Rude or not?

[ellesan]

It seems like this is just the one final thing that annoyed you after a long day of travelling and lugging your bags around.

I understand that you were tired, on a budget and not in the mood for the experience but most likely your husband's family really didn't mean to be rude. They probably thought it would be a cool thing for you to do on your vacation since that restaurant is a trendy thing right now.

As for making you pay your own way, I find that kind of weird since my family would have paid if they were taking me out and probably would have arranged transportation to their place so i wouldn't have to lug my bags around town too. Having said that, i have come to understand that people behave different from what i may expect them to in certain situations. They probably have no idea that you were upset either since you didn't speak up in an effort to be respectful.

At the end of the day, it's your family even if it's through marriage. If you don't feel you can speak up and your husband won't then you need to let it go and accept that that is the way they are.

You are so right, very well said. I just don't feel like I fit in. They are so nice, but very controlling and my DH doesn't see it because he's used to it. When 90% of the conversations are in a different language that doesn't get translated, it's very frustrating. I won't be going on further vacations with them--not worth the stress for any of us. That way my DH can enjoy it and won't feel caught in the middle

 

[NY25]

I will admit that it was presumptuous of them to assume you would want to go there and particularly to not keep your budget in mind. However, I also think they were just genuinely trying to surprise you with an experience you simply can't get everywhere. You do need to keep your particular destination city in mind, as well. Montreal is a bit more cosmopolitan, and is a food destination city. As such, average prices are a bit higher than rural or mid-town USA. If $40 a head is the "all in" price (entree, beverage, tip, at a minimum) for the full meal, I hate to say it, that's not expensive for a real restaurant. (NO OFFENSE to anyone, but Applebees and chain type restaurants aren't real restaurants - they're fancy fast food). I'm in NY and $40 is CHEAP for a full meal, unless you're eating at a very small place or a pub. I've eaten in Montreal and found a meal (app, entree, dessert and wine) for about $75; sushi was about $40. And this restaurant is also including the "experience" in the price. Again, I agree it was a little insensitive on the part of your relatives, but I believe their intentions were good, just not well thought out. I would reflect on it and say you know what, I spent a little more than I wanted to, but I'll be able to laugh about this later and it will make for a great story - eating in the dark. I've only seen that on an episode of CSI!! You can make up for the added expense by cutting back somewhere else. You only live once!!