<--will leave <--speak to explain what's going on with df
<--knows you all will have some good advice
let's just say that this whole mess was partially brought on by his mother who i feel really manipulated me. here's the *short* story: she knew we were going to vegas for vacation in november. df had told me that he didn't want anyone from his family coming, he really wanted it to be a "me and him" thing (he's super private). so, i never said anything. i figured he would tell them when it was too late for them to make a reservation but before we went. anyway, i spoke to his mom on the phone the other day. just your basic hello, how are you. during the convo, SHE FLAT OUT ASKED ME if we were getting married in vegas. i had two choices, tell her the truth and beg her not to tell df or lie to her and have her be pissed at me for lying. so, i told her and BEGGED her not to say anything. she promised she wouldn't. you can guess what happened next. not only did she tell him i told, she reamed him for not inviting them.
i feel manipulated because she figured i wouldn't lie to her if she came out and asked me. i feel like she put me in a really bad position. i am also pissed off because she promised me she wouldn't say anything to him. then what does she do...run and tell him.
now the totally sucky part. df is saying if he can't trust me and i can't respect his wishes, that is something he needs to consider when he thinks about getting married. he doesn't even want to discuss vegas and says we're not going (i.e. not getting married). he is turning the whole thing around on me and saying it's my fault and it's this big sign of things to come (like i will never take into consideration what he wants or respect his wishes).
i am so incredibly pissed. he won't listen to me and he also says that the "story" i told him and what his dear mommy told him are not the same (*shocker*). funny thing is, he's totally not a mama's boy. in fact, her biggest complaint is that he never tells her anything and they hardly talk. now, all of a sudden, her word is gospel?!
oh, i am so pissed. the whole thing sucks. it has even got me thinking that she did this purposefully knowing how pissed he would be and hoping he would call off the wedding. maybe i am thinking too much, but that thought seems plausible to me.
df is truly a wonderful guy and i know he loves me but he can't see past his anger.
i have no idea what's going to happen. i am sure she has put all sorts of ideas in his head. i don't think it's that she doesn't like me, i don't think she wants her little boy to get married. she had to know how angry he would be if he found out she knew. I TOLD HER!!!
any opinions? advice?