Speaking of slobs......another work rant

LauraMax

LauraMax

Cathlete
Please allow me to vent, sorry it's so long, & thanks in advance for putting up w/me.

One of the employees I supervise, who works right outside my office, continually violates our dress code by wearing t-shirts, jeans, denim mini-skirts, etc. to work. I'm not sure why she thinks this is appropriate for an office setting, but regardless of my many comments to her about office wear she continues to ignore me.

Now bear in mind, for the last 2-3 years I've bent over backwards to help her with her career & have been very flexible with her personal issues. She's 30 YO & has 4 kids & there's always some kind of drama going on at home. When we lost one staff member last year I was really supportive & told her this was an opportunity to prove herself & jump start her career. Sadly she's completely blown off any added responsibility, when I ask her for things I have to literally wait MONTHS until I get it, even when I ask her almost every day (which often puts me in a bad spot b/c I have deadlines to meet), & she's stated that she won't do any additional work until she gets a raise (I've tried to explain that things work in the reverse but it falls on deaf ears).

And other things I've done for her--like last year for her birthday she'd fallen in love w/a $300 purse but said she couldn't afford it. I took up a collection which needless to say didn't even come close to the cost, which I made up out of my own pocket. Also my boss has been on the verge of firing her or transferring her to a crappy position several times over the years & I've always defended her & talked him into giving her another chance.

So, back to the wardrobe thing--she claims she can't afford office wear. I don't get this b/c 1) there are many employees here who make the same or less than she does who manage to dress appropriately, & 2) she drives a brand-spanking-new Ford Explorer w/all the bells & whistles. Her car payment is twice what mine is!

Now to the meat of all this--last Thursday everyone wore jeans b/c they were supposed to clean out some files. They never did. When they were leaving she said to me smugly, "I guess since we didn't clean out the files today we get to wear jeans again tomorrow." I said "you're always looking for an excuse not to dress professionally." She said "I am dressed professionally." I said "no you're not, you look like a slob."

She's filing a grievance against me for calling her a slob. I'm just astounded, not to mention incredibly hurt. I've tried so hard to help this woman & she's basically stabbed me in the back. My comment was said in an off-the-cuff, joking manner. It wasn't racial, it wasn't gender, it wasn't class, it wasn't any kind of epithet at all, & certainly far worse things have been said around here. I told her Monday I thought we had a friendship, that clearly I was wrong, & that this would never happen again b/c from here on out our relationship would be all business, all the time--no more banter, no more chatting, no more joking around. I also told her from that from now on when she violated the dress code I wouldn't say a thing, I'd just put it in writing & into her employee file. She went to my boss & said I was creating a hostile work environment!

Fortunately my boss is backing me, but I'm at the point where I feel I'M being harassed by HER. She's unhappy at home, she's unhappy w/her job & she's taking it out on pretty much the only person who can help her. I even asked her what kind of result she wanted from this & she had no answer. I guess it's just to make my life miserable.

I don't know if anyone has any advice for me but I have to admit I'm pretty upset. I'm not sure why people think it's unreasonable for me to expect them to dress & behave professionally while they're at work. I don't give a crap what they do when they're not here, but I'm responsible for this department, I'm accountable for their behavior, & I have to do what I think is right.

Whew! What a long rant that turned out to be! Thanks for listening..........
 
Wow, Laura. I'm so sorry. This chick sounds like a certified wacko. Keep doing what you're doing, everything sounds good so far. Like Robin said, document everything. (I know, you have enough to do, you don't need to be writing a novel about this woman...). Good luck!

Allison
 
<I don't give a crap what they do when they're not here, but I'm responsible for this department, I'm accountable for their behavior, & I have to do what I think is right.>

I think you just answered your own question. Sounds like she's being insubordinate and in your position I would take the appropriate steps: a written warning and then dismissal. That may sound harsh but it seems like she's walking all over you and knows it!
 
Yes, I'm putting everything in writing. It's a total PIA & truthfully I'd started a file over the spring when her work ethic hit rock bottom, but she's so awful that it became too time consuming to do every day. Now just to cover myself I have to start again.

Darli Ann, I wish I could terminate her, but this is government & that would pretty much guarantee a lawsuit for "retribution."

I am, however, looking into the possibility of filing my own grievance for harassment after we wrap up her nonsense.
 
She's gotten away with this dress code violation because you've allowed it, to be quite blunt. No wonder she ignores you - your directives carry no weight in her mind. She doesn't complete her work, again, because she knows you'll let it go. Don't let her get away with stuff, and there will be no need for the work rants. From what I can tell, these problem people are being enabled by management to get away with this amazing behavior. I don't know what to suggest other than to develop some backbone and really act like a supervisor.
 
>She's gotten away with this dress code violation because
>you've allowed it, to be quite blunt. No wonder she ignores
>you - your directives carry no weight in her mind. She
>doesn't complete her work, again, because she knows you'll let
>it go. Don't let her get away with stuff, and there will be
>no need for the work rants. From what I can tell, these
>problem people are being enabled by management to get away
>with this amazing behavior. I don't know what to suggest
>other than to develop some backbone and really act like a
>supervisor.

Cakebaker, you clearly do not like me (for whatever reason--much like this employee I've never done anything to you, yet you're habitually nasty to me) & if you don't have anything positive to say I wish you'd just ignore or not respond to my posts. Didn't your mother ever teach you that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything?

You know nothing about working w/government & unions. I wonder if you ever even supervised anyone or have ever had a position in management. Please keep your insults to yourself. In advance, thank you for your consideration.
 
Lauramax: Sounds like she was almost biding her time so she could file some ridiculous complaint and maybe she is hoping to get something monetary back - -

I have totally put myself out there and helped out other co-workers before only to let it bite me in the butt. You are doing the right thing. Cut all ties and write her up when she dresses inappropriately -

She should have thought about her career before her "ride" a Ford explorer is unnecessary, even with four kids - gas alone has to be a fortune for her. And honestly you can pick up nice clothes at some GoodWill stores in most cities and even Target has nice work clothes that go on clearance racks all the time. She is just looking for an excuse. what a pathetic creature. I don't envy your position, but you have an opportunity now to get rid of her - her lack of work ethic will soon get her fired.
 
I think you're right. Truthfully I think she was baiting me & hoping I'd make a comment that would make for a grievance. Yeah, I've even sat down w/her at the computer & gone through websites like Old Navy (where I get most of my work clothes), TJ Maxx & the like.

And I think if she truly had $$ problems she'd be driving a Kia.
 
LauraMax, sorry you have to deal with this lazy SLOB. (There, I'm saying it loud and proud for you.) I wish you the best in working this mess out.

[font face="comic sans ms" font color=teal]***Lainie***

My fitness blog: http://web.mac.com/lainiefig/iWeb/Site/Exercise/Exercise.html
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Laura,

Don't take this the wrong way but cakebaker does have a point. I think you have been too nice to this woman and clearly she is taking advantage of your kindness. I don't have any advice about the dress code but as far as her being late with her work, I would set due dates that she must meet or.......else.

I understand what it is to depend on other people for information to meet certain deadlines. It sucks. But where I work, if someone does not meet deadlines there are consequences.

I hope everything works out.

Kathy
 
Oh people totally take advantage of you if you are a nice person - - it sometimes sucks being a nice normal human and actually caring about others and trying to help them......especially when its obvious this particular individual had alterior motives......

Your doing the right thing now - hole her to the same standards as she deserves - the same as everyone else. I would guess their is some policy about getting sent home without pay until you can come to work appropriately dressed. Enforce it or ask your boss to create this guideline.......do what you have to protect yourself -
 
That stinks! I would definatley keep a log! She sounds like a basket case and will slip up sooner then later and you can just step back and watch her crumple.

Dress code is something that is lacking at my work. There really isn't one. I could get away with wearing sweat pants if I wanted to but I don't because I am at the front and if someone comes in they can see me and I need to look professional. It irritates me to no end when people come in and it looks like they just rolled out of bed and threw on some clothes. I finally blew a gasket when one summer day a guy came to work in BEACH WEAR!!! I am not kidding shorts, muscle shirt, and sandles! I may have overreacted but come on who the hell wants to see your ugly bare feet, chest hair, and knobby knees!

But you know some people are stunned! They leave the house in the morning look in the mirror and think they look appropriate. If you didn't tell her she looked like a slob who would have. I think she got so upset because she knows that there is a bit of truth to it but she tells herself excuses for why it's okay.

The whole I can't afford it is a line of bull. I don't admit this often but I get all my office clothes from the thrift store. I can get 5 or 6 outfits for $100 and it's office wear, not your after hours clothes. I would rather buy new clothes that I like.

Good Luck and keep looking extra professional to put her to shame!
 
I actually wrote the dress code when I started here 5 years ago. She's the only one who refused to follow it.

Kathy, cakebaker might have a point but she could try to be a little nicer about it instead of name-calling & hurling insults. There are many things people don't understand about working w/govmt & unions. I operate under a lot of constraints & disciplinary actions are ultimately the decision of our governing body. NJ government has a tendency to favor employees in lawsuits, & our council is so paranoid about the expense of being sued (not just the settlement, but the legal fees as well) that they force us to keep disciplinary actions to the bare minimum.

Which basically allows employees to harass their supervisors, since management is not union & employees know their supervisors have to walk on eggshells w/them, especially when there's a pending grievance. It's complicated & it's a ridiculous situation.
 
Laura,

I know exactly where you are coming from. I supervisor a 41 year old woman who has been nothing but trouble. We started at the same time and formed a friendship (my mistake). She is single, lives alone and has been in several abusive relationships. She takes EVERYTHING personally. If someone looked at her the wrong way she was in my office complaining about them. If someone asked her whose car was in the parking lot, she would chew their heads off saying that it wasn't her job. She is defensive, unfriendly and clearly has attitude problems. The first year she was here, she called in sick way too many times. She has issues with men and unfortunately the men outnumber the women here. Anytime one of the guys said anything remotely against women she'd have a fit. She was written up once for her attitude and has never forgotten this. My boss wanted to fire her but I stuck up for her many times so she is still here. I have been her referee, mother, therapist, etc. She does her job well, but she isn't too busy and has no motivation or initiative to go beyond anything. Truth be told, this isn't a busy office but she would rather sit than file. I have been a friend to her, taken her out to lunch and paid for it and have taken care of her cats when she has been out of town. No one in the office likes her and I tried to be her cheerleader for everyone that complained about her.

It got to the point where I couldn't stand her whining anymore so I had be the supervisor that I was and talk to her. It was the most frustrating conversation I ever had. She threw up a wall up and basically had an answer for every point I tried to make. She blamed me for lots of it. After about 15 minutes I had it. I started yelling at her and told her about all the times I saved her butt and how they wanted to fire her. It got no reaction. I told her that I would remove myself as her supervisor and have my boss be her supervisor (neither wanted that). We moved into a professional only conversation mode. I was afraid that she would file a grievance against me because at one point in our "discussion" I stood up and shook a pen in her face. I told my boss about the conversation and he backed me up. The one good thing that came out of this is that she is has changed for the most part. Her attitude is friendly, she is following up on her projects and her defensive attitude is gone. One of my co-workers told me that she may not like you but she apparently listened to you. We are talking more to each other but I'm keeping my distance and trying to be a boss not a friend. That was my mistake from the beginning.

I have no advice really except to document everything. I know exactly what you are going through so I feel your pain. Hang in there!! It's really tough when you see a wounded soul and try to help them and they just don't realize what you have done for them.

Good luck. I hope it all works out for you.
 
If it's a work rant...it must be Laura! ;-)

Wow, talk about biting the hand that feeds you!

Is calling someone a 'slob' (when it's pretty much the truth) considered some form of harrassment?

Too bad you didn't document her violations of the dress code previously, as that would give more credence to your side of things if this ever goes to some grievance committee. Your mentioning it to her on numerous occasions is more of a 'she said/she said' situation if there's no supporting evidencde. Keeping note of them now is a good idea.

Keeping the relationship strickly professional from now on is a good idea. If I were you, I would definitely no longer stand in the way of the boss transfering her (though now, she'd probably take that as another form of creating a hostile work environment).

As for not being able to afford dressier clothes: I'm sure she could probably find something quite a bit nicer in a second-hand store or consignment shop.
 
There is just NO excuse for dressing unprofessionally to work. I've even seen work clothes CHEAPER than lounge wear at places like Marshall's and TJ Max. And there's always Old Navy! In my opinion, her excuse is completely invalid. Geez!

Carolyn
 
While I think the employee is wrong for not following the dress code, I would not appreciate my boss saying I dressed like a slob even if it was in a joking manner. That is unprofessional. I have to agree that this has went on a long time letting her dress in jeans. She probably thinks you won't say anything and just continues on because she knows you won't say anything.
 
No no, I think you didn't read the whole post--I HAVE mentioned it to her over & over & over again. That's why the situation was so frustrating--that she was rubbing it in my face that she was wearing jeans 2 days in a row, knowing how much it bothered me.

I do have documentation of her inappropriate attire, including dates & times. Also documentation of her coming in half hour late, taking an extra half hour at lunch, leaving early without permission. Like I said, I started last spring but there were so many offenses it was too exhausting & time consuming.

Kathryn, I told the boss to go ahead & transfer her to DPW. Let her manure our ballfields & shovel some snow for a living. ;-)
 
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