I have some advise, if you don't mind. I am NOT a counselor, but I can tell you first hand that this works.
First, show them love. They need that desperately right now. Love comes in many forms and is shown in many ways. Depending on how well you know them, consider helping them out around the house, like cleaning, offering a cooked meal, offering to go grocery shopping for them, etc. You would be AMAZED at how much this helps. Recently I lost someone dear to me, and my neighbors all kept my grass cut and hedges trimmed and lawn watered. What a blessing.
Second, give them space when they need it and don't take it personally if they don't want physical company. However, offer spritiual company by offering words of compassion and hope (either through scripture, a poem, etc.) written in a card.
Third, don't say "If you ever need anything, please give me a call" because 99% of the people WON'T call someone when they need something. Be sure to call them periodically and offer to do something for them, or JUST LISTEN!!!
Fourth, pray for them, and let them KNOW that you are praying for them. Many a mended heart came to be through intercessory prayer. I loved knowing that I was being prayed for, because I didn't have the words to pray myself.
Fifth, DON'T expect them to be better two months from now because time has passed. Chances are, they will be worse off then they are now BECAUSE time has passed and the realization of it all hits home. We are greiving MORE now than we did 4 months ago. Life has gone back to normal for everyone else, and our hearts, and lives, have a hole the size of a watermelon. DON'T disappear from them a couple of months from now just because life has gone back to normal, or so it seems. My truest friends are those who are still here, willing to help, and mostly...willing to listen.
That about sums it up for me. Like I say, I am not a therapist, just someone who is dealing with grief. I hope this helps.
God Bless You as you offer encouragement and support to this incredibly hurt and broken family. May you know when to talk and when to be quiet, when to cry and when to stand tall, when to offer compassion, and when to show compassion, when to be there physically, or not; and, to always be there, praying for them to the One who knows all, sees all, and feels their pain.
