SAHM need reassurance

[fitmom24]

>I've been a SAHM now for almost 16 years and have definitely
>felt the urge to get back to working (my youngest just turned
>However, I've found that my kids need me even more as they get
>into school full-time. Our elementary school requests a lot
>of parent participation in the classroom and my kids really
>loved having me there in the earlier grades for field trips,
>class parties, and just times that I was there to volunteer to
>help out the teacher with classroom activities. Once the kids
>get into middle school/high school, they are home early -
>around 3pm here - and I like being home when they get home.
>Plus, I'm always driving them around to activities and appts.
>My dd's preschool also requests a lot of parent participation
>and my dd is so happy to have me involved.
>
>>Erica

I totally agree with Erica. I worked full-time until my 3rd was born and decided to stay home. I have 4 now, they range in age from 21 mo. to 15 1/2. I thought that as they got older they would need me less. Wrong! They are just as needy as they get older, just in different ways.

I have been able to stay on top of what is going on with the teenagers by being home before they go to school and when they get home. My kids are good kids but the oldest fell into the wrong crowd as a freshman. I was able to pick up on alot of clues that I would have missed if I hadn't been here during the afternoons.

They have all enjoyed my being able to volunteer at school, drop them off, pick them up and participate as room mom, chaperone etc. well, maybe not chaperone!

Anyway, you really have to do what you feel most comfy with. It's not an easy decision to make but whatever you decide, it will be right for you and your family. Best wishes!

 

[charlotteyochem]

Lorrie:

Are you a litigator? Because that, obviously, will limit your options. I also am a lawyer with two children, now out of the house at college. As you know, most firms want all or nothing. I now wear two hats and call my own shots so that my schedule is under my control: I have an estate planning law practice with another woman and also am an investment advisor with a private firm. Both practices feed off each other and conform to my schedule. I have never made more money in my life, so do not believe anyone who tells you your income will suffer if you design it your way.

I strongly recommend looking at an untraditional course of business like this. Looking back, it's hard not to resent the firm I used to slave for, but it really is just their environment and it just took me awhile to get smart (and desparate) enough to figure another way around it.

 

[candi]

Lorrie,

It sounds like you worked things out.

I find that whether I was a working Mom or after my daughter was grown and gone, a working woman...in both cases the rushing never ceases until the weekend!

 

[MadnNatsmom]

WARNING: Harsh Opinion Ahead.

I've been a SAHM for 9 years and have recently started a part-time job. I never thought I was cut out to be a SAHM (heck, I never thought I'd be a mom), but after holding my son in my arms I felt something in me that I've never felt before.

I wish I didn't have to work, but our increasing financial needs demand it.

Anyway, I don't think it's a tough choice at all. When you decide to have children you have to make sacrifices. Period. No, ifs, ands or buts. Unforuntately, in our society and most societies, it is the mother who must make the most sacrifices, no matter how helpful and involved the father is.

Children want their mommies, and because WE CHOSE to bring these precious miracles into the world, we have the obligation of being available to them.

Unfulfilled? Your chiildren will not need you forever. There will come a time when they'd rather be with their buddies.

You have the rest of your life to be fulfilled. Was it Gloria Steinem who said "a woman CAN have it all. Just not all at the same time."

Motherhood is the toughest job in the world. But, the rewards are immeasurable. I think you're doing the right thing and so do your children. Ask them.