weight...so distraught.

The other thing...

When we quit doing something that someone else still does (like smoking), the other person tends to suddenly feel **judged**. Does that make sense? Like suddenly you are judging them because they are still doing something that you hated so much, you put yourself through hell to stop doing (I know, I use to smoke and quitting is by far the hardest thing I ever did). My sister currently hides the fact that she still smokes from me...she doesn't want me to know her last attempt failed (which breaks my heart). So, she sneaks off to smoke. She forgot that I still have a nose!

Same with drinking...and I had the conversation with my brother! I do take a drink from time to time but adds up to about 3-6 drinks a year. I chose this route because #1 I have solid fitness goals (blanket answer) and #2 even one drink washes away my "fit" feeling. ANYWAY...my brother told me that he feels I judge him because he still drinks. I asked him what I have ever said or done to imply that I was judging him and through our conversation, he realized I was doing nothing...it was the simple act of my chosing NOT to drink that made him feel judged!

Did I just get WAAAAY off topic??

Try to relax, Diva. Stay true to your routine and your belly will melt! Review your goals to stay on track!
 
Diva - Huge congratulations to you for quitting smoking! What an accomplishment. You have accomplished the single best thing you can do for your health, and you should be so proud of yourself. Way to go!

I have seven brothers and sisters, several of whom offer a constant stream of judgment about how everyone else in the family looks, behaves, makes life decisions, etc. My "favorite" was when one of my sisters, who used to be bulimic, has turned her life around and is now healthy, runs, etc. Someone else said, "Yeah, it's great that she's doing this, but why do you suppose she still has all that cellulite if she's running so much?" I wanted to scream when I heard that. Here is someone who has made so many positive changes, finally feels good and is healthy, and they criticize her for having cellulite. Unreal. I am currently 8 months pregnant with my first child at the age of 39, my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer but thankfully is in full remission as of a month ago (hurrah!!!), and yet just today I was criticized for having gained 30 pounds. Got to hear all about how SHE only gained 15 and was back into her pre-pregnancy jeans 2 weeks after giving birth. Whatever. I feel healthy and, more importantly, grateful that my husband and baby are healthy. If my thighs are bigger than I'd like right now, big deal. They get me from point A to point B, and can do so rapidly, so I love them for that no matter how big they are.

As my mother-in-law, who's a PhD psychologist, says, "Try to remember that whenever someone judges another person, they're trying to solve their own problems through other people. It has nothing to do with whomever they're judging." It's hard to remember this because criticism hurts, but I think there's a lot of truth to that. As much as it's possible, please remember this and know that they have some problems if they are talking to you that way. Their problems are not your problems, no matter how hard they try to make this the case.

Take care, and again, congratulations. :)
 
I am so sorry for you. Dr. Robin on Oprah's XM channel was just talking about this today. These sorts of words hurt us so deeply. She was speaking of a study that researchers have done that show that harsh words from family and peers is the main driving force behind child weight gain and high blood pressure; this spills over into adulthood. :eek:

Listen, I too have been wounded by my family's words and I understand your feelings. I think the best way to deal with this is to make your boundaries very clear with your father and let him know that these comments hurt you and you will not allow him to talk to you that way any longer. I have learned to limit the access that my parents have to my life as a result of years of verbal/emotional abuse.

Also, please read the book, "Have you felt like giving up lately" by David Wilkerson. It will also help you.

xoxo, neicebug :)
 
Some people, usually from the older crowd, only associate exercising and eating healthy with wanting to have a killer body. They don't understand that there are alot of reasons to exercise and eat healthy...like for stress relief, feeling good, lifting your mood, giving you energy, strength, and stamina, not to mention to be able to live longer better. When an older man makes a comment like your father did to you it usually means he is of the opinion one only exercises and eats healthy if you're trying to lose weight or/and have a killer bod and there can't really be any other reason.

So, in the end, you are the one that will be the winner cuz you'll be much more healthy than he'll be.....unless you can start to change how he looks at exercise and eating healthy, and convert him. Wouldn't THAT be something!!
 
KatieSee, I have read and heard SEVERAL places that OFTEN a woman with a low body fat will gain more weight while pregnant that a heavy person...or someone who already has sufficient body fat levels. It makes sense if you think about it...think of what the womans body is supposed to do, look back 300 years. Our bodies store the extra fat so whe have it for the baby. If we don't already have enough body fat, our body will instinctively store it because it detects a **situation**.

The point...you most likely stored more body fat during your pregnancy because you didn't have much to begin with. SHE (whomever that may be) most likely did not gain too much weight or store extra body fat because she had enough already. I know you said she was a size 2 but that doesn't mean she is fit and doesn't have more bf than she should!

When woman say "I gained 12 pounds and lost it all before leaving the hospital" I hold my head high and proud and say "I was 4'11, 160+ pounds and it took me a safe 5-6 months to get back in shape".

So glad to hear your DH is in remission!!

Congtratulations on your baby!

Oh, and skinny people have cellulite, too! It's not a "fat" thing, it is almost all genetics!
 
Diva,

Try not to let anyone make you feel that way. Rise above that. You can make yourself feel horrible or wonderful, by just acting that way. Act as if nothing is getting you down, and soon nothing will get you down. If you feel sad and act on it, then you will be sad, if you feel happy and act on that, you become happy. Get my drift? I know, easier said than done. I have my moments too.

Sometimes people say things that are so hurtful. I don't know if they do that on purpose, or if is way beyond them to realize what they've just done.

Congratulations! I'm so proud of you for taking steps to be a healthier person. I think A-Jock is right. You've probably built muscle. Continue what you are doing, don't let people get you down, and let us know how your doing. We'll all encourage you, cause you are worth it.

Your doing a fantastic job!

Janie

The idea is to die young as late as possible

www.picturetrail.com/janiejoey

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