So discouraged...please help

RBurke

Active Member
HI all.
I've posted similar postings before but I need more advice and encouragement. I recently (past year) put on about 20 pounds due to some medications (not taking now) and getting married etc. I am 5'3" tall. When I got married two years ago, I weighed 110. I now weigh 128. I've been struggling with my weight and bigger sizes for a year. I've worked out, cut calories, increased calories, increased protein, worked out in the morning, seen a dietician (total disaster) and so on. I finally hurt my knees in January and had to take some time off. I've been back in the routine for about a month now. I've seen no change in weight or size/measurements in that month. Last week I decided to cut calories again to around 1500. Now, I've tried doing 1200, 1700, and 2000 before. Calories don't seem to effect my size. I can eat nothing or I can eat a lot and I seem to still stay the same. I wouldn't care about my weight but my size is too big and I feel bad about myself when I see myself in the mirror. I used to be really proud of my body but not now. I've been lifting fairly heavy for a month now. I can see improvements in strength gain as far as muscle size but now I just look bigger because the fat is still there on top of the muscle. Should I continue lifting heavy? Should I cut calories lower? I just want to see a tiny improvement. I would be tickled to loose 1/2 pound per week but I just don't. Any advice on working out or diet is much appreciated. Here's what my schedule looked like last week and this week.

Last week:
Monday: walking for 30 minutes
Tuesday: Back, Biceps and Abs and stationary bike for 20 minutes
Wednesday: Cardio portion of All Step
Thursday: Legs
Friday: off
Saturday: Chest, Triceps, and shoulders and 25 minutes on stationary bike.
Sunday: Running for 45 minutes

This week so far:
Monday: Nothing (knees hurt slightly)
Tuesday: Back, Biceps and Abs and bike for 20 minutes
Wednesday: nothing (too bummed)

Thanks for your time.
 
Hi RBurke!! Boy you have tried soooo much!! There's really only one thing I can think to suggest (my boss who's a PT told me to do this) do interval workouts twice a week. She said that that should blast the fat off. I asked for her advice on the same subect. It did work, however two IMAXS or Intense Moves are too much for me in one week, so I only do one. I have been losing about a 1/2 lbs a week this past month.
One more thing, I'm 5'1" and I eat about 1700cal/day. Please don't go too low or you'll effect your metabolism.
Ok, there's my humble advice. I hope it helps!! Good Luck!! I'm rooting for ya:)!!

Aimee
 
Hi there,
Sounds like you're trying your best, and that's great!! Here's some suggestions, if I may. Insure that you are doing cardio 4-5 times at week--each session be in your target zone for 20 minutes minimum (keep your target zone at the 65-70%; whereby, you burn more fat vs. muscle). Also, do strength training before cardio. Take a good quality, daily multi-vitamin/mineral formula(no megadoses!)to sustain you at low caloric eating. I wouldn't restrict to less than 1200 calories because you may inadvertently increase your metabolism and increase your risk for osteoporosis.
Another great thing for relieving stress is to try and do yoga 3x week- a great tape is AM/PM Yoga by Living Arts(each only 20 mins., non-intimidating, and reasonably priced at Target. Yoga will naturally relax you, calm you and increase self-appreciation. It's wonderful!
Also, sometimes certain meds that increase one's weight, can take several months for the body to readjust.
Lastly, it wouldn't hurt for you to ask your health care provider to check your thyroid and blood glucose levels(done via a simple blood test).
In the meantime, please take care! Remember to take one day off exercising to just enjoy the day with no workout pressure!
Keep in touch!
Best Wishes,
Faith
 
Touchy subject, but did you maybe need to gain the weight in the first place? I mean, I know everyone is different body wise, but 128 doesn't seem high to me for 5'3". Maybe 110 was too low, and your body is changing. Your age could be a factor--I think I've gained about ten pounds in the past few years as I continue to approach 30. I am active and healthy, and of course struggle with body image (as most women seem to do) and try not to let it bug me.
I'm sorry that you are feeling so discouraged. Hope the other's advice helps you a bit!
Wendy
 
Please tell us more about your dietician experience. Why was it a disaster? Maybe you could give someone else a try.
 
Hi RBurke!

Bless your heart! I know how discouraging this can be. I had knee surgery in January and had to really limit my activity, but since then I've had a few nice surprises. I don't know if they'll work for you, but just thought I'd share. I decided to modify my eating plan by simply cutting out simple sugars - no sweets, sodas or anything like that, and beyond that, eat whatever I wanted with attention to portion control. You may be way beyond that, but for me, this was a good start. I've lost 5-6 lbs just doing this so far.

the other major thing was the drastic change in my exercise routine. Since I had my knee immobilized for six weeks, my leg was like a wet noodle to start off with. So it was painfully slow to get back. I bought the new Stott Pilates series, and have continued to do Pilates as a major part of my exercise routine. Believe it or not, this stuff has really toned up my torso, flattened my forever pooching stomach, made me feel great, and I've lost weight without endless cardio. It's like a mystery to me, and the exercises seem wimpy at first, but when you really pay attention to form, they become fairly challenging.

I can't predict what would be right for you, but this 'backing off' approach has been wonderful for me. I still have my Cathe fix once or twice a week, can do part of Wedding tape with major modifications and her strength stuff, but so far I am really pleased and shocked at how gentle exercise can be so effective.

Wishing you all the best with finding the formula that's right for you! :)

Cheers,
Colia
 
Thanks for the reply. I know that 110 was too low. It is unrealistic. However, 128 is too much for me since I can see fat that shouldn't be there. I would really like to reduce the fat around my abdomen and upper legs. I wouldn't care what I weighed if I could just get rid of some of the fat and see some real definition for a change. I might try switching to doing higher reps with less weight but I usually don't see significant changes with that method either. I am going to try working out in the mornings again because I can do longer work-outs that way. If I get my cardio done in the morning, I can leave weight training for afternoons. I just don't want to injure myself again. Anyway...Thanks for the message.
 
My dietician experience...
I saw him the first time and gave him the basics. It was the same story I've told you pretty much. He then gave me a sheet of paper with portion sizes and how much I should eat of each at every meal. He had me reduce my calories to 1100. I told him how much I worked out and he said to just do it. That was an awful two weeks. I was so hungry all the time and he told me to only eat 90 grams of carbs per day. He advised me to up my fat and protein to compensate in spite of my cholesterol (205 with family history). I felt awful. I was totally lethargic anc my workouts suffered. I was also in a terrible mood. And...I didn't loose a pound. So, he then said that I should start something called oxycise. It is some kind of breathing thing where your force your body to go into "fight or flight mode". I watched the tapes he gave me and laughed the whole time. I couldn't do it. It was just too stupid. I then found out that he was a spokesman for this oxycise system. I went to him for nutritional advice and he gave me a sales pitch basically. I was extremely disappointed. He also came highly recommended by more than one person. I tried to get him to give me nutritional information on energy, calories and so on but he never did. He even recommended slim fast for a healthy meal. I might try another dietician some day but I've read so much now, I don't know what they could tell me. I learned so much just reading magazines and books. Someone else mentioned sodas. I don't really drink sodas. Here's a typical day for me:

breakfast: oatmeal, green tea
snack: cottage cheese (reduced fat and fruit), water
lunch: natural peanut butter and banana sandwich on whole wheat/high fiber bread, water
snack: balance outdoor bar or zone perfect bar (~200 calories)
supper: vegetable soup, fish, chicken, lean red meat, with some kind of good carb like sweet potato or spinach pasta with asparagus, squash or brocolli, and black decaf tea and 2 hershey kisses (can't help it)
snack: milk

That's a typical day for me. I am usually hungry when I eat so I don't feel I am stuffing myself. I am going to the doctor on Monday to get another thyroid check. They have always been "normal" but I do have a family history of thyroid disease.

Thanks again.
 
I second the notion of the interval workouts. You can also do walking intervals and bike interval, too. If you don't have Imax or Intense Moves, get them! You'll love them!
 
Oops, sorry.... I meant low caloric intake could SLOW your metabolism. As I was lying in bed last night, I was thinking did I say increase or decrease????!!!!! So sorry for that, hope I didn't confuse you, although everyone here is so knowledgeable, so you probably knew what I meant! Again, the very best to you!!!
 
RE: Hi RBurke!

I am very sorry for your experience with the so called dietician but I serfiously doubt he was a certified one through the American Dietetic Association. You might look one up in your area on the ADA website.

Just so you know where I am coming from, I am a certified personal trainer and have an associate's degree in exercise science. My philosophy is one of balance and making changes that can be maintained over the long-term. I am not a proponent of high protein diets or super low fat diets.

The first thing I would suggest is somehow, some way, to increase the frequency, intensity, and duration of your cardio sessions. I suspect that you may not have done this because of your knees. What do you have access to regarding cardio? Do you belong to a gym? This would give you more options that may not aggravate your knee problems such as ellipticals and Reebok has this great stepper in some gyms that is a combo between the elliptical and the stairmaster. You can do great interval programs on these machines as well which was suggested to you in earlier posts.

I would recommend reading the book OUTSMARTING THE FEMALE FAT CELL written by a very sensible dietician named Debra Waterhouse. It's a terrific book I suggest to all my female clients. One thing she says in the book is that women need to have cardio sessions lasting from 40 to 45 minutes around 4 to 5 days per week. I have followed her advice for myself for years and IT WORKS! There is also great info on diet and fat intake. Read the book because it is so much more than I could provide.

One thing though is not to cut calories below 1500 in my opinion. Eating less will not provide your body with enough fuel. I really recommend going between 1750 and 2000. Ironically digestion is the most energy expending body process so we burn less calories when we eat less calories. I do agree with what one person said which is that it may take time for the medications to cycle out of your system.

One quick thing about one of the suggestions. Do not believe the theory that working at less intensity will burn more fat. This is a misunderstood technicality. The numbers here are fictional and are only to illustrate the point. Say you walk for X number of minutes and burn 100 calories of which 75% comes from fat= 75 fat calories. Then you run for X number of minutes and burn 250 calories and only 50% come from fat=125 fat calories. More intense workouts burn more total calories which is what really counts.

Run out and get the book. It's a small paperback edition and is less than ten dollars. It also is very motivating to read.
Please feel free to ask me any more questions. I love connecting with people on the forum.
Best wishes, Cyndie
 
RE: Hi RBurke!

I was going to suggest longer cardio, too! That also worked out better for me, along with cross training. That dietician sounds like a quack.

I'd like to suggest the books Volumetrics and Dr Sharpiro's Picture Perfect Weight Loss which will help you eat more volume wise, but take in less calories.
 
RE: Hi RBurke!

Thanks so much for your reply. I appreciate everyone here. I have actually read the Fat Cell book and the Volumetrics. I try very hard to not let myself get too hungry and eat smaller meals. The fat cell book recommends a low fat diet. She says that all fat is the same and that Salmon and such are still fat. I differ on this point because I've read so much that says the unsaturated fats are good. But, I've tried to stick to the overall guidelines for the book. I drink plenty of water and such. You are right about my knees. They've been bothering me for a while now but I've seen small improvements. They actually get worse if I don't do anything on them. I worked my legs last night. I only did weight training. But this morning my right shin is hurting as well as my left knee. I expected a little knee pain because I did lunges and knee press. I tried to take it easy though. I have a gym membership. Most of my cardio has been coming from the stationary bike and elliptical machine. I do intervals on them twice a week but it is hard to get my cardio up there. My legs turn to jelly before I can get a good hard cardio workout on these machines. I was wondering if you could do a sample work-out schedule for me. I am willing to try anything. Could you give me a sample rotation that would be easy to moderate on the knees but high in intensity? I can work out in the mornings for about an hour and I can do weight training in the evenings for about 30 or 45 minutes, three days a week. Thanks! That would be great.
 
RE: Hi RBurke!

You're right about the salmon and nuts etc. More info has come out since the book was written but I do think her exercise recommendations are good. I also like the three to one ratio of 3 low fat items or days to 1 higher fat item or day. I thought that was a very easy and common sense way to approach eating and to incorporate higher fat foods. I assume volumetrics is about eating foods that weigh a lot like whole grains, fruits, vegetables, etc. I think this is a great concept and can really work for people.

I can really relate to cardio machine fatigue. I thank God for step aerobics because it was the only thing that got me into shape. Now I can run and do the elliptical but it literally took me years to build up the endurance. I have some suggestions for you. The most important thing to do on a cardio machine is to have a walkman with music. Even research has shown that music motivates people to work out longer and harder. I would suggest you buy an aerobics tape for instructors that has a tempo of at least 135 beats per minute. I say this because the tempo will remain consistent through the entire tape. Try power music www.powermusic.com and you can listen to some of the choices. They are a lot more expensive than a regular tape but I think it would help you a great deal. Second I would suggest that you drag a step over to the cardio area. You might feel a lillle awkwatd but don't let it stop you. Do three to five minute intervals on a machine as intense as you can go and then do one to two minutes of moderate and more basic step choreography. You can do alternating knees or repeaters, up and over the step, L-steps, etc. Complete seven to ten cycles and try to get a total of 40 to 45 minutes in one session. Avoid turn step or Cathe calls them horse shoes because that could torque your knee if you're not careful. This is a terrific way to increase intensity while also breaking up the monotony. Third, do not vedge out and watch TV. I think this encourages people to slow down and not get as much out of their workout. Another music suggestion is to go to the FIRM www.firmbelievers.com and buy their universal cardio tape. It is an audio that has music but also has an instructor who is coaching you through your workout. It is intended for any cardio macine so the prompts are general. This is very motivating. Lastly, you must rehabilitate your knees. Start with getting a sound diagnosis from an orthopedic surgeon or sports medicine doctor. So many people I talk with don't want to go to the trouble. My response is how do you know what to do and what to avoid to make the situation better if you don't get a diagnosis? You don't want to make the problem worse. If you can identify the problem AND your doctor doesn't feel you need physical therapy of any kind, I can offer some help. I am currently studying to become certified as an exercise medical specialist. Hope all of this helps and don't hesitate to ask any more questions.

Best wishes, Cyndie
 
RE: Hi RBurke!

Hi.
I was going to email you but I couldn't find you address. You can email me if you prefer. I appreciate the advice. I have seen a doctor. He says I have knee cap placement problems. He showed me some exercises to do to strengthen the inner quad muscle. My knees are turned out slightly. He says it is due to not working the inner muscle enough and doing too much for the outer muscle like bench stepping and so on. I attribute these exercises to my knees getting better but I still have to be careful. I also live in a house that has all bedrooms up stairs so I have to go up and down a lot. That aggrivates them.
I haven't done a Cathe tape in a while. Although I did a short one last week on just the bench with no risers. It was a good workout but I miss the higher intensity. It didn't hurt my knees so that was good. Thanks for all the advice. I am going to check into the music.
 
agree with wendy

Hi--Sorry to hear about your frustration, but I have to agree with Wendy. Your weight does not sound too high, especially since you have gained muscle. Getting older is a factor, too. Your body will change, and that isn't a bad thing. As I get closer to 40, I see my "thirties" fat as protection against future bone loss. I've read that women naturally collect a little extra fat as they near menopause because it keeps you from losing bone mass. Of course, you are no where near menopause, but it's something to consider. Focus on the fact that you're taking good care of yourself. Don't over-train or starve yourself, and take pride in being strong & fit. Remember, there are more important things in life than the number on the scale! You've got a husband who loves you and your good health. What else do you really need? Good luck, Suzanne
 
RE: Hi RBurke!

The email button is not working for some reason. Anyway I will do some research on your problem and see what I find. As far as the music is concerned, I could also tape sometiing for you. Let me know. My email is [email protected]
 
Hi

I understand your frustration. It's tough when you appear thin/ within your proper weight range to others but you know that you have been gaining weight inappropriately.

Just some food for thought:

I spent the last year gaining weight inappropriately and I couldn't lose an ounce despite a healthy diet & lots of exercise. Additional symptoms crept up on me during the course of a year. As it turns out, I now believe the weight gain was the leading indicator of a thyroid disorder. I have recently started thyroid meds.

You mention that you were taking meds that caused you to gain weight. I was also taking medication for allergies during my weight gain period. After doing tons of research, I now think that the medication I was taking contributed to my thyroid disorder.

You may want to have your Dr. take a look at your thyroid.

good luck!
 
THoughts

Hello there RBurke. I just hopped on and read your post. I am a shorty too and have been in your boat more times than I care to count. 20 pounds on me is two clothing sizes, I know how it is! I am willing to bet my paycheck that most, if not all, of your weight is water retention in your adipose tissue. You are likely "falsely fat" bloating. It is not your fault and you need to keep your chin up. Remember, if it isn't working, look for something radically different than what you have been doing to shock your system.

I am going to suggest something to you...try it for 3 weeks. You can make it 3 weeks. See if it works.

DIET:
#1: Stop eating anything you normally eat a whole lot of--even if it is on the list of OK to eat.
#2: Don't worry about calories this three weeks. Just keep portion size reasonable

Cut out ALL bread and anything with yeast.
Cut out ALL dairy, except milk if you absolutely feel you have to.
Cut out all added sugar (except natural sugar found in fruits and veggies)
Don't eat anything processed (lunch meats, sausage, bacon)

Eat: fruit, veggies, meat, fish, limited potato and rice (approx 1 cup per serving); Eggs; nuts; broth-based soups (watch sodium, no creamy ones); instead of crackers or bread, substitute low sodium triscuits. Salads- no croutons, no cheese, no bacon, and only use vinagrettes or italians. Keep it very light. Don't drink anything but water and herbal tea (no sugar!!!)

Exercise:
Cut down a little bit on your lifting, and increase your cardio to 4 to 5 days a week. Increase your duration to 45 minutes. (interval training, walking, running, doesn't matter!) On a scale of 1-10, you should be training at about an 8 for at least 25 minutes of that 45. Challenge yourself!

Whatever you decide to do, I am positive you will find something that works for you. You are working very hard right now and your metabolism is just not cooperating. I will think good positive thoughts for you and I know you'll get there.


If you want to know why I am suggesting this whole thing, e-mail me privately at [email protected].
 
Hey girl! Saw your message and just had to give you some encouragement! We've all been there, and go back some times! I used to be 120's couple years ago, just couldnt get back. Kept lingering around 127-128, then up to 130! and I said STOP! I do mostly Cathe tapes, and I have a treadmill, and I like to do my weights. (And I like to eat, and am only 5'2 - it's hard because there is no where for weight to go but out!!! ha ha) And I've really wanted to work on abs and hips, and my arms! So this is what I did. I decided to #1 get on my treadmill and instead of walking 3.6 and 3.8, decided to start walking for 5-7 minutes at that speed, then turning it up to about 5.2-5.5 for 5 minutes, and then repeating that. Intervals MAKE A DIFFERENCE, and you dont have to run the whole time, but over 1-2 weeks, I felt it getting easier!

Your workout looked good the days you did both arms and some cardio, but I'll tell you 20 minutes doesnt cut it. At least try 30. And I've been struggling with should you increase weights if arms get bigger, and I've finally pushed myself to 35 lbs. on most exercises and have found better definition is coming, still working on it. I just cant do those damn crazy eights with 35 lbs, but can with 25 lbs.

Why dont you try doing 30-40 minutes of treadmill or cardio, then switch over to weights for 20 minutes. Also, try to eat "energy" food like spinach, cranberry juice, vegetables, not mac and cheeses (husbands!) and processed prepared foods. Try baked potatoes - decent filler!

I'm not the professor, but I've been at this a long time and just want to help. Good luck, and stay in touch.

Cheryl
 

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