Moms...Need Some Help...Again

[mabdoo]

My dear, sweet, little daughter has started throwing tantrums. she just turned two. When she doesn't get what she wants she walks up to her 10 month old sister and grabs her face or scratches her or pulls her hair. She has also pulled my hair and has done it to 2 kids in daycare. I try and put her on a chair to sit but she won't stay there for even 10 seconds. I have to literally hold her down and she fights the whole time. In the meantime the little one is usually crying because she wants me to comfort her.

Today she didn't get what she wanted twice and screamed, and I mean SCREAMED for over 20 minutes. We didn't give in and tried to get her to sit down but again she fought us the whole time. She does eventually calm down but it seems to take forever. I feel terrible but I could not wait to put her to bed tonight.

Any suggestions? Thanks.

 

[Stephanie0523]

When my boys were 2 and having tantrums, I'd say, "I am SO sorry that you are choosing to act so ugly. I don't talk to little boys who act ugly." and I'd leave the room and ignore them. They'd eventually realize that their actions weren't getting attention and they'd stop. Another thing that works sometimes is to just redirect their attention. Like, if they are upset about not being able to have a cookie, I'd say, "Instead why don't you go bring mommy a book to read." If they are not in a full-blown tantrum, that works.

My kids still have tantrums from time to time, especially my 4 year old. At this point, they know better, so I make them go to their room or take away a toy or privilege.

And I realize that the days I am most busy and pre-occupied with the baby or housework are the days that the tantrums occur. Kids just want attention --they prefer positive attention, but if mommy is very busy then they sometimes act ugly in order to get SOME attention.

Good luck with your little one!

 

[LaughingWater]

Oh man, I'm sorry you're dealing with the Terrible Twos.

It's been a while, but I remember putting the girls in their room. My second one was way tougher to "break" so to speak, so at first she would start tearing up her room and throwing stuff. Or she would try banging on the door and screaming. (It was briefly like being on tour with Motley Crüe. )

I stopped it immediately by going into her room and taking away her favorite toys, telling her I was going to keep them for one week for every 5 minutes she freaked like this. And I mean her favorite, can't-live-without stuff (like her stuffed Barney, who she snuggled with at night).

It was harsh, and she was horrified, but it worked.

This is going to sound terrible , but find her Achilles Heel and use it! Good luck.

 

[Sunshine1528]

So many children go through this and it is typically a phase - thus the term "terrible twos".

They are not sure how to express their feelings and this is their time to learn that. Trying to make sure they understand that it is OK to be upset is good and then trying to teach them the correct way to deal with it is also necessary.

I found the hardest part, as I had a really stubborn one that was, thank goodness the last one, was finding something that would work. There are a great many articles if you google something like "how to deal with tantrums" out on the internet. You can try different things to see what will work. What I also found is that the "discipline" many times will only work for so long and then it is time to try something different.

My DD did not care if she had toys or not, could not be bribed by going to do something special, did not mind being by herself, so yes, it was difficult and trying. The best part is that they outgrow it.

You have it hard because you have one younger that needs you also.

Hope things get better for you soon.

 

[workoutaholic]

My dear, sweet, little daughter has started throwing tantrums. she just turned two. When she doesn't get what she wants she walks up to her 10 month old sister and grabs her face or scratches her or pulls her hair. She has also pulled my hair and has done it to 2 kids in daycare. I try and put her on a chair to sit but she won't stay there for even 10 seconds. I have to literally hold her down and she fights the whole time. In the meantime the little one is usually crying because she wants me to comfort her.

Today she didn't get what she wanted twice and screamed, and I mean SCREAMED for over 20 minutes. We didn't give in and tried to get her to sit down but again she fought us the whole time. She does eventually calm down but it seems to take forever. I feel terrible but I could not wait to put her to bed tonight.

Any suggestions? Thanks.

Hi, I don't have any suggestions, but I wanted to tell you I am there with you with my 20-month old. He has always been more difficult than all of my friends' kids his age (and I have a lot of friends with kids his age). He screams in his stroller after only sitting in it for 10 or 15 minutes, and in his high chair in restaurants, and also in his car seat all the time, because he just seems to hate sitting still. At home, we've tried putting him in a chair when he's misbehaving, and he won't sit there either. And if we hold him on our laps, he'll fight us forever. He can scream and fight for a very long time.

We started putting him in timeout in his room, and he got upset about it at first. Well, it never changed his behavior and now he just plays or thinks it's funny (even when we put him in his pack-n-play alone in the guest room. He doesn't have favorite toys or anything like that, and he doesn't really care if you take his toys away. When I tell/ask him not to do something, he'll do it again and smile at me, as if it's a game. If I fuss at him sometimes he just laughs. I am finding that ignoring him is working, sometimes. I think I'll keep trying that and see where it goes.

When you figure it out, please let me know.