TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL

K

kandeycane

Cathlete
Hi everyone

Its been a while since i posted although i have been reading many posts regarding binging and overeating and being off track and out of control. For some reason, since early October i have been overeating at night, alot!! Yesterday afternoon i did MIS upper body and CTX 10 10 10 and i still pigged out on mounds and chips and candy and everything i could put into my mouth!! I was so stuffed when i finally went to bed at 2am :( I woke up this morning hating myself and feeling so gross i took 3 correctals to make myself feel better :(This is so embarrassing and humbling for me. I have worked hard for the last year trying to lose this weight.. I had gotten down to 179 in late sept.(i was at 214 in Jan!) and now i am tipping at 188 and its only Nov 9!! I do my workouts consistantly and have had these pitfalls before but only gaining like 3 lbs and easily bouncing back into control. But this 9-10 lbs i have gained recently is having a very negative effect, understandably so i guess. Anyway, I really need some encouragement from you guys if you have the time :) I know i want to be fit and healthy and look good.. but sometimes the "dark side" of me takes over and i just don't care at the time.Its so weird and unfair, i feel as though a switch has been turned off and i forgot all my efforts and i just don't care sometimes. This cooler weather makes me want to bake and eat all of it!! HELP :(

Candy
 
Hi Candy,
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. You have worked hard and you deserve a huge credit and congrats for all your control and strength. It seems like sometime when the body is loosing the lipid storage, at some stage it back-fires. Maybe you might want to be more gentle with yourself. Accept how you and your body are feeling. Have your goal in mind. And as you know if you don't follow your plan, then just gently, after you accept and understand your feelings and emotions, turn your attention to the journey you've decided to take. Think how you treat a tender child. Treat yourself that way! I think you've done wonderful. So you started feeling this way since October, that's not long. Life goes on. Pick up the pieces and proudly walk forward and don't look back to blame yourself. You have the rest of your life in front of you. And let each moment count. Give yourself a huge hug too. You've done wonders. And it's wonderful that you have kept your exercise plan alive.
Many congrats!
Take care.
:)
 
Hello Candy,

Reading your post has made you very dear to my heart because I have been there. Let me guess, about half way through you binge you realized you weren't even really tasting the food, then when it was over you realized it was o.k., but not worth the way it makes you feel afterwards. Like I said, I've been there.:) I'd ballooned up to 282lb and I was doing Cathe workouts on a 4 inch step. So you know my eating was out of control if I could do Cathe style workouts and maintain that weight.

The first thing I had to do was stop playing head games with myself. You say that in Jan you weighed 214lb and now you are at 188lb. That is one heck of an accomplishment even if some of the lbs have packed back on. Don't lose sight of that because no matter what happens from here on out, no one can take that away from you!:) Most folks on this board most likely knows how tough it can be to lose weight, so I say hold that head up high. It sounds like the eating has just started recently, so maybe there is something going on that is troubling you that is causing the over eating. Is there a worry or a change that is affecting you? I'm not asking to you post it on the board, but you know, just think about it and see if you can find what might be causing you to over eat. If there is a problem that an emotional issue that is causing you to overeat, the only thing I can suggest is that you confront the issue and deal with it head on, or find some other ways to work out that stress. If its not an emotional thing and it is simply a case of motivation starting to lag, then maybe you could do something for you and only you, to help you get that motivation going again. A new workout outfit? Or something like that.

I'm no doctor, I'm no therapist, but I am a person who for years have had to battle my weight because I would play all these head games with myself and all it did was cause me to feel depressed and 'less than' because I was so fat. I just don't want to see that happen to someone else.

Take care of yourself...you are not alone.


DeeDee
 
Hi Candy,

Feeling "out of control" with your eating HAS TO BE the worst feeling there is! I've been struggling also the last few months with some unhealthy eating patterns, and for the life of me I can't figure out why or how I could let it happen?!
There are several of us that post every Monday on a post titled, "weight loss check in" and it's great because even the weeks when you don't lose, you can discuss what's going on with you, your eating, etc., and you know that we understand because everyone there is trying to lose as well. I welcome you to check us out this Monday, and you can search back and find previous weeks and you'll see that there are MANY weeks that several of us have "fallen off the wagon," and we just get right back on with the new week.
In regards your night time eating, if it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen, so my only advice is to do what I'm currently doing and arm yourself with "less damaging" snacks. Toss out any candy, chips, cookies, etc., that are standing in your way, and replace them with snacks like baked tortilla chips and salsa, Jello fat free pudding cups, sugar free popcicles, (if you can handle it better than I) low fat ice cream like Healthy Choice, fruits of whatever types you enjoy, low fat animal crackers, and a really good one I've just found that will satisfy you when you "think" you want to snack: Diet Swiss Miss! Sip it slowly and you'll be surprised how satisfied you are 20min later when you finish the mug! Each envelope is only 25 calories and 0 fat, and if I'm really feeling a snacking weakness I'll get out the BIG mug and have 2 envelopes, and sipping those 50 little calories will save me from eating 200+ calories some other way! And it doesn't wear off quickly, kinda stays with you a while. :)
One other thing I've found helpful is to log on here or at diettalk.com when I feel that snacking urge. I'll get my mug of Diet Swiss Miss and log on here and an hour or two later, I've successfully gotten through the urge to snack and am ready for bed.
I hope I've given you some ideas, I know it's really hard, and when you feel like you've lost control it's even harder, but you have not lost control completely or you wouldn't have come here to post for help! :) Trust me, I know this! :) You are still in control of you and your eating, you've had a bad past few weeks, but who hasn't? By my calculations I should be about 150lbs right now instead of wearing 167 like it's some badge of honor! More like a badge of horror! But all we can do is pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and go on with what we know will get us our results! So please join us on the weight loss check in, it is really wonderful support and we can always use another voice to cheer us on! :)
So stop beating yourself up, your next meal is yet another opportunity to make good choices that will make you feel better and in control! :)

Donna

Fitness~ it's a journey, not a race!
 
Candy,

I am also very sorry you are feeling this way and having a hard time. I have been there and can relate to your feelings.

I have VERY slowly been gaining a better and more reasonable relationship with food. I was a chronic overeater. I would not stop eating until I was stuffed. It was not because I necessary liked what I was eating or was really hungry. The reasons go deeper.

I think you will have to try to figure out what your reasons for overeating are before you will have more control. For me, it was being away from my husband while in law school, being stressed by school, bored, and living with my parents and brother under one roof. My situation has now changed and I am much better able to control what goes into my mouth.

I agree with Donna's advice to toss all unhealthy, high-fat, high-calorie snacks. Keep good stuff on hand like carrots with low fat dressing to dip them in, fruit, nuts, and yogurt.

I wish you the best of luck and please do check in with the weight loss check in!

Linda
 
Also eat up with nice filling things like Cottage cheese (lowfat and nonfat, alternate so then the lowfat tastes like cream!) only if you like it. And ground turkey burgers (I just cooked my first today!) and other stuff you plan so you don't get into a peckish state!

I would have a very hard time with baking, having anything left at the end. I just don't do it. When treats are around me I eat them. But I still eat the stuff I plan each day. It crowds out the emptier calorie foods.

A few carrot sticks, turkey burger on whole wheat bread, with provolone cheese if you like salty things. How about a shrimp cocktail? A bunch of frozen precooked shrimp, just run cold water on them to thaw, dip in cocktail sauce. Make a list of really good for you foods. BodyRx is good for that, there are a lot of not-bad-at-all foods, easy to get and categorized well. It's so much like organizing closets and medicine cabinets!

Good books are as friendly as comfort foods! Try some sugar free cocoa...
I've been there too.
-Connie
 
[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON Nov-10-02 AT 02:30AM (Est)[/font][p]Candy,
I am sorry you are feeling bummed out:( Hang in there and don't look back. Look ahead as each day, each hour is a new day!!!!!! I think we all get into these spirals. I have been falling in and out of one lately too! I posted on here a couple weeks ago feeling bummed after a weekend of pigging out. The gals on this board made me feel so much better and gave me such good advice. The best advice I got was to fill up as Connie says on good food!!!!!!!!!!!! I took their advice and went and stocked my cupboards and fridge wtih healthy food. I have been pigging out now on cucumbers, carrots, yogurt, and protein bars. Go to your nutrition store and pick up some good protein bars you have never tried. Go to the grocery store and find some new snacks to spice it up a bit.

I think the holidays are really hard. There was so much Halloween candy at work this week I felt like throwing it out the window!!!!!!!! We just have to keep our head up, keep our bananas within eyesight and remember we are only human. I think you ahve made incredible strides since January and you shouldn't give up on yourself. Look deep inside, get out those Cathe DVDs and think positive!!!!!!!!!!

This is definitely a place to come when you feel like this!!!!!!! I have been feeling out of control lately too. Part of it has been PMS but part of mine was also a trip to the club scale where I realized I had only lost like 3 lbs and I had been eating clean and healthy and working out like crazy for 3-4 weeks uggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That and PMS put me in a downward spiral I am still trying to spin out of!!!!!!!!

I did CTX and PS today so it helped a bit!!!!!!!! Everytime I workout hard like that I think "I am going to be sooooo good from here on out.........."

Maybe you should also focus on planning your meals a bit for the next few days. Maybe if you buy some good stuff, plan the meals out it will be easier!!!!!!!!!!!

Keep your chin up and remember you have come a long way! Don't give up on yourself!!!!!!! You can do it!!!!!!!


-Pammer
 
Hi CANDY!!!
A few years ago I went on a total binging spree one week, and I have NO idea where it came from. Maybe because I was depriving myself of food that I hadn't eaten in so long (like cookies, and pies etc) but I ate a whole batch of cookies once and I felt like I was gonna barf!!

Hopefully it is just a phase like my episode was, I didn't like the overly stuffed feeling, and I went back to my normal routine.

Instead of high fat stuff, I do like to suck on hard candy (like Jolly Ranchers) or chew gum, because it keeps me preoccupied and I have less time to eat at the fridge...

You have made a great accomplishment so far, just think of staying on track the next time you feel out of control, how much your hard work has paid off, and really make sure you are actually hungry before you eat anything. I used to eat stuff w/o noticing that I wasn' t even hungry!
Jaime :)
 
You know its so wonderful to know i can come here and get support from you guys.. Bfj, Donna, Pammer, Jaime, Connie, Linda and DeeDee .. hugs to all of you for taking the time out of your busy lives to write some very encouraging words. I know i am not alone and others struggle with this at times too. I appreciate all the suggestions, even though i HATE most fruits and veggies, * i know i have to try to work on that* i will chose better foods to have those weak moments with. But i got the most out of your responses just hearing your kind words and that you have "been there" hugs and prayers

Candy
 
Candy,

Hi. I was reading your post and had to congratulate you on your weight loss and your honesty. Your post is the first step to getting back on track. But really what did you do that was so wrong? I mean, okay, you indulged yourself.......There is not one person on this entire site who can dispute that candy and sweets and fattening food taste good, and we all need it once in a while to keep our minds satisfied. Once your brain feels indulged, then you can incorporate the healthier foods back in. So you dislike most fruits? I love them in spring and summer but now that theyre becoming scarce and "not so fresh tasting", I have to improvise. Try freezing grapes, or adding Hershey's chocolate syrup(0 fat but high in sugar, so go easy) on top of a sliced banana. If you warm the syrup in microwave and then put overtop of the fruit, it's sooo yummy!Think chocolate covered strawberries~~~~~~~~~

Also my new favorite has been Zone protein bars in chocolate peanut butter. They have 15 grams of protein and @ 200 calories but are a great way to satisfy your sweet tooth and get some added protein. They are the best protein bars I've had, and I've basically tried them all.

I hope some of this helps and remember, DONT GET DISGUSTED FOR EATING SOMETHING THAT YOU FEEL YOU SHOULDNT. It will only "subconsiously" make you want it again 2 hours later. Just say okay, I deserved that but now my body deserves some indulgence now too, ....................And you'll know how to take it from there.

Love,
GN
 
Hey Candy! I was just going to post saying how wonderful it is to see all these cyber friends post such GREAT support to you! (You beat me to it!) Isn't this place the BEST? You can do it. Just get back to your good habits and you'll be reporting back soon some great results. Thinking of you!

Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH http://www.plaudersmilies.de/wavey.gif If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance...I Hope You DANCE!!!
 
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