Self Sabotage?

B

bestoutwest

Cathlete
I'm borrowing that term from Tom Venuto (Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle), but that's somewhat how I'm feeling this week. This has been a common pattern for me for the past 4 years: decide to workout more/harder, etc., get in better shape, lose a few pounds, eat better, etc. Well, I get off to a good start, then about 2 months into things, I hit a road block and the wheels start to fall off! I find excuses not to get up and workout, I justify my poor eating habits (stress, pms, etc) and then before you know it, I fall completely back into my old pattern. Only to return to my workouts, etc anywhere from 6-8 months later. And by then, any good I had done before has been lost. If anything, I now have a few more pounds to lose.

So, for some reason, I'm fearing this may be happening again, because this has been a bad week for me. Skipped 2 workouts entirely, ate far too much junk, and now I start that negative thinking pattern......you know the one....."well, I've already screwed up today by not working out and eating that chocolate bar, I might as well eat half a pizza to go with it!" I don't want it to happen, I hope it's not happening, but I need some advise on how to push those negative thoughts away and focus on the positive. I don't have my fitness goals written down. Thought I might do that tomorrow (that's something that Tom V. advocates). What else do some of you do when/if those bad weeks and negative thoughts creep up on you? I need a good kick in the behind to get me going again!
 
I kinda get out my Attitude Adjustment books. I have this one that says, Attitude is Everything. I just purchased this book. Read it once in the library version and now I am reading it again. The thing I find is you might have to watch your *self-talk* Watch what you are saying to yourself about falling off. Don't claim it. I was told to just get the ball rolling again. slow push. You know you can. What ever you do, don't beat yourself down. This happens to every single living person doing any exercise program or on their way to any of their goals. Think Michael Jordan and keep shooting.

Remember: you are not alone.

~~TyTbody~~
Working towards Perpetual Motion
 
I want to share a mindset that I used when I quit smoking. You say that you tend to eat poorly when having stress or PMS, so I will use that as the example.

When I used to smoke, I'd have one to feel better, more relaxed, destressed or calm about a situation. But when I quit smoking, I discovered that it was stoking the habit that made me calmer, not the smoking itself. And, by the way, whether I lit up or not did not change the situation itself.

So what I'm proposing is that you look at your stress or PMS in a different way. Is that candy (donut, whatever) really going to change what's happening to you or change the event occurring? No. Once you eat whatever you eat, the situation is still right there in your face to be dealt with.

What's making you feel calm (and probably guilty) is the ritualistic habit that you have in place to deal with stress. You have trained your body that food is soothing. What you need to do now is find a different ritualistic habit that is soothing to replace the eating. Try keeping something soft, fuzzy, or silky and running it through your hands. Maybe a scarf. Or wear a bracelet that you can finger. Get a worry stone. Go into the bathroom and tapdance. Anything that is distinctive that you can do to take off that edge. You may even find that putting pressure on the web between your thumb and forefinger could do it for you. Acupressure does have some advantages.

At first, it's gonna suck. But a habit can be made or broken in a short amount of time. You must say to yourself, "Is this situation going to change if I eat that Krispy Kreme? No, it won't." And look at the situation as a whole and not focus on the chocolate.

As for the exercise, no one will do it for you but you. Make a committment and keep it. If I may continue to be honest, it sounds a bit like you don't feel you deserve to be a hottie. Take a hard hard look at some of your inner issues and see what's going on there. Start a journal. Or a couple of journals. Do a food journal and hold yourself accountable. Do an emotional journal and when you are having a crap day, write it all out instead of stuffing your mouth with junk. Do a fitness journal and write out some realistic goals (like lose one pound in 2 weeks) and record your workouts and the weights you've used and the progress you've made. And get about 2 weeks worth of menu plans together and stick with that. Do the shopping and fix the meals.

But the most important part here is just because you have a crap day doesn't mean you must eat it!! You said, "I don't want it to happen, I hope it's not happening, but I need some advise..." Don't hope for anything. Take that inner strength I know you have and put it to work and take charge and control and do not let it happen.

You can do this. I know you can! But you must decide... Will you or won't you? And don't forget you are not alone. I don't think any of us can do this all alone. That's why we're all here!!! You can do this. One day at a time. Starting today.

And I can't help but remind you that exercise is THE best stress relief!! Use that to your advantage.
 
I too need help in the eating are so I won't offer any advice there. I do workout consitantly though. I've been sick for about three weeks now and the no working out is about to drive me insane! You said that you will start a tough workout regimine and then not stick to it. Why don't you do one tough week then plan one easier to moderate week then rotate between tough and easy to moderate. Maybe this would help you stick with exercise. Then do two weeks of tough and one week easy, etc... Also, when I don't feel like working out, I usually talk myself into putting my workout clothes on and beginning the workout. If after 10 to 20 minutes I'm just too tired or whatever I give myself permission to quit. Usually, once I start the endorphines kick in and I'm so glad I went ahead and worked out. Also, plan more rest days. Good luck to you...you are probably making more progess then you think b/c you are working on this problem. Don't give up!
Angela:7
 
Bestoutwest, I know the feeling ! I just had a bad day yesturday x( .I'm so glad you wrote your post ,cuz really it does mean your working at it !!! :) :) . Don't be so hard on yourself .When I'm hard on myself I do end up turning one day into two ,then a week ...then well its over . But remember this isnt a "Diet ".Its a "Lifestyle change ".So theres really no going "Off" of it . ... I remember you posted not to long ago ...Someone brought to your work "Krispy creams" And you were so proud that you turned them down :) :) :) .Your post helped me that day:) :) . Any how your human and you should indulge once in awhile .Just get back at it .And remember you deserve to well make those life style changes :) :) ..I also read Dr Phils Book " The Weight loss Challenge." It has great pointers on how to deal with those moments !!!! Keep writing ,Its such a great support system:) :) :)
 
I have this mantra at such times: Start over, start over, start over.

If I miss some workouts for some reason, I make sure to start over the next day with whatever workout I planned on doing that day. The workouts I skipped remain lost. I don't think about them anymore. I simply move on. Thinking about what I missed distracts from the now.

If I stuff my face, I start over the very next meal. No waiting for tomorrow, next week, next month. The very next meal, I bring out the chicken breast, spinach and green beans. Or slow-cooking oatmeal cooked in fat-free milk with wheat germ mixed in. Or whatever healthy food is left in the fridge and pantry. Again, I move on. Chastising myself for what has already been done distracts from the now.

Pinky
 
Thanks for all the words of encouragement!!! I knew that's exactly what I would get and I guess I needed to hear it!! I really like the idea about the different journals. I do keep a log of my workouts, but it doesn't have room for anything else. It would help to have a place to "vent" to myself.

As soon as I'm done browsing the forum, I'm going to workout. Then it's chicken breasts for dinner!!! Thanks to you all!! That's why I love this place!:)
 
When I have a bad day, I try not to dwell on it and feel guilty. There is nothing you can do to change the past....you can only move forward and try a little harder to be more disciplined. I have a bad habit of wanting to reward myself with food, but then I think of a role model (Cathe for example) and I visualize becoming fit and eating clean and realizing I don't have to reward myself with food....and I do something else enjoyable for myself. When I absolutely must have chocolate (which happens often), I allow myself a small amount and make sure I don't pig out or go overboard. I have a tendency to "overdo" things, as I'm currently working a 12-step recovery program for an addiction. I tend to be a very depressed person and working out helps my self-esteem and confidence, as well as stress and depression. Try to focus on those aspects of being active and eating clean and just remember not to be too hard on yourself. Just because you have 1 or 2 bad days doesn't mean you have to let yourself go. You're in control of your life and you can do it. Pray for help from a higher power (sounds hokey ...but it helps).
 
That was beautiful Pinky. I said it to myself as I was reading and it felt like I needed to hear that. Thanks.
 
it may be nice if you come to the computer often to start an on-line journal. I have one at Livejournal.com and there is also bravenet. you can write till your hearts content. you can even mail in your entry. I love it.
 
What you describe sounds very familiar to me. I call it "fear of success". I don't have it so much with eating anymore, but I do suffer with it in other areas of my life. I haven't found an answer yet, but maybe this website will help you to identify the problem a bit better: http://www.coping.org/growth/success.htm#What

In the end, I think it comes down to giving yourself permission to succeed. There's even a book called Permission To Succeed by Noah St. John which is very interesting, in which he talks about "success anorexia". http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/1558747192/103-2556170-0502220 The book is very interesting, but to be frank, this is the most challenging problem I've ever dealt with, bar none. Dealing with this success issue makes quitting smoking look like a day in the park. I am perpetually looking for information that can help me with it, and always open to new ideas. Beating this thing has become a lifelong pursuit.
 
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