What has happened to the RSVP??

delfin

delfin

Cathlete
Has anyone else noticed that people seem to have forgotten what RSVP means? Mild rant here, but anytime I have a party, or one for my kids, there are always people who never RSVP. Then when I call, they always give some lame excuse like, "Oh, I've just been so busy." Lately, I haven't even bothered calling the no-responders, I just assume they're not coming. My daughter is having a slumber party tonight, and of course, there's a no-responder. If she shows up, do you think I should say something to the parent, like, "Oh, I thought she wasn't coming, because you didn't RSVP?"
 
Yep. Definetely say something. Be like, "oh, I'm so glad you came. I never heard from you so assumed you weren't going to be able to make it".
People are so rude. I agree. No one RSVP's anymore. It sucks!

Allison
 
I think a comment like that is fine. I can't stand how "I'm busy" has become the catch-all excuse these days. Everyone is 'busy.' That's no excuse for rudeness.
 
I haven't tied this yet, but a woman told me to put "regrets only" after the RSVP. That way if people can't come they have to call you, but if they are going to make it you're already under the assumption that they are going to make it.
But I hear ya on the RSVP thing, it drives my crazy. I think it's incredibly rude to not RSVP. Oh, and family members are the worst offenders, usually.

Kathy
 
>I haven't tied this yet, but a woman told me to put "regrets
>only" after the RSVP. That way if people can't come they have
>to call you, but if they are going to make it you're already
>under the assumption that they are going to make it.

I always thought that was a bit odd. I mean, the people who aren't planning on going would be more apt to be the ones who 'forget' to respond, while those who are planning on going would be more willing to make the committment by responding.

Unless it's a huge shindig, I think asking those who are coming to confirm their presence might be a better idea (I know it's not custom, but so what?).
 
>a woman told me to put "regrets
>only" after the RSVP. That way if people can't come they have
>to call you, but if they are going to make it you're already
>under the assumption that they are going to make it.

My 7 year old daughter received a "regrets only" invitation to a bday party. I RSVP'ed anyway that we were coming. It just seems uncomfortable to me to NOT RSVP. After the party I was picking up my daughter and I asked the mom how it went and she said "Well, it went fine, but we had a 4 more kids than I expected, they didn't RSVP". So she put "regrets only" but expected people to RSVP. I didn't know her well enough to explain what happened. I just smiled and shook my head.
 
Oh that makes me soooo mad. I had like 6 extra kids show up to DS's party. Luckily I had made extra goody bags but I was 1 short so I had to explain to DS that he needed to not get one. Now when you are 6 getting a goody bag is important stuff.
LD
 
>> So she put "regrets only" but
>expected people to RSVP.

That's just ignorant. Sounds like she doesn't know what 'regrets only' means?
 
I love your idea, Kathryn. "Acceptances only" might work. I also think it's a great idea to give an email address. People may not have time to chat on the telephone, but everyone has time to send a one sentence email. No excuses.
 
I've started having my phone number and email that they can RSVP to. It seems like more people find the time to email then call.
 
Email is a good idea. I have to admit I'm guilty of this--sort of b/c I'm busy but not--I just don't know what my schedule is from week to week so I don't know until the last minute whether I can make an event. So by the time I get around to the RSVP it's too late.
 
I think email is a good idea as well. If someone doesn't want to go, for whatever reason, they might feel more comfortable emailing a short reply, rather than calling.
 
This is a big rant for me as well..

I remember when we got married sending out the invitations w/ the little envelope ( already w/ a stamp) and an RSVP card to be mailed back to us for head counts.

It was amazing to me how many people couldn't figure out how to check off the box on whether or not they were coming and send it back. What amazed me was that this was coming from people who were supposedly of higher social/monetary status.

Guess it goes to show you money doesn't buy class.

Take care, Lynn M.
 
I hate people not RVSPing as well. When we had a big party for DS' First Communion a few yers ago only 2 of my family members bothered to RSVP. I emailed people and then some didn't even respond to that! And then on the day of the event everyone showed up - even the people who hasn't bothered to RSVP! When I jokingly brought it up to one of my sisters who didn't respond she said "I figured you knew we would come." Argh! }(

Sue
 
Oh, this is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. I've resigned myself to making as many loot bags as there are kids invited to my DD's parties, because the majority of them don't RSVP and then you're stuck.

It's just plain rude. Do these people not realize that you're basing food, games, everything on how many people will be there?

And I think that saying something like that is perfectly acceptable.
 
I've gotten a few email rsvp. I like them because I can e-mail someone anytime, you can't rsvp by phone at midnight or 6am, which is when I usually remember to do it! As much as I hate to say it, sometimes a rsvp can lead to a 15 min. conversation which I may not have had time for (walking out the door). I would give people the e-mail option.

Diane
 
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