Teenagers and cars

F

finsgirl

Cathlete
OK, I have a question for all you intelligent ladies. Actually, a few questions. If you have teenagers now, did you purchase them a car? If you don't have teenagers, do you think you would/will? Why or why not? Would you put stipulations on this responsibility (i.e. they pay for insurance or if grades slip, the car goes)?

Did you have a car of your own when you were a teenager? My mother didn't believe that teenagers should have cars so I bought my first car when I was 21 and got my first "real job".

Just curious about other people's view and experiences.


Angie
 
I didn't have my own car when I was a teenager. I drove my parents' car. And when I went off to school, they bought a new (used) car, and I got the old one to drive (they paid the insurance, but we girls are better risks than boys!).

My neighbors' grandson lives with them, and had been driving their car...until the transmission had to be replaced or repaired because of his driving habits (quick accelerations and fast stops). After that, grandpa put his foot down, and grandson is now mooching off of his other grandparents.
 
I did not have a car until my senior year of high school. It wasn't mine though - it was my parents' and I was just allowed to drive it to school, and to work. I had to drive to school senior year because I got out of classes an hour early, so I couldn't take the bus. So my parents were very kind to let me use one of their cars for school and work. I paid for gas, and I think that was it. There were no stipulations based on grades, because it wasn't like my grades were going to drop from driving to school and work. But if I got into any accidents (which I never have), or got any speeding tickets (which I did), I would have to pay for that myself.

In college, I didn't have a car during freshman year because freshies weren't allowed to have cars at my school. But after the middle of my sophomore year, I started living off-campus, so needed a car. My parents again let me use their car (same one from high school). I paid for gas and maintenance. They still took care of the insurance. Then, when I graduated from college, my parents sold me their car for $1, and of course I paid for gas, insurance, everything. Last year, that car blew a head gasket and left me stranded in front of a strip club in a not-so-great part of town while my husband was out of town for business. I was terrified, so the very next day, I bought a brand new car. :)
 
Well this is how it was done for me...

A car was never bought for me. When I turned 17 and got my liscense I borrowed my mom's car. Several months later my sister bought a new car so her old car was given to me. This car was my grandparents to begin with. They gave it to my sis when she turned 17...she is 6 years older than I am so this was an old car...1978 olds and I was driving it in 1990!! lol So basically I got a hand me down car...I was responsible for paying my own insurance, gas, etc. When I wanted a new car, I bought a used mustang that I purchased with my own money. I cashed in savings bonds that I had received as gifts over the years plus whatever other money I had saved up. Again, I paid for everything myself. The only things my mom did for me were--I was on her insurance policy so that I didn't have to pay an even more ridiculous rate by having my own policy and I was able to "make payments" on my insurance to my mom if I didn't have all of the money as soon as the bill came in. Bottom line though is that I paid for it myself.

I thought the way she went about it was fair. I would do the same with my son if DH agreed....as long as DS is a good, responsible teenager, that is...Oh, and as far as DS getting a "hand me down car", well, that was just the circumstance at the time so I doubt that would happen...He'd just have to buy his own car...

Wendy

6/13/05 Some new pics added!Check out pics of Joey's room in the "nursery" album!

http://www.PictureTrail.com/wendymin
 
I never had a car until after I graduated from college, when I could afford to buy one. (I put myself through school.) I didn't actually bother getting my license until I was 21, and then only so I would have IDs for the bars, lol.

My parents paid my insurance until I got my own car, but that was it. I drove their's very occasionally, but usually walked or took the bus. Needless to say, THOSE were the days of awesome buns, lol.

My son will be 16 in two years. If he is responsible, I will probably give him the car I am driving now (which is already 6 years old but it's a Honda and runs really well), because we live in suburbia and he goes to school in another district. It will make MY life easier, truth be told. I am not sure what I would require in return. Probably some contribution toward insurance, pay for his own gas and maintenance, and the stipulation that stupid driving and/or bad grades = the car reverts ownership.

Do you have children nearing driving age?

Marie
 
I didn't have my own car when I was a teenager. I was the oldest, so I drove the car that my daddy got when grandpa died. He died when I was 15. That car was driven by all three of us. A 1973 Grand Torino. I got my license in 1977, so it wasn't an old, old car but definitely not the sporty models some of my peers had. I was grateful for it though!! I worked after school and paid for gas. Daddy took care of the insurance and maintenance. I never wrecked that car but I wrecked daddy's (not to badly, one car accident and I went down a back street in town and didn't realize the road ended and went over an ditch into a parking lot and knocked the oil pan up in the engine). Never did see very well at night.:9

Fast forward to my two kids. The oldest, my son - his grandparents bought him a truck when he turned 16. It was a older model, nothing fancy. He paid the insurance and gas.

My daughter - same thing, grandparents put up the money for her car, it cost more than my son's. She wanted something newer so we had to take out a loan and she paid the payments. She drove this car through high school and almost made it through college when she totalled it last December. She could have been killed in that accident, thank God for airbags!!

She paid the insurance also most of the time. Her last year of college was rough, we took over insurance, etc., while she was student teaching because she couldn't handle that and a job.
 
Hi, Marie -

Yes, my oldest daughter is 15 and in driver's ed right now. I'm debating whether to get her own car. We are a one-car one-driver household right now. If something happened to my car, I would be out of luck. The pro is that it would definitely be more convenient if she had her own car. The con is I would never forgive myself if something happened. Unfortunately, the cost rests solely on me - her dad and grandparents are unwilling to help out. I made a deal with her earlier that I would match the money she would save this summer towards a car. But it's tough to get a decent job when you're 15. She had a great nanny position lined up for a family of 3 but they backed out because she didn't drive yet! So she's stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I really just want to fast forward past these teenage years. They're not bad kids - it's just the "rite of passage to adulthood" stuff is killing me. I have to do this all over again in a couple years when my youngest learns to drive. How does anyone survive this?!?!?!?!?!? x(

Angie
 
>Hi, Marie -
>
>Yes, my oldest daughter is 15 and in driver's ed right now.
>I'm debating whether to get her own car. We are a one-car
>one-driver household right now. If something happened to my
>car, I would be out of luck. The pro is that it would
>definitely be more convenient if she had her own car. The con
>is I would never forgive myself if something happened.
>Unfortunately, the cost rests solely on me - her dad and
>grandparents are unwilling to help out. I made a deal with her
>earlier that I would match the money she would save this
>summer towards a car. But it's tough to get a decent job when
>you're 15. She had a great nanny position lined up for a
>family of 3 but they backed out because she didn't drive yet!
>So she's stuck between a rock and a hard place.
>
>I really just want to fast forward past these teenage years.
>They're not bad kids - it's just the "rite of passage to
>adulthood" stuff is killing me. I have to do this all over
>again in a couple years when my youngest learns to drive. How
>does anyone survive this?!?!?!?!?!? x(
>
>Angie


You'll survive it Angie. I can't guarantee your hair will be the same color as it was before or if you will even have hair left
:+ but you'll get through it. The part about something happening... Angie you can't control that. When she is out on the road, you pray a lot and hope that what they have taught her in school in driver's ed and what you have taught her at home about being responsible is enough.

There is no way out of this I'm afraid. You will go to your grave worrying about your child through all aspects of their lives. Mine will be 25 and 23 this year. My oldest is married. But that feeling never goes away. You just learn to live with it and get use to going in and out of panic mode. Hang in there, there are a lot of us out there that have "been there, done that" and we'll talk to you anytime.

Oh and Angie, prepare yourself for that first day when they are sitting in the driveway just after you've brought them home from getting their license. They are grinning ear to ear. They crank it up and say I'll see you later mom. OMG... then they back out. I cried both times. Of course, I told them what time their vehicles had better be sitting in that driveway too!!
 
Agree it's the toughest thing and yes you do pray ALOT and give prayers of thanksgiving when they are home safe.

My ex nicely gave my daughter her old car because as a single mom 1 car.. it just didn't work otherwise. She had it at college this year and I certainly can relate to the AGING it does to you.

My son 16 can't get his license do to medical condition. We pray it will get under control and he will be able to drive. Of course then I'll worry even more.

one thing that is wonderful is CELL phones. Have them call when they arrive etc. It does put your mind at ease.

GOOD LUCK
 
I didn't have a car until I was a junior in college. I lived on a huge college campus and used buses and my legs to get where I needed to go.

Our almost 18 year old son has had a vehicle since he learned to drive. It's a hand-me-down from my DH. When he got a new one, he saved the old one in anticipation of our son learning to drive. I have to say, it has been quite liberating having him drive himself to all of the activities and functions he attends. He is getting ready to start college and will be a commuter, so there is no way he could go without. He's a safe and responsible driver, but putting your child on the road is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. As someone else said, THANK GOODNESS for cell phones!
 
I didn't have a car till I graduated from high school. I drove my parents car all through school. I didn't have to pay the insurance until I had a accident on ice one morning. They didn't blame me because it wasn't my fault and they were happy I was safe. But I had to pay them weekly when I got paid for the high insurance.

I have boy and girl twins who are about to turn 14. We are trying to prepare ourselves financially and mentally. It would be very hard for boy and girl to share a car. Their dad says they will get a job at that time and pay their own insurance as he did. But we have 2 years before this which will fly by. But them getting a brand new car is out of the question. Teenagers bang and scratch up cars and at first are not experienced with a car. A descent used reliable car will be sufficient for a few years of their life.


I don't know whether to dread teenage life or savor it.
 
I am hoping to get Ali licensed and in her own car very soon. I'd love an older, reliable Civic or something like that. She wants to take two classes at the Community College and get a job and it would make my life easier for her to have one of her own. She's very responsible and will get a good student discount and I won't have to share my car, which I don't want to do. We live out of the city limits and there's no bus line or I'd make her use public transport. I am having reservations about letting her take third year German and Into to Psychology at Pima. Her high school dropped the Psychology class she wanted for this year. She's taking all honors and advanced prep courses and TAing and I hesitate to let her get in over her head. She desperately needs a job. I can't afford her any longer but I'd hate to have to get rid of her. :)
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"

Tell me, what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? -Mary Oliver
 
When my oldest turned 16, my SIL gave him her ten year old car because she bought a new one. He drove that around for two and a half years but it finally died. He was responsible for paying for his own gas, although we paid his insurance. We bought him a 'newer' old car when he went to college. He now pays for his own insurance and gas. I recommend getting them on their own policy ASAP.

We now have a 17 yr old and 16 yr old with permits. The 17 yr old wasn't interested in driving until just recently. They both got their permits around the same time. We plan on giving the 17 yr old his fathers car when he gets his license (which should be sometime around Sept) and then when he goes to college, he will pass that car down his brother.

We will help them with insurance, but they have to pay for their own gas.

It was all so much easier when they were younger....

My husband's parents gave him a new car when he turned 16. I didn't have my own car until I was working full time. My first car was a used Ford Mustang.

Tammy
 
I'm 28 now and I think the way my parents did the car thing with me worked out really well.
When I was in high school, I was able to drive my dad's car, provided I took him to work in the morning and picked him up in the evening. He worked maybe 25 minutes away from home, so it was kind of a big deal to leave 50 minutes before I had to in the morning. I never thought of it like that at the time, though. I thought of it as a car for the day!
I'm pretty sure my parents' need for a car trumped mine, although they were always flexible. I worked and was in school in high school. If my mom's car needed service, my dad and I would pick her up from the shop, then shuttle each other around. They usually left me with the car, so I could move from school to work.
I did get into an accident in high school, I remember I had to pay the deductible. I don't think I paid gas- since 80% of it was spent on my dad's to and froms. I think they got me a gas card. I know I didn't have a credit card!

When I was in college, I ended up transferring closer to home. My parents said they would either pay for me to live on campus, or they would buy me a car if I wanted to stay at home. That's the car I have parked in my driveway; it has 115,000 miles on it and I'm praying it gets me through law school!

My parents were pretty smart with some things, I must say. ;)
 
Thanks for everyone's replies! I love to hear what other people have done and I feel better knowing that I'm not the only one going through this! (Jane, my hair has sprouted gray for quite some time! Only me and my hairdresser know how much!)

I got her a cell phone for Christmas last year anticipating her soon-to-come freedom. I think it will be very helpful. I just wouldn't want her to use it WHILE she's driving! It will be illegal soon in the city of Chicago but we're in the suburbs.

I think raising teenagers is almost like reverting to new motherhood. Plenty of worrying and sleep deprived nights! AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! x(



Angie
 
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