venting :(

L

LisaMarie

Cathlete
Sorry about this negative post---I'm just at a loss on how to gain some control. Here's the deal: Pre-pregnancy, I was eating really, really well. I know how to eat right and always told myself I would provide the healthiest environment for my unborn child. However, for the past few weeks I've been struggling so much with eating good foods. On average, I end up eating 200-500 calories each day of completely unhealthy foods. The rest of the day is good. In the past few days, I've eaten an entire bag of chocolate robin eggs (told myself when I bought them that they were for my husband..ha!)!! I just got finished eating about 300 calories worth (after I was so proud about my turkey burger, lettuce, and apple lunch) and feel like crap. If my stomach settles in the next couple hours, I'll try to jump on the treadmill.

On the brighter side, I've been working out, although not as much as I used to. I average about 5 hours a week. I'm happy as ever to have our first baby, but I've been really down about the fact that I don't have a job right now (my job was eliminated in January). I know that once I start to show, it's going to be even more difficult to find something. I've always been proud of how fast I moved up in my career and work was so important to me. Now it feels like the ladder has been pulled out from under me. I know that if I had a job, I wouldn't have this food problem. It's just way too easy to graze all day when I'm at home. I've easily put on 5-8 pounds in my first 10 weeks. x(

I feel 1) such guilt for feeding my baby things that I know are unhealthy and 2) mad as heck at myself because this food thing isn't helping the fact that my jeans are already tight (through the legs/butt more than the waist).

Sorry for such a lengthy, depressing post. Anyone else been in a similar situation?

Lisa
 
Oh Lisa, Lisa. I'm in a similar boat.

Pre-preg I was a whole-grain, lean protein, produce fanatic. You couldn't get me near processed food with a 10' pole. For some reason this food has lost ALL its appeal the last couple weeks. All of my favorite foods make me want to vomit. So I eat what I'm hungry for whe I'm hungry for it. Today it was pizza at lunch. Yesterday I did the unthinkable and ate a cheeseburger from Burger King. I have not ate food like this in years. Wanna know the REALLY wierd thing? I am LOSING weight!!! Before I felt so nauseous I worked out 6 days a weeks, following rotations, religiously. So far this week I've done 2 circuits. If I ate like this before getting preg and did not work out (shoot, even if I worked out!) I'd have gained 10 lbs by now.

I talked to my NP about it Wed. and she said she could care less what I eat right now because she knows I'll get back to my healthy habits as soon as I get feeling better, presumably the 2nd trimester. She even gave me a (totally awesome) pb cookie w/ chocolate chips!

Feel free to vent away, woman! I'll be right here with ya!
 
lisa, with my first i gained 10 lbs the first trimester. my diet mainly consisted of sugar cookies and banannas. normally i eat very healthy too. i did much better the rest of that pregnancy and ended up with minimal weight gain and a fit pregnancy. 1st trimester is awful, though. i am quite sure hormones are behind a lot of what you are feeling, not that it makes it better. if you can do one thing, try to give yourself a break and know that in less than 40 weeks, it will all be worth it. hope this helps, and vent away
 
Morris, Your post cheered me up too!
I have got some major preg hormone weepiness going on tonight!
We went to a funeral today for my sister's friend's mom (unexpected) - maybe that set it off.
I felt pretty good earloer today and really wanted to WO tonight. Not gonna happen though. I hate feeling like this.

First trimester will be over before I know it and you'll have to PULL me off of my step and weight bench!
 
Oh Lisa,
Please try to go a little easier on yourself. It sounds like you're in your first trimester still, and now having been through it, it's SO hard to control! Don't beat yourself up about eating some crap. I think, on the whole, if you're eating more good food than unhealthy food...AND you're also still working out, you're in great shape!!!

As for the weight gain...
I put on 7 lbs in my firt 12 weeks. I'm now 23 weeks, and have only put on a total of 10 lbs. Some women gain differently, and your body will gain what it needs when it needs it. So please don't let anyone (includin you!) tell you that you've gained too much or too little.

You'll balance out, I promise. And I've found that working out gives me a feeling of control that I don't feel like I have in regard to anything else happening with my body at this point.
 
Thank you all for your thoughtful words and wisdom! Right before supper, I was able to get in a 4 mile walk on the treadmill (it took me an hour though!), which picked up my spirits a lot. The craziest thing is that I actually enjoy eating fruit a lot more than the "fake" sweets, and I have lots of fruit in the house, yet I still resort to the candy! x( I'm now banning all Easter candy from the house. }(

It makes me feel a lot better to know of others who also gained more than the "recommended" 2-4 pounds during the first trimester. I think I'm falling into the "first-pregnancy-read-all-that-you-can trap" and it's messing with my mind.

Kate, I hope you start to feel better soon! I'm happy that my nausea is starting to subside (though the worrier in me says "is something wrong with the baby? I don't feel as sick anymore???").

thanks again....hope you all have a nice weekend!

lisa
 
The first trimester is survival mode and frankly I don't know where they even get that 2-4lb thing, because everyone I know gains more because they are sick and can only eat what they can eat.

If it makes you feel better, I'm barely 15 weeks and I've already put on about 20 lbs (yes,I feel like a cow) but this is my 7th child and that is typical for me. I'll gain a lot during pregnancy and lose it all while nursing post partum--just my pattern.

Don't panic--the 2nd trimester gets better and it's easier to eat healthy.

I don't have any advice about the career woes. I'm a home school mom and not really on the fast track to anywhere:p. I'm sure everything will work out for you.

Maggie:)
 
Lisa, Congratulations!

The 1st trimester is awful mentally and physically. You may not feel like it but you're doing great so far. It's a real challenge to keep the energy to workout and avoid junk -- I struggled too and gained 10lbs but the gain slowed in the 2nd tri when my energy and motivation came back.

Girl, ya gotta be your own best friend, it really helps get you through. Just think, you could have eaten an entire bag of those eggs, but you stopped -- that's great!! esp considering how you're feeling. :)

When you start to have a firm belly and are really showing it will make you feel less "fat"...it's truly awesome, and your workouts will keep you feeling healthy. Focusing on the baby helps too...and sometimes those cravings really are telling you what your body(and growing baby) needs. So don't feel horrible when you indulge from time to time, it's normal. Funny, I began to crave cottage cheese and citrus after my 1st trimester...I had NO chocolate for the rest of my pregnancy...didn't want it! Crazy as it sounds...it's true.

Best of luck with everything!

Steph

Mom to Sienna Joy - born 11/24/07
 
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