So very sad - long and sort of venting.

[NRG Woman]

As many of you may remember I have had a really bad couple of years medically. I have finally mostly recovered from my last surgery and started getting back to exercising and work. Of course, since exercising is my work it has been slow and frustrating getting back to full speed. As I have gotten back into some sort of routine many of my old injuries have been flaring up. So yesterday I finally made it to the podiatrist to see about my foot pain. Last summer I went to a really bad orthopedic surgeon who blew me off, but did refer me to PT. Anyway PT and the orthotics I got last year did nothing and I am still in constant pain. Well, yesterday the podiatrist said I had posterior tibialis tendonitis. I thought NBD, tendonitis heals with rest. Well, apparently when you have had it for years it becomes degenerative, hmmm. So yesterday he put me in a brace and scheduled an MRI. The brace hurt terribly and tomorrow I am going in to get a boot instead. He said he suspected from the description of the pathology and how I had already tried and diligently followed every conservative treatment that there may be a tear in the tendon or some other degeneration that would require surgery. Seriously???

After almost 2 years I have finally started back to work. 2 of the places I work have held my job for me and stood by me during all of my struggles. I have many obligations to teach and present over the next couple of months that I feel too guilty to back out of. Fortunately at least two of them are indoor cycling which you can coach off the bike.

Yesterday I was so sad I spent most of the day on the couch crying. Every time I feel like I am getting well enough to return to my "real" life something else happens and I am sick again for some reason. Today while spending the day in the house trying to stay off my feet I tried soothing myself with baked goods, that really didn't work either. I know I am being overly dramatic with my reaction to this situation, but I am so very frustrated and profoundly sad.

Thanks for listening.

Shayne

 

[MCunningham]

Shayne,

(((HUGS))) I have no real words of wisdom for you... sometimes it just feels like life kicks you when you're down. I'm sorry about your injury and how bummed out you are. I wish you a very speedy recovery, whether you decide on surgery or not.

MC

 

[ImFiddY]

I'm so sorry for your pain and frustration. Sometimes crying helps to relieve the stress. What I tell myself is OK I'll give you one day to cry, lament, feel sorry for myself and hide away from the world. After that I tell myself you need to understand it is what it is. Crying, hiding, and being depressed will not change that.

It's OK to let everything overwhelm you, for a short while, just try to pick yourself up and take it one day at a time.

Things will get better. I hope you have the support of friends and family. You really need them right now.

I wish you the best of luck and hope for full recovery. You can do it.

 

[Sunshine1528]

Shayne - sorry for your troubles but even more for your frustration. I think most of us understand completely and I honestly believe that it helps just to "talk" about it with those who will listen and provide support.

I understand the frustration of life dealing you some bad cards and just when it seems to get better something else pops up. We are Women Hear Us Roar ! Is it possible to find something that can move you forward, perhaps a more mental way of teaching, like nutrition or workout programs where you can, like you do with the cycling, not need your own body for the teaching?

Otherwise maybe see what you can do to improve yourself in another way until you are physically able to get back to something you love to do.

As far as the diagnosis - if you aren't comfortable with what you have been told, get a second opinion. My favorite saying "some of the doctors got "C's" you know?" I think some do a better job of staying ontop of the latest and greatest too. There are so many miraculous surgeries out there that the recovery periods are very short.

Tomorrow is another day - if you need to vent - come back here and do it as we all use these forums to find others who will understand or just listen.

Now me, I come here to whine that I've lost it and then the next thing you know, a few people will pick me up and I can get back on track or change whatever I need to work on.

Sending you lots of HUGS for a better day tomorrow and a speedy road to recovery !

 

[morningstar]

Shayne, this is my worst nightmare, and I would be highly emotional about it as well. You'll get through it, but in the middle of the situation, it can feel overwhelming. Just keep in mind, this is the middle of the tunnel, and you are working toward the light.

 

[fit44]

Shayne,
I can only imagine what you are going through. (((hugs)))

I would look for things you can do sitting or floor work, just so you don't have to give up exercising.

 

[poohpeggy]

I am sorry your going through such a long ordeal. Try to keep your chin up...
((((((((HUGS)))))))) Peggy

 

[NRG Woman]

Thanks for all of your kind words. Sometimes you just need to have someone understand your frustration.

I got my boot today and it is much bigger and more cumbersome than I had anticipated. I was thinking I would be more mobile with it on, but I am significantly less mobile. I think the worst part is that I have the same problem on the other foot and it is being exacerbated by the boot and the change in my gate. I was going to tell my boss today, but have decided to wait until Monday or Tuesday when I find out the results of my MRI. I would like to be able to give her more information, and solutions so she can freak out less.

I spent some serious time with my journal last night, and some serious time with my IPod today and have had a bit of an attitude adjustment. I know each day I will become more adjusted to the situation and feel better about things.

Thanks,

Shayne

 

[Miss Lee]

Oh Shanyne, I'm sorry! I don't have anything to add to the words of wisdom you've already been given, but here's a {{{{{Great Big Hug}}}}}.