You're dieting, he's trying to gain!

K

Kathy02

Cathlete
Ok, how many of you out there have this problem? It drives me nuts. Dh can eat whatever he wants, whenever he wants, not workout, smoke, drink, whatever. Still has the body of a 21 year old and low body fat. Then there's me, always watching what I eat, hardly ever drink, don't smoke, workout 5 days a week, and I still have weight to lose.
Now, here's the most frustrating part, I want to make a healthy dinner, and dh doesn't want it. He will go make himself a pizza, or hamburger helper, while I'm sitting there eating my chicken breast with green beans, or whatever.
With support like that it's no wonder I can't eat clean all the time. Any of you have this problem too?

Kathy
 
My DH and I have decidedly different tastes in food choices. It doesn't bother me that he goes for a hamburger when I want a salad, or when he orders steak and I order fish. Is it really up to someone's spouse to "support" by eating foods they themselves don't want, especially when they themselves are trying to "gain"?

A-Jock
 
Ah, I'm just bugged, maybe just a little jealous too. I don't feel that he has to completely support what I eat, but it's very hard to eat a chicken breast, or, something along those lines, while he and my son are munching on pizza. But, I am getting used to it. I used to eat healthy all day long, and then just eat whatever for dinner. But now that I'm on the pill, I am just not losing any weight doing that, which I used to be able to do, so I'm watching what I eat for dinner as well. And then just not snacking afterwards. It's just not easy to do while watching others eat something that you want too.
 
Kathy,

it sounds to me that you are on the wrong diet. You need to find foods that don't make you feel restricted. Remember, one slice of pizza doesn't make you fat, the whole pie does.

I recommend that you eat whatever you truly desire in moderation. In order to be satisfied with the smaller portion, eat an apple, drink two cups of water or even have a serving of Metamucil before lunch/dinner.

You'll loose weight and you won't be tempted of pigging out whenever the diet is over and therefore, gaining the weight back.
 
Not sure if this will help, but I focus on preparing healthy meals & exercising portion control rather than getting super rigid. So while we may have pasta or pizza, it's usually a pretty healthy version, and there's a nutrient dense salad or vegetable to go with it. My plate may be 2/3 vegies with 1/3 pasta. And I don't get more pasta.

I get into more trouble snacking on almonds than the cookies or other treats that are around for my husband. Tortilla chips are about the only junk food that I just can't leave alone.

Even though DH is quite thin, I still want him to eat for long-term health. But guys have a lot more room for indulgences with their higher calorie burn.

I am impressed that your guy will make his own meal! My DH's culinary skills have nearly disappeared.

Debra
 
Although I'm not sure I can entirely relate as my husband tends to want everything I eat (polishes off all the food I buy for myself and leaves all the crap that he buys for himself which I wouldn't want to eat), I do understand that you feel slightly deprived when you watch other family members eating pizza.

I find that a few mental tricks help. I try to use really positive imagery when it comes to my food. I tell myself that I am eating the best quality food available or I focus on how good my workout will be the next day, how good my hair and skin will look etc. Its important to stay positive about what you eat rather than hanker for something that you think you want because you can't have it. Also treat yourself in other ways.

It also sounds like you eat clean all the time. I know a lot of people do have the discipline to do that and not feel deprived but I firmly believe that you really do not have to do eat clean all the time for months on end in order to lose weight. As someone who was in food prison for a long time (was very stubborn about eating clean), I found that I lost weight a lot more successfully by going out for a hearty meal once a week. I think a cheat meal can do more good than harm if you tend to have a slow metabolism or if you are dieting very rigidly.

Alternatively you could have a little treat every night to replace the fact that you can't eat what you want for dinner like you used to. I personally always have 'dessert' - normally its yogurt with frozen strawberries or a cup of fat free chocolate (only 25 cals) or a sugar free fudge bar (35 cals)etc.

Anyway, you're not alone. There are a lot of us who can't really eat pizza or burgers for dinner on a regular basis. Remember us instead when you see your husband and son downing that stuff. But on the other hand I don't think one can eat healthy all the time and not feel deprived. I think you should have that pizza once a week!
 
Ok, I'm obviously wording this wrong. Or maybe none of you have this problem where you husband feels that eating very fattening foods is the only way to gain weight, and won't and I mean won't eat anything that is low in fat, or even remotely healthy for him. He thinks that meat and potatoes is the only way to eat, he'd eat it every meal if he could. When I first met him I tried to keep up with his eating and I gained about 20 pounds. Granted I lost that weight before we got married. Then when I was pregnant I had a great time keeping up with him as well. Then I had to lose that weight too. Now that i have had three miscarriages I'm up about 7 pounds now, I've lost 3, I'm on the pill and my weight doesn't want to budge. So, I'm going to the extreme for now. DH asked me last week how long he will have to make himself a seperate meal. I told him however long it takes.
Don't you ever want to sit down with your husband and eat ice cream? Maybe not the portion that my dh eats, a small mixing bowl full to the top, but eat some? He eats that almost every night. He was upset when they took out the McDonalds super size meals. Now is it making more sence why it's so distressing to see how he eats? I know that he's not as healthy as me, but why can't I eat like that ya know?
Not that I'd want to eat quite that badly, but, seriously I eat McDonalds and I gain 2 pounds that night, and that is just a regular sized meal. So, needless to say I don't eat the value meals, I eat the salads. That was a hard habbit to break a few years ago, now it's habit to order the salad.
I guess I'm a loner in the fact that my dh won't touch low fat, or low carb anything. If there isn't a starch it isn't a meal to him. If it's grilled chicken breast with even rice, not good enough, he wants cream of muchroom soup on the chicken, and not the low fat kind either.
If I make spaghetti it has to have hamburger in it, now does it make sence? I honestly can't eat that or I'd be the size of a whale.
Anyway, I just thought maybe there were some women out there that had the same problem with a high metabolism dh and they have a much slower metabolism.
Just had to vent I guess.

Kathy
 
I eat ice cream with my kids all the time - I am the 36-year-old-mom at the mall who eats normal food with her family and still looks toned. If you make a science out of food intake, you loose the fun of eating.

I would not want to touch low-fat, low-carb either to be honest. I eat normal. I watch for artifical additives. If my DH wants gravy on his meat, I cook it - it doesn't mean I have to eat it. If he wants cornbread - I make it also I cannot stand it.

I don't see the big deal of cooking what DH likes, you can always cut your portions or leave stuff off. Men need more calories than women, always have, always will, why sweat over it?
 
Hi, Kathy!
It sounds like you two need to compromise. He needs to agree to clean his diet up a little and you need to eat a little less strictly. You'll find many women here who has lost very large amounts of weight eating a healthy number of calories and working out. Eating too strictly can slow your metabolism. A rigid diet is absolutely unnecessary to lose weight. Tonight, my husband's making his famous spaghetti and meatballs and I am going to enjoy it, not think about how much fat he'll use. I know it will be a lot but I eat clean most of the time so I'll eat it happy I didn't have to cook! I'll eat a cup of pasta, whole wheat if I care to fix that for myself. My family won't touch it. A bit of sauce and two or three meatballs, a lovely salad and green beans! . I exercise strict portion control when it comes to eating high calorie or high fat foods but we eat them at times. I grill burgers at least once a week and I buy the higher fat cuts of burger because that ultra lean stuff tastes dry off the grill. It's all about balance. It does make sense to add hamburger to spaghetti because alone, it's too low in protein and you'll be hungry if you eat a high carb dinner without fat and protein to slow down the digestion of the meal. And Kathy, the only way to gain two pounds in one night is to consume 7,000 more calories than your daily requirement!

When my husband eats away from home we have a don't ask, don't tell agreement. When he's mine to feed, he's going to eat more healthily but very flavorfully. I never allowed my kids to supersize a meal but they do get to eat fast food sometimes. I never have ben able to get them to like dense, whole grain foods the way I do but they eat very well compared to the average kid and that means there's room for occasional junk. I figure someday it will be more important to them and I've laid a good foundation but I can't force them to eat like I do. I love the squeaky cleanness of my clean diet but I also think it's fabulous I can indulge with impunity when I get the chance!

Good luck to you!
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"
 
I have a similar problem but DH will eat wheatever I make.He got on a health kick a few weeks back but it didn't last long.He is now eating McDOnalds on a regular basis.
The good thing about it, somethings that he eats,I don't even want to look at.Yesterday he had, breaded, deep fried weiners, with cheese in the middle.(any single men out there cause I may be looking in the near futurex( ) Now, that doesn't appeal to me one little bit.
DH is very thin as well.He is 5'9" and weighs 137 lbs!
I have just learned to deal with it.I guess it is easier for me b/c I said he eats whatever I make but then night time muching is the worse for me.Sometimes I make him eat is snack downstairs.
Lori
 
Hey Kathy,

Yes, I understand where you're coming from. My husband's diet is awful... nothing but junk all day long. Sweets, fast food, chips, pop corn... lotsa sugar and carbs. He even sits in his easy chair and eats while I'm working out. You may have seen my thread about the Girl Scout cookies.

I've tried to talk to him about his diet. Sure, weight's not a problem for him, but he's certainly not feeding his body nutritious food. And he wonders why he has no energy. He won't eat the food I cook for myself, but - in his defense - he doesn't require me to cook a separate meal. He fends for himself and prefers it that way. Until he makes up his mind to take better care of his body, there's not much I can do.

Your situation sounds a little different. I think the key here is if your husband truly wants to gain - and gain healthy, sexy muscle - he needs to understand that eating a bunch of fattening junk isn't the way to go. Check out the Gaining Mass program:

http://www.skinnyguy.net

This is a healthy diet and weight training program designed specifically for ectomorphs. If you can get him interested, he'll learn a healthy way to eat to gain. He'll still be eating a whole lot more food than you do, but he won't be eating the junk.

HTH,

Angela
 
Wow, thanks Angela! DH used to use that Weight Gainer 2000, and he would add strawberries and bananas to it to taste a little better. So, it was more like, weight gainer 2200, but at least some of it was healthy, haha! Maybe this will help him get to be more healthy. And help him to gain the right kind of weight.

Kathy
 
Hey Kathy,

Hope he'll be interested in the program... there are a lot of amazing success stories. And if he does it, he'll only have one "free day" a week, so that'll help keep things peaceful at home! ;-)

Angela
 
Kathy,

Men don't carry babies and go through labor either. I think we're still being punished for Eve eating that @#$%ing apple! LOL

DH and I have totally different tastes. He doesn't have a sweet tooth at all and eats pretty healthy for the most part. Neither one of us likes fast foods except an occasional Taco. I sure am glad he doesn't like ice cream, though. That would be tough to watch.

Edited to say, I think I'd worry more about his smoking if he does it on a regular basis although there's probably not much you could do about that either.
 
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