Some people really DON'T want to work!

LauraMax

LauraMax

Cathlete
No, I'm not one of those people who thinks those on unemployment are b/c they're lazy. I feel horribly for them, esp. this time of year.

But I just have to vent here--I have a relative who's been unemployed for at least 3 years. I've written her resume & cover letter. I've sent her links to websites that have job listings for which she's qualified.

So, she really does make an effort to APPLY for jobs. But whenever there's any kind of follow up, or the possibility of her actually getting one of the jobs for which she's applied, she finds some excuse not to take it:

"The person with whom I interviewed didn't return my call yesterday." Well, it's a busy time of year, plus he might want to see how much you want the job or how assertive you are, why don't you call him again? "I know he's not returning my call b/c he thinks I'm too old." :rolleyes:

"The job doesn't pay enough to make it worth my while." What the flying fudge? Isn't something better than food stamps??????

"The commute is too long." Well yeah, it's further than the distance from your couch to your fridge, but isn't it better to have a job w/a commute than no job at all?

"I don't think I'd like working there." Hello????????? Work is not supposed to be fun! It can be, but it's not supposed to be, that's why it's called WORK!

My personal favorite: "this potential coworker chews gum like a cow & speaks too loudly on the phone." ARRRRRRRRRGH!

I honestly don't understand it. This is not a lazy person, but it's also not someone who has the luxury to be choosy when it comes to employment. She's been on food stamps for 1.5 years. She's a RE agent & she hasn't made a dime for about a year. She has absolutely no other form of income. Her house has been up for sale since the summer & people aren't even looking, much less making an offer. She is NOT in a position to be picky about job offers.

Sorry for the long post. I think I've gotten to the point where I have to stop trying to help her & ignore her when she mentions her employment situation, b/c it's giving me heartburn & I just want to shake her!

Unless someone else out there has been in a similar position & can tell me how to get through this woman's thick skull? :confused:
 
Give it up

I think it's quite obvious that she doesn't want to work. You can't get through to some people, so it's not worth your energy.
 
I was just talking to my husband about this and how can people be satisfied w/sitting home, doing nothing all day, surviving on gov't assistance and be happy??? Don't they want more? Don't they want to be able to provide for themselves and not have to use gov't assistance for the rest of their lives? The assistance is there for those who truly need it and I do not begrudge those truly in need but as in the case of those who don't TRULY need it and are just being lazy-it makes me sooooooo mad! :mad:
 
Fit_mommy said:
I was just talking to my husband about this and how can people be satisfied w/sitting home, doing nothing all day, surviving on gov't assistance and be happy??? Don't they want more? Don't they want to be able to provide for themselves and not have to use gov't assistance for the rest of their lives? The assistance is there for those who truly need it and I do not begrudge those truly in need but as in the case of those who don't TRULY need it and are just being lazy-it makes me sooooooo mad! :mad:
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But see, this is what's so strange--she really does work her butt off, but only on things she really enjoys. She likes to do home improvements. She likes yardwork & gardening. She likes to cook. She likes to do stuff you couldn't pay me enough to do! :p

So she's not really doing nothing all day. She's very energetic & is always running around doing something. Oddly, she's often doing something to help someone else instead of herself. :rolleyes:

You know, just writing this has helped me gain some insight. I think the real problem is, this woman is just not a people person. No matter what the job, who the boss is, who the coworkers are, she'd be miserable.

It's too bad she's not younger (she's 70, & of course she doesn't receive social security b/c she never paid into it :confused:). She has the talent & energy to start her own business. I always said she missed her calling & should've been a chef. The woman could cook circles around Tom Colliccio! ;) But right now she needs something to pay the bills. I really wish she'd suck it up & take what's offered instead of constantly finding reasons to turn down the jobs, or not follow up on them.
 
LauraMax said:
But see, this is what's so strange--she really does work her butt off, but only on things she really enjoys. She likes to do home improvements. She likes yardwork & gardening. She likes to cook. She likes to do stuff you couldn't pay me enough to do! :p

So she's not really doing nothing all day. She's very energetic & is always running around doing something. Oddly, she's often doing something to help someone else instead of herself. :rolleyes:

You know, just writing this has helped me gain some insight. I think the real problem is, this woman is just not a people person. No matter what the job, who the boss is, who the coworkers are, she'd be miserable.

It's too bad she's not younger (she's 70, & of course she doesn't receive social security b/c she never paid into it :confused:). She has the talent & energy to start her own business. I always said she missed her calling & should've been a chef. The woman could cook circles around Tom Colliccio! ;) But right now she needs something to pay the bills. I really wish she'd suck it up & take what's offered instead of constantly finding reasons to turn down the jobs, or not follow up on them.
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Well then if she's doing all of these things for others she SHOULD turn it into a business and charge for her services! That would solve her problems! She'd have a job doing something she would do anyway and would have $ for the bills! :)
 
Fit_mommy said:
Well then if she's doing all of these things for others she SHOULD turn it into a business and charge for her services! That would solve her problems! She'd have a job doing something she would do anyway and would have $ for the bills! :)
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That's what I told her. But she found a zillion excuses not to. :mad:
 
Fit_mommy said:
But wait a minute! She needs a job. You and her are friends so she obviously likes you and you are hiring at your place!!! Problem solved!;)
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:D She lives too far away. She's out by Valley Forge. And don't forget, we're related. What if she didn't perform & I had to can her? :eek:

MD has a good point. She has some issues, as in she's bipolar & refuses to get help for it. So even the relief of some kind of disability payment isn't there.

So, in summary, stubborn, thinks the perfect job is out there waiting for her, doesn't really like people, has some emotional issues, keeps asking me for help & then blowing me off when I give it to her. Very frustrating. It's starting to depress ME! I really wish there was something I could do for her financially so we could all stop worrying about her. Maybe I need to start playing the lottery again. :p
 
Wow, sounds ALOT like someone very close to me. It sucks and it is frustrating, especially when she is asking for your help. It's a shame too, she has a lot of skills and the energy to perform them, but doesn't know how to capitalize on it.
 
Laura.
She apparently doesnt want to work either due to fear of failure or lack of motivation to work. If someone gave me leads and an path like you did, I would be thrilled for that opportunity.
Like a previous post, have her cook and clean for others.
 
paulababy said:
How can she be a real estate agent and NOT be a people person?!! :confused:
Paula
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Because she THINKS she is. LOL! She was never successful at it. Never made more than $20K a year, even in the 80s.

Yes Wendy, that was most definitely a NO! OMG! I've lived alone for 20 years & my house is barely big enough for my dogs & me. Plus I really can't afford to support someone right now.
 
This sounds like someone i know. Her solution was to take her ex husband to court for an increase in child support instead of finding a job.

I don't think you can help her if she won't even help herself. You can't force her to work and you aren't in a position to support her financially.
 
This sounds like someone i know. Her solution was to take her ex husband to court for an increase in child support instead of finding a job.
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That's awful and I'll bet she got more $$ too even though she is probably more then capable of getting a job. Stupid family court system just burns me up when they let mothers get away w/this crap! :mad: No offense to you, Elle-I realize this is someone you know so I don't want to offend...:)
 
Fit_mommy said:
That's awful and I'll bet she got more $$ too even though she is probably more then capable of getting a job. Stupid family court system just burns me up when they let mothers get away w/this crap! :mad: No offense to you, Elle-I realize this is someone you know so I don't want to offend...:)
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No offense taken! I can't stand her!

I really believe if you are willing to work you can find SOMETHING. You may not make as much $ as you did at your last job or you may not start at the top or even really like the job but you do what you need to do to get by.

I realize the economy is bad and there are a lot of people out of work but i'm so sick of hearing about people who think they can pick and choose and wait around for their dream job.
 
Elle_p said:
No offense taken! I can't stand her!

I really believe if you are willing to work you can find SOMETHING. You may not make as much $ as you did at your last job or you may not start at the top or even really like the job but you do what you need to do to get by.

I realize the economy is bad and there are a lot of people out of work but i'm so sick of hearing about people who think they can pick and choose and wait around for their dream job.
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Yeah, that is really crazy. And it's a darn shame for the kids. :(

And yeah, I think she should take one of these jobs so she can pay her bills, even if it's not her dream job. :rolleyes:
 
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