3D Friends

allwildgirl

allwildgirl

Cathlete
I don't have any. How about you? I have one friend I see maybe once every 6 or 8 months for a quick visit, and my sister, who I see once a month or so.

I have a number of online friends that I chat with every day and who I've met in person a few times, and some online friends who are dear to me that I've never met.

Is this weird?

I heard a report last week that the more online friends you have, the fewer "real" friends you tend to have. But I've never had lots of friends.

Just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat?
 
I have never had many friends either, even when I was younger. I have always been very picky. Right now, I have one friend who I have known since I was about 10 (we didn't start "hanging out" until about 4 1/2 years ago). However, I spend a lot of time with my time, so I guess you could consider him my friend, too. Man, that sounds lame...;-)
 
Hi Shelly I am in the same boat with ya!! I have 2 really dear "3D" Friends who I see about once a month due to conflicting schedules.

I have many more online friends who are becoming just as dear. I maintain a very busy schedule and tend to be very shy so making new "3D" friends can be very difficult.

Making online friends is much easier. Take this for Forum for example, you are already surrounded by people that share a common interest and the friendships grow from there.

I don't feel I would have anymore or less "3D" friends if I did not have any on line friends. And to be honest with you I hope I never have to test the theory!!!!
 
I am the same. I have never really had many friends. Most could be considered aquaintances. As a matter of fact, I didn't have friends till may be about 4 years ago when I joined Hapkido.

There, I guess, I finally met people who has the same interest as I do and do not think I am weird for spending 5 hours a day at the dojo just practicing.

This forum is another place where I feel I fit in. You guys understand the fitness craze, the amount money spent buying various workouts, equipments, the number of hours spent working out and the exhilarting feeling you get when you finally "get" the choerograph after hitting the replay buttons a thousand times.

Here, I am not a crazy person who loveeeeee to exercise. I am normal here, and you guys are my online friends who understand me better than most of my 3D friends and relatives. :D

Penny
 
Personally, I have 2 very close 3D friends...both are neighbors. One lives right across the street from me. I'm God Mother to her daughter (who just turned 1), and my boys and I have dinner with them once a week. She and I talk about anything and everything, and very bluntly too, I might add (lol). My other close friend lives right around the corner from me. I chat with her pretty much every day, but we chat on a different level. She's 10 years older than me and I find that our opinions on things differ. She's not as open as I am and she's very modest and shy.

Add to that, the 'circle' of 3D friends that I've grown close to....they are just that...a CIRCLE. Our common slogan is "it takes a village to...." and you fill in the blank. There are about 12-15 of us all together, and we get together every 6 weeks or so for various reasons...Book Club meeting, Bunco Night, a holiday party, etc. WE've all come to lean on each other during very hard times...and we've all had our share over the past 8-10 years. They jump in whenever somebody's in trouble and don't ask twice about it. At the same time, they're not pushy or nosy...just considerate and generous!

I consider myself VERY lucky to have this around me. I'll tell you what...I don't know if I could have survived some of the crap that's gotten thrown to me without these very fine women. Growing up, I always had 1 best friend, but I always got along better with the guys, so I was very close to my boy friend's group of guys. So I didn't have all the 'girl stuff' and support until I became an adult and moved into my house.

WOW!!!! THANKS for bringing this subject up! It's interesting to see the differences in us all. QUite interesting!

Gayle

p.s. I didn't forget my cyber friends, though! I've gotten to know quite a bit of FABULOUS women from this forum in particular and that number grows all the time!
 
My best friend is my DH. Then I have half a dozen 3D friends who don't live close enough to be visited any more than once or twice a year, but who I always feel connected to when we do get together. I have a handful of 3D friends locally and plenty of on line friends. I consider some of my on line friends as close, if not closer than some of the 3D ones. I'm not sure what that says about me. I do know that I have to push myself to call of see 3D friends. It's so much easier to sit in front of a computer screen and type. Maybe the old adage, you have to be a friend to have a friend, is true.
 
I find it harder to make 3D friends now than it was in college. I am still close to some friends I made while in college or since who are scattered around all over, but we mainly keep in touch by email, phone calls, and seldom visit. I would like to have more local 3D friends, but it's hard to really get to know people when I'm so busy with the rest of my life. It doesn't help that we've moved 3 times in the last 5 years (and twice we were in other countries). I've been in my current home for a year and foresee being here for a long time, but it's still hard to form real friendships, though I have plenty of friendly acquaintances.

I look forward to meeting some of you at a future Cathe road trip, though (provided I can get in!)

[font face="comic sans ms" font color=teal]***Lainie***

http://web.mac.com/lainiefig/iWeb/Site/Exercise/Exercise.html

"The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself." -- Mark Twain[/font]
 
When I was living away from Indiana, in CA and PA for the last 7 years, I did not have many 3D friends. At least that lived close. Now that we are back, I am surrounded by friends. I have to say that it is nice to be back here. I agree with the Pposter. It is harder to form real friendships as I get older. I do meet and did while living away, have friendly acquaintances.
LD
 
I hear you, Shelley. You are definitely not alone in this. I have found that as the years pass, I have less in common with women my age and therefore have less friends. My DH and I do not have children which seems to be the majority of my problem. I just don't have anything in common with the friends who are now mommies. It is not necessarily a negative thing, just seems we have little to talk about. I work with men so coworker friends are out. I guess I am a little old fashioned; I feel uncomfortable getting chummy with men when I am married. I spend most of my time at work, so meeting people is difficult. My free time is spent with my best friend, my DH. It used to bother me but the older I get the less I care. :)
 
I don't really have any 3D friends either. Well, maybe 1 or 2, but I don't see them very regularly (and one of them moved to Miami, so I never see her anymore). People who used to be my 3D friends, I've moved away from, and now they are online friends. Go figure.

I have a similar problem to Melissa - it's hard to make friends when you're the only childless people in the neighborhood. We live in a very family-oriented neighborhood, and DH and I are the only couple without children. So we don't really have much in common with our neighbors, whose conversation mostly consists of the schools, their kids, etc. I don't have anything to contribute to those conversations. *shrug*

It's much easier to find like-minded people online - there are just way more people to choose from.

Shelley, you would be my 3D friend if I could see you more often! You simply must come visit again! :D
 
I was talking about this recently with a younger co-worker. I have very few 3D friends but I had tons when I was younger (I'm 46). I have 3 sisters (one of whom is my twin) that I am extremely close to. I consider them my best friends. I have one or two others that I see for lunch every once in a while. I also have met lots of nice 3D friends through the fitness boot camp that I attend. There has been talk of getting together at some point but so far we never have. I think when we get more "mature" life gets in the way and it's more difficult in fit in friendships. I value the friends I have and am lucky to consider my family as friends (my parents included).
 
Another one here who doesn't have many... really any TRUE & compatible 3D friends. I've never had many either, although I did have more when I was younger. I have some acquaintences & work companions but nobody I'd really feel very comfortable inviting into my life & hanging out with in my free time. I did have one great friend who I met at work (usually a no-no in my book) but she moved away so now she's more of an online friend. I'm sure I'll still see her occasionally but not several times a week like we used to after she got another local job. Funny thing is that she's almost 10 years younger than me & my other friend, with whom I'm not nearly as compatible, is about 5 years younger. Perhaps that's part of my problem... I can't seem to find anyone my age with whom I'm compatible. Also like several others have said, my DH & I don't have kids & no plans for any so at age 39, that sort of limits the possibilities.

My DH is by far my best friend in the world... & has been ever since we met. Not only are we life companions, we just enjoy one-another's company, have the same sense of humor, like working together, & enjoy getting into long discussions about all sorts of things. I get along well with all his friends. In fact, I've always gotten along better with guys than gals for some reason. Since he has several close friends, I have often asked him how you make friends because I don't feel that it's really appropriate to become close friends with co-workers & that's where I spend most of my time other than work. I did meet my other close friend at work, though, so I guess I need to keep an open mind to the possibilities... & I do enjoy my online friends too!

So no, you're not weird Shelley... well not for that reason anyway!:p:+:D
 
I definitely don't have any close 3D friends any more. More like acquaitances and 'situational friends'(like a group of people I get together with one a week to gab in French...but whom I never do anything else with). When I was younger, I did--though never large numbers--but we lost touch when we moved away. I don't have much family either, since I am an only child and my dad died 17 years ago (mom is still around somewhere in Texas, but I don't want to be in contact with her).

I think it's hard to meet people in general nowdays, friends of otherwise, because we tend to do so much in our own little cocoons (at home). And once you pass college age, many people are more involved with their spouses and families than they are with friends.
 
You know, Kel, I asked my DH what I was doing wrong regarding the amount of friends. He said that women expect too much from people. He said that we set ourselves up for failure every time because we expect this fantasy friend and get mad when they don't pan out. He gets frustrated sometimes when I cannot stand his friend's wife who I am expected to be BF's with. I am sure others have been caught up in this situation where the guys get along and you are expected to get along with the SO. Most times it doesn't work out for me. Usually because, as the wise DH says, I expect too much from the friendship. I have learned a lot from DH. Mostly, I have learned to RELAX. :)
 
Melissa, your DH does sound like a wise man indeed. Women probably do expect too much from their female friends & I'm sure it goes both ways. Maybe his explanation is the reason that I tend to get along with guys better than gals too. I haven't been placed in the situation of being expected to get along well with my DH's friend's spouses or SO's because most of the time his friends come over alone & the boys go out to a football game or something. I usually use this time to workout or watch a "chick flick" or get on here & chat. I also tend to worry too much in all aspects of my life so I think I need to learn to relax more too.:)
 
This is a great post!! I recently moved and have found no friends...yet I have tried! I begin to think I am just not a "normal" person and let it be. But at times I do get a little sad!! :( My DH is my best friend..which he has friends and his friends have invited us out-which I have attended and couldn't wait to leave....as they have not asked us back either. Everyday I take my lil girl to kindergarten surrounded by many parents and yet no one comes near me. The ladies group together and I stand to the side. I have always been on the sidelines with friends. Sometimes it carries over even onto the forum I want to post but..have found no one particularly interested in specializing a friendship. But I do still post and read..if I didn't have that well, I would be driving my mom crazy for hours a day. duck
 
Oh Duck! I'll be your friend! You should feel better now that you know you are not alone! :) Have a good day!
 
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