When is it enough?

K

kristi

Cathlete
So I've lost all the baby weight from having my 2 kids and then an additional 5 more pounds for a grand total of 59 pounds lost. I'm only 3 pounds away from my "goal" weight. Today a guy friend from work, who is really sweet, innocently asked me, "When are you going to be done losing weight?" To be honest I don't know the answer to this question. Do I want to have muscle tone? Yes. Do I feel the need to look like Cathe? No, however she does look great. I also don't feel the need to be supermodel thin (not talking about Cathe). Would I like to have a 6 pack? Of course, who wouldn't. However I've always had a pooch even when I was really thin in high school so I'm pretty sure it won't be happening without a major overhaul on my body. Also I have stretch marks and loose skin from having my children and the lower abdominal area is not bouncing back. What guidelines do you follow on when it is okay to maintain and when you need to keep going? When is it enough? Do you shoot for aesthetic appearance, performance (for example running a race), or both?

Sorry for all of the questions.
 
Don't ask me:p I haven't figured that out yet. I wanna lose 10 more lbs. I imagine that I'll live out my days wanting to lose 10 more lbs.
 
I feel the same way. I don't know if I will be satisfied with the 3 pounds gone. Actually I'm not 100% certain what I am trying to achieve. I'll probably be forever saying I want to lose 5 more pounds.
 
I think it depends on your goals, and those can change from time to time. I started off wanting to be super skinny, did that, then I wanted to bulk up, did that, and then I decided to go for definition. Right now I am really happy with my weight and definition (yay, P90x) and can see myself just maintaining how I am now for a while.

That's my long winded way of saying I think you'll know when you're done and also know when you want to change it up.

Sparrow

My garden is filled with papayas and mangos. My life is a mixture of reggaes and tangos
Taste for the good life, I can live it no other way
- Jimmy Buffett
 
When I can look at myself in the mirror and think, "Dayum! I look pretty good!" Right now, I can think, "Hmmmm, not bad...if I could just get rid of this fat over here and over here, but I have muscle now so I'm going the right direction..." Of course, I will always wonder how I'd look if I lost just a "few more pounds". Maybe it's never over!
 
I think it's human nature to never be satisfied and try to better ourselves in SOME capacity. Who knows when it's enough but so long as you do not allow it get "out of control", I wouldn't worry about it.

I am always trying to lose the last 5-10 pounds myself. :p
 
Hi Kristi,
1st of all,congrats on doing all the hard work needed to lose 59#! That is great!!! I hope you give yourself LOTS of credit for that!

As far as 'when is it enough?" I like to ask myself a few questions:

How much of a difference will 3-5# make? (not just on how I look but on how I feel about myself.Sometimes it DOES make a difference, like durring bikini season, but in the winter...not so much.)

Am I willing to do the work and make the sacrifices to get to the "goal weight" or am I ok carrying the extra 3-5# and enjoying treats and not being obsessed? (Is weighing less but not having ice cream or chocolate worth it? uh..no! Do I want to spend extra time working out instead of with my kids? etc.)

Am I happy with the way my overall body looks? (Stop focusing on just the few "problem" areas and take in the whole picture, incl. health and body image. If dissatified with an area, I'll make a point to work harder on that part but not use the scale as a measure of success.)

Really, only you can decide when you are satisfied that you have done your best and are happy with the results. Unfortunately, we sometimes get obsessed with being "better" or "the best" and sometimes you just have to say: I'm happy where I am at! This is great for me!

Celebrate how far you have come & where you are!! If this is a healthy weight that you can maintain long term, then perhaps it IS enough. :) Hope this helps!
 
Hmmm that's a very interesting question. I know I'll never look like Cathe--no matter how much I lift my body just does not build muscle. I can increase muscle density, but I can't increase size.

As far as my weight goes, I consider my ideal weight 110. I don't panic if I get up to 115, but I definitely feel like I don't look good if I go as low as, say, 108. So I think setting a goal weight & sticking to that weight is a really good idea.

As far as actual exercise goes, I enjoy it & I enjoy pushing myself. Also I know I'm pretty limited when it comes to how much weight I can lift now & how much I may be able to lift in the future. So, I just do what's fun for me--I do high to moderate intensity cardio 4-5 times a week, & I do high intensity weight training 3 times a week. I'm happy w/my exercise routine, so I guess that's how I know it's not too much, not too little, but just right.

It's the Goldilocks routine. :+
 
I understand that at some times, goals that focus on weight or clothing size, or measurements are necessary, and even important, but when you pose the question like this, it implies that these are the ONLY goals one has for exercise, and that is short-sighted, in my opinion. What are you going to do when you get to your goal size/weight/measurements? How do you stay motivated to keep at this fitness thing then?

I think it's much more healthy to have performance related goals - you want to lift more weight, do more push-ups, do a pull-up, run in a 5k, run a 5k under 25 minutes, run a marathon, compete in a triathlon, etc. Then, you are NEVER done, as you can always strive to lift more, do more push-ups, run faster, become more flexible.

Know what I mean?

m.
 
This is a very interesting thread. Congratulations on losing 59 pounds!!

I was asked the same question by a co-worker after I lost 35 pounds. Actually I believe he told me that I could "stop" losing weight now. I never really had a goal when I started losing weight I was merely a partner in helping my twin sister lose weight. I was helping her through the first 2 weeks of her diet and then I figured she would be back to sitting on the couch eating cheese doodles. Unfortunately (fortunately!) this wasn't the case. She started dropping pounds and I was jealous and didn't want to be the "fat" twin so I kept at it too. I never had a specific goal in mind, never thought I want to lose 35 pounds...in fact...I'm not even sure how much I really lost. I didn't weight myself until I was about 3 weeks into the whole thing. I got down to a size 6 which was thrilling as I had never been a size 6 before. It look me a year to lose the weight and then I guess I just stopped weighting myself. I had come to the point that the scale didn't matter it was how I felt, looked and that I was getting myself healthy.

It's been 7 years since I lost the weight and it's been quite a journey. I have gained some and didn't fit into the size 6 jeans anymore and then found Cathe and my boot camp classes and started focusing on eating more cleanly. I'm in a size 8 now and that's fine for me. I'm not a numbers girl. I don't look at the pounds every day on the scale, I don't count grams or calories or how much protein I need. I don't know if I need to lose 5 pounds but I do know that I am healthy. Someone in my boot camp class last night told me that it looked like I lost more weight. The funny thing is I not trying to loss weight anymore. I just trying to live my life. This is my lifestyle and nothing will change that.

My advice is too enjoy the 59 pound weight loss. You've done something that many people want to do but can't. Decide if the numbers are worth it or if you want to be healthy. Realize that is it a journey and one worth taking. It is your life!
 
The above is an excellent response. Thinness for its own sake is an empty goal and will not make you happy. Personaally, I 'aint giving up chocolate, ever. Optimal health while you feel good in your skin is in fact what you should aim for, and it does not have a number attached to it, just a gut feeling. Comments like those from your co-worker will also telll you when you have reached it. Have you considered that he or she was paying you a compliment? in their opinion, you already look good, and losing more would jeopardise that. Just a thought.....

Clare
 
For me, knowing when to stop was when I fit into my prepregnancy clothes comfortably again. I try not to step on the scale once I lost my weight from my last preg. so as long as my clothes fit I'm good. If they start getting tight I really watch what I eat. It seems like you are at a good spot. If you want to loose that last 3 pounds, go for it! But it sounds like you would be okay with yourself if you stopped now. Also, we all (most) have stretch marks from having a baby or 2, there will never be anything to fix that(unless plastic surgery is an option for you) I would wear them with pride- I do- I have 2 healthy beautiful children and if that's the trade off, I'd willingly do it again! Again, as long as I fit comfortably in my clothes pre pregnancy I'm good,(they were a size 4.) I think that answers all the ?'s :)
Deanie:)
PS last preganacy was almost 7 years ago and I'm still a size 4. I try to eat as clean as possible.
 
Congratulations on the #59!!! That is a wonderful feat in and of itself!!

I know that for myself, enough will be when I have firmly entrenced myself in the "Healthy" BMI scale. I started out at 250.5 lbs and in the "Severely Obese" category. I am now (after 68 lbs later) in the "Overweight" category. Another 20 or so lbs and I will be "Healthy" and at the lowest weight I have ever been since being about 10 yrs old. For my height and body type (large boned) that should put me into either size 8 or 10, I am not sure, but will be happy either.
 
Hi Kristi, congratulations on your 59-lb. weight loss! It's great how you're asking yourself all these questions. You know your body very well and I admire how you're trying to figure out when it's enough. It's so easy to get trapped into a certain way of seeing and thinking -- "I have to be X lbs. to be happy", or "I have to lift X amount of weight to consider myself strong", etc.

For me, it's okay to maintain when I get my endurance back. I work out in cycles, and usually after a long bulking cycle, my endurance is shot. I'm strong but I can only last for a short time. So I switch to endurance training, and I set goals for it. Once I reach those goals, I think it's okay to maintain.

When is it enough? Like I said, I work out in cycles, and every cycle has a goal. So in that sense, I'm never satisfied. I'm constantly trying to do something, to recover something (flexibility, cardiovascular endurance, muscular endurance, strength...) because if every cycle has its target goal, other parts of my training tend to be set aside. However, before Cathe I would never wear shorts, except around the house or in bed. Like you, I have stretch marks and loose skin. I have varicose veins, too. I'm just about cursed with whatever goes down the crap shoot of life. But lately I've been buying pairs of shorts and wearing them a lot. So I guess you can say I'm finally comfortable in my own skin. And that's enough. :)

Sorry this is long.

Pinky
 
I agree with Amy - I go by BMI. I'm around 150 lbs. and at 155 I would have a BMI of 25, and that would put me into the overweight category. So I work hard to stay where I am. About 4 years ago I lost 40 lbs. so I'm constantly arguing with my body and trying to keep it on the straight and narrow - as so many have discovered losing the weight was the relatively easy part, keeping it off is very difficult. I kept waiting for the time when my body would "get used to" my new weight, and I would no longer want to eat as much, but that hasn't happened! SIGH. So, for me, although I would LOVE to be a size 6 or whatever, I'll really just be happy if I can maintain my size 10-12. Of course I keep on trying new things, a lot of folks on this website have really great sensible suggestions about nutrition, and I always keep on trying. Maybe SOME day I'll turn into a naturally thin person LOL... Anyhow congratulations on your HUGE weight loss, that is a great accomplishment!
 
Congrats Kristi on your incredible weight loss!!! I know how you feel about enough...I have sucessfully kept off 35 pounds for over a year now...but if the scale creeps up even a pound or two I tend to feel bad about myself....x( I was trying on jeans today at a store and the salesperson pointed to what I was wearing to show another customer the style of jeans she was interested in. The customer said how she thought they would fit her, too... she said she had larger thighs and needed a fuller fit...I told her that I had the same problem of larger thighs...she laughed and said how tiny she thought I was... I would have considered her to be smaller than me...but we ended up with the same size jeans...So maybe I have a distorted picture of how I look...I believe that it is hard for people who have lost a lot of weight to think of themselves as smaller people than they were:) ...Hence the reason we never know when enough is enough....

Try to focus being able to wear the clothes you want, do the things you want to do, be as healthy as you can, and balance that with the life you want to lead..:D

Good luck in your quest for enough...
Debra
 
Thank you everyone for your encouraging words! You all are so sweet and have so much wisdom to share.

Lately I've noticed that I am not so focused on what the scale says, even though I do weigh myself more than I probably should, but more on performance. Also, I've noticed that with my running (training for a race) I'm more apt to eat better to fuel my runs to make them better. For me focusing on something more tangible than a number on the scale has tremendously helped with my weight loss and even my self esteem. I'm always trying to find something to keep me motivated and for the past 7 months it has been running and what I can accomplish with it. I also want to be healthy so I can do things with my kids.

I guess what my co-worker asked me yesterday, which he meant it as a compliment, really made me put my weightloss journey into perspective and realize what is most important to me.
 
Kristi--it's nice to "see" you around. I have to agree with all the ladies who have posted.

I would definitely take what your co-worker said as a compliment!
 
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