Reminder to be Kind to yourself!

K

kristina

Cathlete
I just wanted to say that over the holidays, the average person gains between 5-15 pounds. And you know what, SO WHAT!
We work hard all year and indulge ourselves this season and it is GOOD for you once in awhile. That's why God gave us black pants and baggy sweaters for cheap at Big K Mart!
If you are one of those people, like moi,remember to be kind to yourself and don't stress out over the weight gain. Jump back into your good habits,keep up your workouts, and try really hard to love yourself and not make yourself crazy over temporary Christmas bulge.
Happy Holidays to everyone, and best of good health and happiness!
 
Funny side note: I even heard that Sandra Bullock said she was completely tossing any diet during the holidays, she's planning to eat like a pig and knows she'll gain a few pounds but she's not working and she says she'll deal with it later. She just wants to enjoy herself and not be so nuerotic about body image and food. I think that's awesome! I wish more public figures, no pun intended, said and did things like that, to show people that you can actually EAT and look good.
 
THANKS

That is EXACTLY what I needed to hear today. I appreciate your kind words since I have definitely been beating myself up for my holiday binging. I'm getting back on track and you made me feel great. Thanks again!!
 
RE: THANKS

What a great message!Just this morning I was losing it realizing I have gained 2 pounds over the holiday.Probably sounds like not much to get upset about but as a former anorexic who still has SERIOUS issues with food,thoughts like yours help to put things back in perspective a bit.Thanks!
 
RE: THANKS!!!

It is so hard to force myself NOT to step on scale everyday. I made a promise to myself that I'd only weigh in once a week, and to my surprise I have pretty much kept that promise to myself (ok, I did jump on it on Tues), but you know? When i saw the numbers, I didn't really care that much!! I have had a wonderful holiday season so far, I have baked like a fiend and enjoyed my treats and sharing them with my family and friends. I have kept up my workouts and if I indulge, so what? and oh well! The time I have spent with family and friends have been far more important to me other than should I eat that?? After the holidays I will get back on track, but in the meantime I plan to celebrate!! Everything everybody has said is so true, we DO work hard, so let enjoy ourselves for this breif moment in time.

Happy new Year!!

Aimee
 
KZN

I am so glad you are on the mend! I know what a torture anorexia is and I am so deeply sorry that you suffered from it--
BUT HOW PROUD ARE YOU THAT YOU ARE STILL AROUND TO TALK TO US ABOUT IT! You have to have an iron will to survive that disease. :-jumpy
 
RE: KZN

Thank you!!! Lately I've had more bad days than good in that regard but like you said at least I'm still here!Love the little jumping green guy in your message,first laugh I've had today!!
 
RE: THANKS

Hi KZN,
What another poster said is so true "You have to have an iron will to survive anorexia". I'm also very proud of you for working so hard to recover.

I watched my aunt almost die of anorexia. This was many, many years ago (I don't even think it had a name then). She got down to 62 lbs and she's probably around 5'8. She was an absolute skeleton. I remember the nurses calling from the hospital to tell my dad that his sister would probably not live thru the night. That happened several times. Somehow she did recover and I'm so lucky to still have her today. She is around 105 lbs now. Still too skinny, but to us she looks good. She has lots of problems with stomach pain. (Not sure if that's because of the anorexia or not). Anyway, it takes a very strong person to recover from a nightmare such as that.

I hope you continue to feel better. My aunt means so much to me, and just think, YOU MEAN SO MUCH to the people in your life!!!

Take Care
Lisa
 
RE: KZN

Hey KZN,
I too have battled a three year struggle with anorexia. I got under 100 pounds and at 5'7" I was skeletal. I was maid of honor at my best friends wedding and when I saw the pictures, reality struck and realized I looked like a walking dead person. I have been treating the anorexia for a little over a year and I am at a healthy weight. Actually it was two stress fractures that did not heal for 8 months that "helped" me gain weight. This was indeed very difficult to deal with, but I told myself I wouldn't starve myself again. I new that I would never heal if I restricted my calories and I wanted to run again. I still have very serious issues with food, but it felt good to let myself be human and enjoy holiday goodies for the first time in 4 years. I know that this must be a very difficult time for you, but what helps me is to actually talk to myself out loud. Your mind always plays tricks on you, so when you speak to yourself outloud it makes you think even harder. It helps me even though it sounds silly. I am still not 100%, but I consider myself a very determined person, and I will not let this disease control me.
Please feel free to talk with me. Maybe we could support eachother. It sounds like you are trying hard to recover and that is the biggest step of all. Take care and Good Luck!
Christine
 
RE: KZN

Wow- I talk to myself out loud sometimes too (if only to try to drown out the "you are such a fat stupid cow!!" stuff that goes on inside my head).It's like there are two sides to me:the rational side that knows that when I was 5'8 and 97 pounds I looked awful and was in pain all the time,and the compulsive side that only remembers how fun it was to wear size 2 Gap jeans and the weird thrill that I got from hearing everybody freak out over how skinny I was. I still miss that! I have a husband and three kids now and a very stressful life (two autistic boys and one typically developing 2 year old girl) and sometimes I miss that crutch-feeling like I was the master of my life because I had mastered my body. You're right about the stress this time of year can bring-as a matter of fact it was at Christmastime that I began gaining weight back after reaching my skinniest and I still get freaked out every December remembering it! I have been resorting to faking sick occasionally to get out of going out to functions involving food because I just can't handle the stress. Oh well, January is only a few days away!
 
RE: KZN

Hi again!
Yes, anorexia is definetely a control issue. I figured if I can't control what life is dealing me, well, I can control my weight. I admit it was a high to put on size 0 and still have room. I also loved it when people would tell me how skinny I was. I realize they didn't say it out of envy, but out of disgust. I nearly killed myself and it was a dark time. It just was not worth it.
I wish you could take this time to enjoy the holidays. I used to pretend I was sick too to avoid the pressure. Now, it's fun to socialize and live life again. I missed that.
I think the hardest thing to deal with was going from a 0 to an 8. It was literally devastating to go from one size to another. I still feel that people judge me and are talking about how "fat" I have become, but deep down I know that is my own insecurities. I do want to be a size 6, and now that I can resume normal excersize, that shouldn't be a problem.
I have a question for you. Do you weigh yourself? It wasn't until I stopped the scale obsession that I improved. I went from weighing myself 5 times a day to never. Well, I did weigh myself 2 months ago and I was not pleased, but muscle weighs more than fat and I worked hard at building all the muscle back after my emaciated days.
Your right, tommorow is the last day of Dec. and I hope life will go back to normal for you. Sorry I am rambling on, but after keeping this secret for so long it is liberating to talk about it because it helps keep me honest. Plus if there is a chance to help anyone, it would make my struggle worth something. Take care! You can do it!
Christine
 
Master of yourself

When I was 11, a had a very uninformed physician tell me I was clinically obese. he had this terrible poster of a 350 lbs woman dressed in a green baby doll surrounded with sweets and stuffing a ho-ho in her mouth on his wall over the scale. I was 5'2", had had my period already for 2 years, and was an athletic size 10. I was already running and doing aerobics at the Y with my Mom. Well, I took him to heart and I ate lettuce and one fig newton every day for 5 months, that's it. And when I knew I had to eat more, I made myself throw up. It was a really mean cycle. And then finally summer came, and I had lost all sense of reality. I was parading around in a bathing suit and my Mom almost died...I'll never forget it. This was twenty years ago (WOW! That's scary!) My Mom is a nurse and she found someone who knew a little about the disease to treat me for about 6 months. To this day, I too still battle the urge to starve and purge from time to time, and it is the hardest struggle of my life. Control freaks that we are, we resort to old habits when our lives feel out of control.
I tell you this so you know that I truly understand that voice. And my way of dealing with it is to take a picture of myself that I really dig, and put it on my mirror. :D And when that voice starts berating me and criticizing me and bringing me down, :-mad I stare at that picture and tell myself I am still that person and I still look great and I am the master of my universe. My body is always in my control and it is my friend, and that a$%hole voice cannot make me starve myself or fool myself into believing that starving is control over anything. Instead of fighting my body, I fight that voice. And in my mind, it is another person. ANd I yell at it and argue back with it and it makes me feel better. I miss being skinny too, but we all know how unhealthy it is to force it by starving. But it is still hard, I know. :-tired
Make sure you have a support system so that when you get down and that voice gets going, if you don't have the strenght to tell it to go to hades, someone else will help you do it. You have a family and friends that need you and love you.. and you deserve that love, no matter what the scale or your size!! :* Happy New Year!
 
RE: Master of yourself

Hi Kristina,
Thank you for sharing your story. I am so happy you are able to gain control again. It is a hard battle because it is a fight you just can't win. I look at pictures of when I was really skinny, and my face was so gaunt with lines in the cheeks. I am 24 and I looked so aged and pale and deadlike. I do think it helps to really talk with yourself logically. Also because of the damage I have done, I have been so injury prone. I totally understand the other voice and it is cool that you think of it as someone else. I am happy for you and I hope we all can keep ourselves happy and healthy! That is so important! Good luck.
Christne
 
RE: KZN

You know it's funny,I wear a size 8 and covet a 6 too!I weigh myself almost every day and it seems like my mood for the day hinges on it.These days when I weigh myself first thing in the morning before eating anything it's about 118.Of course I want it to be less but like you I constantly remind myself that I'm lifting heavy weights and I WANT more muscle. By the way not only don't I mind you "rambling" but talking about it like this is liberating for me too!! I have been to support groups that were nothing more than sick one-upsmanship contests where everybody tried to convince everybody else that THEY were the sickest,like it was a point of pride!This experience has by far been the most positive experience I have had commiserating with other people with the same problems.YOU GUYS ARE GREAT!!
 
RE: Master of yourself

WOW,I admire your determination!!The picture idea is great-I will have to try that!:D
 
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