Uuuuuuuuugggghhhhh!!! DH vent!!

fit_fairy

fit_fairy

Cathlete
My DH is a wonderful human being, but,.... My feelings are a little hurt right now. Last month my family was trying to figure out what to do for my mom's b-day and I suggested (to him only) we have them over and do chili (his specialty that everyone loves). Well he kind of did that look, you know the one, like I don't really want to. So I said fine. Well it's one month later and his mothers b-day. Guess what we are doing Sunday? You guessed it, having his family over for chili!!! When he told me I had this look on my face and he made a comment about it. I said, you know why I have this look on my face, don't you? He said no and I said what was a month ago? He still didn't get it. So I told him. And I made it a point to let him know that it hurt my feelings, but said I'll get over it. Guess I just needed to vent!!

thanks for listening!

Catherine

http://bestsmileys.com/exercising/1.gif
 
"When he told me I had this look on my face and he made a comment about it. I said, you know why I have this look on my face, don't you? He said no and I said what was a month ago? He still didn't get it. So I told him."

Remember the Mars, Venus thing, you got to tell us guys, we don't get the hints!:)
 
Catherine - I'm right there with ya.... All my family is 2000 miles away...DH's mom is in same city. We talk to her 3x a week faithfully and see her every 2 weeks. Sunday was my moms birthday.... "Honey grab the extension so you can wish my mom happy birthday"... I got THE LOOK because golf was on and boy was I ticked & feeling hurt all day!
It is as Bill said a Venus Mars thing as my DH is Mr Wonderful when it comes to me.... Its OK to vent! :7
 
Catherine, I hate to admit this, but I'm guilty of the same kinds of things. Both families drive me crazy to some degree, but when it comes down to it, I usually fuss a lot more over my family than I do over my DHs. My family gets so much more involved with each other. We take an interest in each other, and when we get together we really communicate and have fun. His family stands around and talks about how the traffic was and then everybody goes home. Nobody is really that interested in anybody else. I've been with my DH for 10 plus years, and I feel like they hardly know me at all. When it comes to them, I just don't feel like putting forth much effort. My DH gets angry at me for it, but his argument that "it's family" doesn't mean much to me. The feeling just isn't there.
Nancy
 
I see what you are saying Nancy. I enjoy being with my family more than his, but I would never dream of telling him no we can not have your family over. Which he didn't say no actually, his look said it all. I could have pushed the issue, but chose not to. We just went out to eat instead.

Catherine

http://bestsmileys.com/exercising/1.gif
 
Catherine, oh, I see! I thought it was just a question of his cooking for them, not a question of whether you would see them for your Mom's birthday. You mean you didn't even see your Mom for her birthday??
Nancy
 
{{{{{Catherine}}}}}

I totally understand your need to vent. That would've hurt me, too. Like another poster, we live very near DH's parents while my family is about 3 hours away. I personally spend a lot of time with his parents because they're elderly now and need a little more help, and they've had some health issues, too. Notice I said that "I" help, "I" spend time...DH is always working and he can't be there for them, and his siblings are scattered across the USA. This is really fine with me and I wouldn't have it any other way, but my own family definitely gets short shrift. My DH saw my family exactly twice last year and I missed a trip to Italy so I could nurse his mom back to health after surgery. So believe me, I truly understand the whole need to vent thing;) :* You come vent anytime so I can use your thread to do a little venting of my own...sorry}( :p :7
 
Nancy, sorry for the confusion. It was an issue of having them over and him cooking. I just don't think he felt like it. I could have cooked, but no one would have liked it LOL!! So we did go out for dinner. But it just bothered me that he tells me last night that he is having his family over for his mom's birthday.


Catherine

http://bestsmileys.com/exercising/1.gif
 
> And I
>made it a point to let him know that it hurt my feelings, but
>said I'll get over it. >


Sorry, but why is this OK?? I really hope your husband doesn't tell you to "get over it" when you tell him your feelings are hurt!!!:eek:
Was it you or him that said you'll get over it? Sorry if I am confused!}(

As far as the whole incident. I hate that feeling that one family means more than another. I guess for most couples it is always there. My family is completely crazy but still important to me. I am sure if you had pushed the issue with your DH he would have been amicable. Maybe he just didn't get how important it was to you...??
Or, maybe he just didn't feel like cooking chile that day..could be that simple...:p
 
Catherine,

Sometimes husbands don't realize they're being insensitve or hurtful. Maybe, he thought that your mother would have enjoyed doing something else more or would not have enjoyed eating his chili as much as going out to dinner? And, his mother gets a kick out of him cooking for her?

I guess I'm wired differently. My dh knows when my feelings are hurt or on the verge of being hurt. Even if my dh knew I was upset from my body language (cause he knows I'm so transparent), I wouldn't let him off the hook by saying fine. Oh, how he would rather I did! I'm not saying that I would accuse him of being insensitive or a jerk. I would most likely ask him why and let him answer before I accused him. :7 At least try to give him the benefit of the doubt in the moment by asking what he meant. Men usually don't remember things (even a day later) like women can. Most of the time he's thinking something totally different than how I first took it.

Blessings for a stress free, joyous birthday party for your MIL.
 
Men are so much different from women. But that's OK. Brings wonders in your life.

Often I suggest something, and the very next sentence that comes out of his mouth is a varying way of what I just said, but he feels (I think) that it was all his idea. Jeesh! I put that in his head in the first place!

But, he's mine, and sometimes I let him have that credit, just because, he's been very sweet to me. He bought us a Marcy Smith Machine. Can't complain now for a very long time. He also does all kinds of chores around the house that I don't know how to do. So I'm going to keep him.

Besides, he makes me feel good. (most of the time) We have our moments.

Janie

The idea is to die young as late as possible.

http://www.picturetrail.com/janiejoey
 
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