Temperamental 10 year old... how should I punish her?

[ImFiddY]

I'm not so worried about "anger issues", I do the same thing when I'm frustrated - only I've learned to stomp my foot instead.

Your daughter is showing her anger as she has been taught by you. It is a red flag issue that needs to be adressed.

If she only does it when trying to learn then there is a learning frustration that could be helped with a tutor. If it happens anytime she is frustrated then hopefully the school counselors can offer some suggestions in how to difuse her anger.

Learn to deal with your anger other than stomping your foot and she will take your lead.

 

[MidgetDogg]

Yeah, I'm not buying her a computer for Christmas. Getting one of those is twice as expensive as repairing mine (had I actually not gotten the repair for free). To me, that actually sounds like a reward. "Break mom's computer... I get my own!" I'm not buying her one until she's in her teens. I also don't see the point of breaking something of hers, since most of what she has, I paid for myself.

She was pretty funny when she was telling me what happened between her hysterical sobs, "you don't have to get me anything for Christmas! You don't have to get me a TV for my room!...." Uhhhh.... I've already told her a million times she's not getting a TV in her room. Thanks for letting me off the hook.

 

[cakebaker]

My solution

First, she can't ever use your computer, she has to buy her own with money that she either earns or gets from birthdays or holidays. You can help her shop for one - don't overlook those available on Craigs List.

 

[RapidBreath]

Simple solution:

She pays for it. She works for you minimum wage until its paid off. When I was a teen I wanted a 70 dollar tape deck (aging myself!!) so what my Mom did was make me a deal that I would clean the bathrooms until my 70 dollars was paid back. Obviously, this repair will be a lot more. She will start to recognize the value of the object when its in comparison to the value of her work.

Also, she really needs some sort of impulse control help. She could do damage to a person. All of us have to learn how to control our anger and you might consult someone who works with troubled kids. We don't want her getting into serious trouble at school because she broke someone else's things or worse hit someone. My neice had a problem like this and when I met her at the age of 11 I didn't do what she wanted and she beat the holy hell out of me(bruised ribs.). I didn't respond in kind of course because she was a child and I was an adult. I just told her mother and left it at that. But, I have got to tell you I don't really trust my niece. I want your daughter to avoid having people think, "Yikes!" when they see her.

I hope that helps.

 

[JeanneMarie]

Your daughter is showing her anger as she has been taught by you. It is a red flag issue that needs to be adressed.

If she only does it when trying to learn then there is a learning frustration that could be helped with a tutor. If it happens anytime she is frustrated then hopefully the school counselors can offer some suggestions in how to difuse her anger.

Learn to deal with your anger other than stomping your foot and she will take your lead.

This is exactly what I was thinking. She has been taught by example.