Setting goals

buffettgirl

buffettgirl

Cathlete
A coworker was just telling me about her 28 year daughter's "five year goals" and how she has accomplished all but one. The daughter is leaving to visit a friend in Europe and my friend expects her to look for a job there, since the last goal is to live in Europe. This has me taking a look at my life. Seems like I've just sailed through 53 years of life, handling the day to day chores, just keeping on keeping on. I want to set some goals. Something more important than 1) Lose 10 pounds 2) Do a workout today 3) Figure out what to make for dinner.

All you folks who may have set goals and, hopefully, met them....how do you do it? How do I realistically (or maybe not realitically?) set some goals for my life? Then, how do you attain them? Sigh. Big question, huh?
 
That's funny you should mention this. I picked a book off my shelf the other day and in it found "my life plan" from about 3 years ago. I don't remember ever writing it or even wanting to do those things! It really made me think, how many goals have I set for myself and not only abandoned but completely forgot they existed? I can happily say that I've accomplished about the same level professionally I had intended to, just in a completely different area.

It is a big question, but I guess my only advice would be, write it down! It sounds like maybe the hardest part would be actually coming up with the list, letting yourself figure out what it is you really want. For each goal, find out exactly what you need to do to accomplish it (for me it was researching course descriptions, admissions requirements, financial feasibility, etc). If you don't know what you'd need, then put "find out ____" on the list. The more little tiny doable steps you can create and follow through on (simply calling a travel agency to ask questions, for example), the better.

And once you have the list, don't fold it up and put it in a book. :p
 
Robin - I've made lists and lists of goals. Some big, some small, some adventurous, some not. What I've learned about myself is that if I actually, truly want to do it, I don't need to put it down on a list or five-year plan. I'll be working towards it just as a part of my life, while that list gets shoved in a drawer somewhere.:7

Your co-worker's daughter sounds like ...oh... maybe a very driven person - LOL. I don't mean this in a negative sense at all. Some people are really just go-getters.

So I guess it boils down to this: I have no idea how to help you. ;) Sorry!!
 
It took me ten years to graduate college with just my bachelor's degree and one of my goals was to do it before I was 30. I plugged away, year after year, taking classes sometimes only one but at least it was something. Sometimes I felt like I would never finish but I just kept at it. I graduated last year just after my 28th birthday!! Even though it was only my bachelor's, it was MY goal and I stuck to it and did it! Now I am also working in the field of my choice and love my job! Some call it luck but I just think of it as hard work finally paying off.

So I guess my point is.....pick what goal or dream is important to you and stick with it! Write it down and hang it on your refrigerator. Once I had given myself a deadline to finish school, something concrete, I had to stick to it. You can start small like you stated, with the 10 pounds. You can start even smaller than the 10 pounds and say "I will not eat any sweets today" or "I will 2 more glasses of water than I normally do" or "I will work out." Once you start committing yourself to the smaller the goals, the bigger ones may seem much easier to attain. I hope this helps!

Jen:7
 
I'm a day-to-day girl myself. I try to go with the flow and live "in the moment," so to speak. I have basic fitness goals, but I think I enjoy the journey itself a great deal, so I don't focus too much on it. I have little goals and projects, but those aren't too Earth-shattering.

I do have one big goal: To raise my girls well. They're currently 13 and 9.5, and I consider them my career. Getting them both to a happy, healthy, kind age of 18 will be two HUGE accomplishments for me. Everything else pales in comparison.

*Edit: In regards to attaining the goal, I obviously have no choice but to go at the kids' speed: One year at a time. :) To keep my spirits up, I look for outside encouragement and inspiration. I read books, visit websites, and participate on forums. On the days when I think, "Man, I'll never make it," I pluck a book off the shelf and look for just the right chapter for that shot of confidence.
 
I could have written your post! I feel like I'm not realizing my potential in ANY area of my life. I quit my job (RN) and I have no desire to return to my profession, but I can't even figure out what I'm passionate about. I feel like I'm led entirely by outside influences that are out of my control, things like the care and nurture of needy family members (truly needy ;) ), but I never seem to find anything or have a goal to benefit ME -- to add something to my life. I'm totally lost. I don't even know what I want, so I guess my first goal should be to figure that out. ;)
 
I think anything we do that's positive benefits us and adds to our lives, but I know what you mean...you want to find what gift you've been given so you can really enjoy it. Then you can share it with others.

If I didn't have the kids, I'm not sure what else I'd be doing actually. I don't know what my gift is either.
 
Well Robin, don't forget to think about what you have accomplished...raising a very nice family an being an awesome grandma among many, many things. After you do that, think about what you have always dreamed of doing and maybe shake things up in your life a bit. If you always buy blue and green blouses, try a red one instead...shake up your thinking for a new perspective and you'll get many more ideas on where you're headed. You might end up like some of us who have too many goals and not enough time (the one advantage to that is you get to enjoy quite a bit on surprises along the way). I know I'd really like to become fluent in German....and I'd like to get ACE certified....and I really want to keep working on my fitness goals....and learn how to play guitar. I can't do it all but I'll try ;-)
 
>Well Robin, don't forget to think about what you have
>accomplished...raising a very nice family an being an awesome
>grandma among many, many things. After you do that, think
>about what you have always dreamed of doing and maybe shake
>things up in your life a bit. If you always buy blue and
>green blouses, try a red one instead...shake up your thinking
>for a new perspective and you'll get many more ideas on where
>you're headed. You might end up like some of us who have too
>many goals and not enough time (the one advantage to that is
>you get to enjoy quite a bit on surprises along the way). I
>know I'd really like to become fluent in German....and I'd
>like to get ACE certified....and I really want to keep working
>on my fitness goals....and learn how to play guitar. I can't
>do it all but I'll try ;-)


Beavs, of course I agree with EVERYTHING you said about Robin. As for you -- well, of all the women on this forum, you are the only one who could pose a threat to my marriage -- LMAO!!! I'm serious! You and my DH, although miles apart politically, share many common interests. You like the same books, and my DH is fluent in German with a Hessian accent ;) . But I'm not going to let YOU anywhere near him! :p :p :p :7

Just kiddin :* :* :*
 
Michele--you are an incredibly compassionate, inspiring, uber awesome lady who makes many of us smile (and those who don't are crabs) and made us feel better when we've been feeling down. Despite all those very worthy attributes, you could focus on being Coach Sean promoter (kinda like Samantha Jones to Smith Jarrod---ha ha ha ha!!)
 
Thanks all. You made me feel better about not being a goal driven person. You also made me decide (is this a goal?) to spend some time this weekend dreaming. I've always wanted to go to Paris, and think maybe learning French could be an attainable goal. I've also played around with writing, and think maybe I should try to set some concrete goals in that direction. And I'll write the things down and stick them on my new, not-yet-cluttered frig.
 
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