Thanks to the fit moms!
- Thread starter autumn
- Start date
Sheila Watkins
Moderator
Autumn,
I jsut read your post. I immediately started searching through the previous posts to find out what had happened. I am so sorry about the loss of your mother. Your comments about being there with her brought me to tears. I lost my mom to brain cancer when I was 17 years old. My memories of being with her when the end came will always be very vivid for me. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Hugs,
Sheila
I jsut read your post. I immediately started searching through the previous posts to find out what had happened. I am so sorry about the loss of your mother. Your comments about being there with her brought me to tears. I lost my mom to brain cancer when I was 17 years old. My memories of being with her when the end came will always be very vivid for me. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Hugs,
Sheila
MSJ
Cathlete
I've been thinking about you and praying for you, Autumn. When my mom died, not only was I grieving, but there was all this other stuff (accounts to clear and close, doctor bills to resolve, etc) to take care of and it was somewhat stressful. I hope you have a lot of "real-life" support.
(((hugs)))
Maggie
(((hugs)))
Maggie
FiddleFit
Cathlete
Autumn,
I missed your original post about the passing of your mother. I am so very sorry. Losing a parent is so difficult. Please take care of yourself and your family.
The point you made about it just being you and your mother at your birth, and at her death, was very poignant.
Take care,
Sandra
I missed your original post about the passing of your mother. I am so very sorry. Losing a parent is so difficult. Please take care of yourself and your family.
The point you made about it just being you and your mother at your birth, and at her death, was very poignant.
Take care,
Sandra
wendymin72
Cathlete
I too missed that post but I want to send my condolences. I know how hard it is to lose a parent. I lost my dad to cancer about 10 years ago. You will always miss her but the pain will ease and you will again be able to smile when you think of her instead of cry. Take it easy...it just takes time...
~Wendy~
I smoked my last cigarette on March 17, 2004 at 10:00 pm!
http://lilypie.com/days/050519/1/0/1/-5/.png[/img]
EDD: 05/19/05
~Wendy~
I smoked my last cigarette on March 17, 2004 at 10:00 pm!
http://lilypie.com/days/050519/1/0/1/-5/.png[/img]
EDD: 05/19/05
Oh Sheila, I am so sorry you lost your mom, especially when you were so young.
Maggie, I am so blessed with friends and my cousins. I have no siblings, well half-brothers from my dad’s first marriage but no relationship with them. My cousins just left yesterday. We spent so much time reminiscing and laughing. Their mother was my mother’s only sibling. We spent a great deal of time together. My friends… well friends are family you choose and they are awesome. But, it is cathartic to talk about this with people who are not grieving too. Does that make sense?
Sandra, Wendy, and Julie thank you so much!
My mother had scleroderma (http://www.synnovation.com/sclerodermafaq.html.). We knew she had raynaud’s, skin changes (hyperpigmentation, spider veins on her face and neck, recently calcium deposits), Sjögren’s syndrome, hyptothyroidism, difficulty swallowing, the list goes on. Mom had several isolated episodes of "stomach" pain, nausea, and diarrhea/constipation over the last 2 or 3 months. She
attributed it to her IBS. She has been fine other than those episodes
which lasted usually one day. The Saturday before she passed away we went to Mass together, she came over afterwards and watched TV with Sydney, and she ate dinner with us.
Sunday she began complaining of her stomach but thought it was just IBS again. Monday she still was complaining, but she didn't feel it warranted a visit to the doc, especially since she had an appt. Tuesday the 26th. Tuesday AM she called and had decided she needed to go to the ER.
When I arrived they said she was in septic shock. She was alert, awake, and oriented... talking to us. She said her entire tummy AND back hurt. She looked terrible. I KNEW she was very, very sick. I called my DH in Chicago and asked him to come home ASAP because I didn’t think she would live. He had driven there luckily. She was in the process of being transferred to Barnes-Jewish in St. Louis. I stayed with her until the ambulance picked her up.... told her I loved her... Sydney told her she loved her... mom said she loved us... and that was the last time we spoke. We talked with BJC and she was on her way to the OR within 10 minutes, I was still
here trying to get ready (difficult with Matthew in Chicago, the kids,
etc.). The doctors weren't sure if it was the scleroderma, which would mean there was nothing they could do, or something that could be
surgically corrected.
On the way to St. Louis, I received the call that her bowel was basically dead except for a few inches. The options were to let them remove the bowel, which would not have left enough bowel and you can't live without bowel, or let them close her up and keep her comfortable. If they would have done the surgery there was less than a 10% chance she would survive the surgery. She would have been on dialysis because there was not enough bowel left. We chose to keep her comfortable. I spent 4 hours with her on the vent... she never regained consciousness. Matthew was there, but he had Jordan so we took turns sitting with her. Finally, Matthew and I discussed how upset she would be for being on that vent. So, they discontinued it and she was gone within 10 minutes. She was in the hospital just less than 12 hours. We made the right decision, she would never have made it through the surgery.
I just can't get my mind around everything that happened. I wish I would have arrived at the hospital with her, so I could have had one more moment. But, when you love someone there are just never enough moments. I know I said this already, but motherhood is such a special gift. Moms are the only ones with us from the very, very beginning. I am very thankful I was there at the end because not everyone has that opportunity. Sorry to ramble! Again, thank you for letting me talk this out!
Maggie, I am so blessed with friends and my cousins. I have no siblings, well half-brothers from my dad’s first marriage but no relationship with them. My cousins just left yesterday. We spent so much time reminiscing and laughing. Their mother was my mother’s only sibling. We spent a great deal of time together. My friends… well friends are family you choose and they are awesome. But, it is cathartic to talk about this with people who are not grieving too. Does that make sense?
Sandra, Wendy, and Julie thank you so much!
My mother had scleroderma (http://www.synnovation.com/sclerodermafaq.html.). We knew she had raynaud’s, skin changes (hyperpigmentation, spider veins on her face and neck, recently calcium deposits), Sjögren’s syndrome, hyptothyroidism, difficulty swallowing, the list goes on. Mom had several isolated episodes of "stomach" pain, nausea, and diarrhea/constipation over the last 2 or 3 months. She
attributed it to her IBS. She has been fine other than those episodes
which lasted usually one day. The Saturday before she passed away we went to Mass together, she came over afterwards and watched TV with Sydney, and she ate dinner with us.
Sunday she began complaining of her stomach but thought it was just IBS again. Monday she still was complaining, but she didn't feel it warranted a visit to the doc, especially since she had an appt. Tuesday the 26th. Tuesday AM she called and had decided she needed to go to the ER.
When I arrived they said she was in septic shock. She was alert, awake, and oriented... talking to us. She said her entire tummy AND back hurt. She looked terrible. I KNEW she was very, very sick. I called my DH in Chicago and asked him to come home ASAP because I didn’t think she would live. He had driven there luckily. She was in the process of being transferred to Barnes-Jewish in St. Louis. I stayed with her until the ambulance picked her up.... told her I loved her... Sydney told her she loved her... mom said she loved us... and that was the last time we spoke. We talked with BJC and she was on her way to the OR within 10 minutes, I was still
here trying to get ready (difficult with Matthew in Chicago, the kids,
etc.). The doctors weren't sure if it was the scleroderma, which would mean there was nothing they could do, or something that could be
surgically corrected.
On the way to St. Louis, I received the call that her bowel was basically dead except for a few inches. The options were to let them remove the bowel, which would not have left enough bowel and you can't live without bowel, or let them close her up and keep her comfortable. If they would have done the surgery there was less than a 10% chance she would survive the surgery. She would have been on dialysis because there was not enough bowel left. We chose to keep her comfortable. I spent 4 hours with her on the vent... she never regained consciousness. Matthew was there, but he had Jordan so we took turns sitting with her. Finally, Matthew and I discussed how upset she would be for being on that vent. So, they discontinued it and she was gone within 10 minutes. She was in the hospital just less than 12 hours. We made the right decision, she would never have made it through the surgery.
I just can't get my mind around everything that happened. I wish I would have arrived at the hospital with her, so I could have had one more moment. But, when you love someone there are just never enough moments. I know I said this already, but motherhood is such a special gift. Moms are the only ones with us from the very, very beginning. I am very thankful I was there at the end because not everyone has that opportunity. Sorry to ramble! Again, thank you for letting me talk this out!
MSJ
Cathlete
Autumn--it sounds like you made good decisions for your mom's final hours. I had power of attorney when my mom was dying and had to make some tough decisions when her cancer hit her brain and she went into a coma. Thank you for sharing the details with us. I will continue to pray for you.
Maggie
Maggie
dananmis22
Cathlete
I am so sorry for the losses of everyone on this thread. My husband lost his dad two years ago to lung cancer (he smoked). He misses him and cries still, but he knows that he is loved and the God is always there when DH needs him. God is there for you know, so rely on him and let him carry you through this. hugs hugs hugs and more hugs!
Missy
Missy