Talk to SO everyday on phone??

D

divagirl

Cathlete
I just want to throw this out there to see what the majority does. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 months and we have a really good relationship and see each other quite a bit but we do not talk everyday during the week on the phone. When we do talk its pretty short and the conversations are dry yet when we are together we talk a lot and have great conversations. I just don't get it. It has me befuddled. Has anyone else experienced this?

T
 
My DH has a stressful job, and so I don't call him unless I need to, definitely not to just chat. He's not a fan of the phone, anyway, and is much the same as your SO - kind of dry on the phone but terrific in person.
 
Diva, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Some people just aren't phone talkers, including me. DH and I were phone chatters for like the first month of going out but after that, not so much. Once we were serious we talked on the phone mostly just to check in and say good night, that sort of thing.

Once we got married though, it was like he had never heard of a phone! He'd go out in the morning and never once call or return my calls unless I said "it's important." Once I explained to him that I like to touch base at least once a day, just to say hi, he understood. But even now it's not as if we have these amazing phone calls. It's more of an info exchange! "I'll be home at 7," "what did the mechanic say?" etc. The thrills of married life!!

Sparrow


My garden is filled with papayas and mangos
My life is a mixture of reggaes and tangos
Taste for the good life, I can live it no other way
- Jimmy Buffett
 
I generally call DH at his work once or twice a week, quickly, if I have some really interesting tidbit to share or if I have to ask him a question. He is NOT a phone chatter, and he worries about always looking professional at work, so he's very remote on the phone. But in person he's warm and attentive.

And he almost NEVER calls me at work - only if it's something major like maybe if a giant squid ate his car or something.

To complete this picture for you, I've been at this job for a year and half. Last week he absolutely WAS REQUIRED to call me (a car was in the shop) and when I told him to just call me at work when it was ready, he said "What's your work number again???" I rolled my eyes and said "Well if it's really puzzling for you you could always call information!" AND he, not realizing it was a joke, said "Oh right. Wait, what's the name of the firm again?" It was so ridiculous I had to laugh. Guys. NOT into the communication so much I guess...
 
I absolutely hate talking on the phone so DH knows if he is calling me.....it better be important!!!!

He'd call me everyday, several times, if he could....:)
 
My DH cant focus on a phone conversation at work.... We have alot of fun w/ a few emails throughout day to keep in touch... When he doesnt reply to one I know he hasnt had a minute alone so I give him his space... When I worked and was dating I truely resented men calling me at work... I'M WORKING was always how I felt. Leave me a vmail or email if you think I need to know you're thinking of me.... Probably explains why I was 38 before I got married!;-)
 
DH and I don't talk on the phone unless it's something really important I need to speak to him about.

We're both pretty busy at work so we email each other. That way, if the other person is in the middle of something important they don't have to drop what they're doing or play phone tag. It's usually mundane stuff like how did it go getting the kids off to school (DH does this), who's picking up who after work, what to do for dinner, etc. We keep the emails short and to the point so we don't waste a lot of time (for all you managers out there ;-) ). DH has such a good sense of humor that his emails usually make me smile and cheer me up at times. We both look forward to exchanging emails so much that we "miss" each other when one of us is out of the office.

When DH says goodbye to me in the morning it's usually followed by "See you on the internet!" :)

Sue
 
Like someone else said, some people just aren't "phone" people. Personally, I have to answer the phone so much at work that I don't at home unless it's absolutely necessary!!

I don't mind DH calling me at work, but because I don't know what phone number I will be at, it's not always easy to find me. I will check in with him sometimes to see if he ate (he doesn't eat unless I pester him to when I work). Other than that, the conversations are very short.
 
I agree, some people are phone people and some are not. In my experience, most men are NOT.

To give you an example, here is a sample of a typical phone conversation that I hear from my 19 year old son. "Hello? Yes? Okay. See you then. Bye!" That's it! They get right to the point, no jabbering about mundane things.

My DH is pretty much the same way. He isn't a phone talker, and he's very busy during the day anyway. I prefer to have our conversations in person. :)
 
My husband is very busy during the day and very focused on his job. We only talk when there is something important to take care of. Never to just "say hi".

I think the important thing about your situation is to know that if you eventually marry him, this is something you just have to accept (not try to change). Also, a long distance relationship between you would probably not work. My husband took a job and I couldn't move for 9 months. It was very hard on our marriage for many reasons, but one of them was that we are not phone compatible. Luckily, we made it through that tough patch.
 
My DH will chat with me over Yahoo IM, but he's not a phone person. We had a brief period of time when we spent a lot of time on the phone, but that was because we were 3000 miles apart when we met - and that was the only way we could keep in touch real time. Even now when he travels, we talk once a day just to be sure all is well. Other than that, we never talk except in person. Heck he even texts me to tell me his plans instead of calling me...
 
My DH and I are the same way, I only call when there is something really important. I know for a fact he doesn't even have my work number. I insist he calls home if he is staying after 5 and will be late, and I know it absolutely kills him to do it.

Sally
 
I can't stand talking on the phone! My husband can't either, we are both pretty bad at it.
Even when we were first together and couldn't see each other much during the week we only called to say "hi" or "goodnight," we never really talked on the phone more than that.
--laura
 
Thanks for all the replies. Its nice to know I'm not the only one but sometimes I just wish we had that same connection over the phone as we do in person. If we did ever have to do the long distance thing as mentioned in one post...forget it...haha.
 
>OMG! I think I'm married to Sparrow's husband! :)

OMG! Is that where he's been?! :p

Sparrow


My garden is filled with papayas and mangos
My life is a mixture of reggaes and tangos
Taste for the good life, I can live it no other way
- Jimmy Buffett
 
I am glad that you posted this b/c it is very timely for me. I have been seeing my BF for about 4 months. I noticed that lately, we don't talk as often as before. It's still pretty much the same, but those longer calls are now gone that we used to have in the beginning. I guess this happens as you get to know each other and as long as we chat like crazy in person, all is well :)
 
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