The guilt factor

[pjlippert]

WHY are we cursed with endless guilt- ESPECIALLY the summer Mommy guilt!!!! Here are just a few examples.

I feel guilty sending my son to summer school (even though he loves it), regardless that I let him stay home on the days when he really doesn't want to go.

Then I feel guilty because if I do choose to TRY to get some work done while he's home that I should be spending all of that time with him.

I feel guilty because I'm not working at home but love spending time with my son...but still my computer is calling me.

Of course, the kids all go back to school on August 16 so of course I feel bad because maybe I didn't spend enough time with him during the summer! Oiy!!

Then back to feeling guilty because when I AM working! Ugh!!!

Okay- I've officially confused myself! I think I made my point. PLEASE tell me there are other Moms out there who experience the same thing.

I think the guilt is magnified by a factor of about a zillion given that his dad is only in town to see him for a few days once every 4-6 weeks. So, I get the Mommy/Daddy guilt combo!

Oh and for those of you inclined to flame me for this email -keep it yourself!! If you don't have something nice, don't say anything at all!

Seriously, how do you deal with this?? It's a bit different when he is in school because, well, kids have to go to school! But I do still have some guilt there as well! :

Thank you all for your support!!

Pam

 

[syzygy314]

Pam

I have no words of wisdom for you since I don't have children, but I understand guilt having been raised Catholic!

Sending you positive, healing energy!

 

[jaypea]

Pam,
I feel like that too (sometimes). Both my DH and I are teachers, so we work during the school year. We all spend our summers together. We have two boys, and they are 20 months and 5 years. There are days (like today), when I just want to rip my hair out (kids constantly at each other, screaming/
yelling/crying), and days when things are great. I also feel that the summer is coming to and end too quickly, and I want to make sure we all get the most out of it while we can. I get frustrated when the days are filled with the kids fighting (as mentioned above) or when there is nothing to do.
I think that the guilty feeling that women tend to feel is normal, but don't take it too much to heart. You sound like you are doing a great job with your son and with work. So, if you're doing the best you can (and you are), then that is what counts. So, this is how I deal with it....I recognize the guilt, acknowledge it, cancel it out by telling myself that I'm doing the best I can, and move on. It works for me.
Enjoy the rest of your summer!!!
-Jen

 

[pjlippert]

Hi gals!

Thank you very much for the words of encouragement! I guess it just gets a little bit worse as the school year looms ahead!! I'm not wallowing in guilt, it just seemed to hit hard today! Of course my son is acting really obnoxious and loud right now!! so suddenly, I don't feel quite as bad!!

You gals are sooo great!

Pam

 

[Bobbi-B]

A friend of mine who's also a mother once said, "Mother guilt... it's born right after the placenta!" In other words, we all have it!

 

[Ivy]

You are not alone. I feel this way all the time, I wonder if it is mainly mothers that feel this way. My husband seems to do just fine with being separated from the kids for a time.

 

[pjlippert]

Hi Bobbie-B---- LOL!! That line cracked me up!! Gonna send it to my gal-pals!
Ivey- I'm sooo glad to know I'm not alone! Oh, and I TOTALLY believe it is a Mom thing. His dad doesn't call just to say hi and doesn't seem too bothered by the fact that his son doesn't care if he talks to him! No guilt on his part at all!! Both amazing and sad at the same time!

Pam

 

[LasVegasFitGirl]

Guilt schmilt

What about OUR time...to keep OUR heads straight so we can better cope with out children and the daily stresses of life. What about shows like Biggest Loser when they're always saying they're overweight because they don't take care of themselves. I feel guilty, then I remember, I didn't hang around my mother growing up. I was rarely home. I was out riding my bike with friends, going to the park, whatever (In the days before game consoles). Mine are teenagers, but they never NOT had a parent there for them.