regrets

S

smurfette

Cathlete
I tried to do a couple of BFL rounds last year. It was tough and the I didn't ever finish a whole round. Something always happened, sickness, problems, you name it.

At the time I didn't give myself credit for what I was trying to accomplish. I documented my journey with photos and even lined them up chronologically so i could see my progress.

After finishing my last try, I was so discouraged. I felt like a big fat failure! I hadn't reached my weight or size goals. Don't get my wrong-there was definite progress. But It didn't FEEL like progress.

Now I'm back up 10 pounds this year and getting started again. I look back t my pictures and I WAS DOING GREAT!!!!!!!

Why in the heck i couldn't appreciate what I was accomplishing then, I still do not know.

Somehow I've got to tap into reality and appreciate what I'm trying to do.

Do you ever feel like you are working against yourself when you are your own best friend?

Just some Sunday morning thoughts everyone!

Danna
 
I tried to do a couple of BFL rounds last year. It was tough and the I didn't ever finish a whole round. Something always happened, sickness, problems, you name it.

At the time I didn't give myself credit for what I was trying to accomplish. I documented my journey with photos and even lined them up chronologically so i could see my progress.

After finishing my last try, I was so discouraged. I felt like a big fat failure! I hadn't reached my weight or size goals. Don't get my wrong-there was definite progress. But It didn't FEEL like progress.

Now I'm back up 10 pounds this year and getting started again. I look back t my pictures and I WAS DOING GREAT!!!!!!!

Why in the heck i couldn't appreciate what I was accomplishing then, I still do not know.

Somehow I've got to tap into reality and appreciate what I'm trying to do.

Do you ever feel like you are working against yourself when you are your own best friend?

Just some Sunday morning thoughts everyone!

Danna
 
It's happened to me a lot, actually. I think it's a foible of human nature that we don't know what we have until we lose it, and we only appreciate what we had in hindsight. I think it's really important, although not always easy to accomplish, to appreciate where you are RIGHT NOW, while still trying to improve. It may sound silly, but there's always lots to appreciate about where you are RIGHT NOW. If you do, then the process of improvement actually becomes fun. This is a constant struggle for me, but lately I seem to be winning the battle. Thanks for sharing your Sunday morning thoughts! :)
-Nancy
 
It's happened to me a lot, actually. I think it's a foible of human nature that we don't know what we have until we lose it, and we only appreciate what we had in hindsight. I think it's really important, although not always easy to accomplish, to appreciate where you are RIGHT NOW, while still trying to improve. It may sound silly, but there's always lots to appreciate about where you are RIGHT NOW. If you do, then the process of improvement actually becomes fun. This is a constant struggle for me, but lately I seem to be winning the battle. Thanks for sharing your Sunday morning thoughts! :)
-Nancy
 
Ditto to Nancy once again!

Nancy -- rockin' attitude!

Danna, I think sometimes we make overly ambitious plans or commitments, then feel a sense of failure when our follow-through doesn't hit that high-water mark. I'm guilty of this myself and I think it's a behavior to which busy women are particularly vulnerable. We're sort of culturally trained to be the caretakers of the universe, and it's very hard for us to say "No" or even "That's good enough, that's all I have to give." It's an ongoing task for me to appreciate the successes that I AM having, and to set goals for myself and make commitments that allow me to strive and reach, but are realistic, too.

One of the issues that I have with programs like BFL and the way they're advertised and promoted and set up is that they're so structured and so ambitious they practically invite small failures. In fact, don't even call them failures -- call them lapses, or perhaps "periods of lesser progress." But do you see what I mean? Nancy's so right -- if you want to commit to a structured program like BFL or what have you, I hope you'll EQUALLY commit to trying to allow yourself to have those "periods of lesser progress" but also to CELEBRATE the progress you ARE making. :)


http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0903/sport/sport-smiley-003.gif Kathy S. http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0903/spezial/spudniks/spudniklifter.gif
 
Ditto to Nancy once again!

Nancy -- rockin' attitude!

Danna, I think sometimes we make overly ambitious plans or commitments, then feel a sense of failure when our follow-through doesn't hit that high-water mark. I'm guilty of this myself and I think it's a behavior to which busy women are particularly vulnerable. We're sort of culturally trained to be the caretakers of the universe, and it's very hard for us to say "No" or even "That's good enough, that's all I have to give." It's an ongoing task for me to appreciate the successes that I AM having, and to set goals for myself and make commitments that allow me to strive and reach, but are realistic, too.

One of the issues that I have with programs like BFL and the way they're advertised and promoted and set up is that they're so structured and so ambitious they practically invite small failures. In fact, don't even call them failures -- call them lapses, or perhaps "periods of lesser progress." But do you see what I mean? Nancy's so right -- if you want to commit to a structured program like BFL or what have you, I hope you'll EQUALLY commit to trying to allow yourself to have those "periods of lesser progress" but also to CELEBRATE the progress you ARE making. :)


http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0903/sport/sport-smiley-003.gif Kathy S. http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0903/spezial/spudniks/spudniklifter.gif
 
RE: Ditto to Nancy once again!

I could be wrong, but isn't this a lot like "Gawd! I wish I'd known how beautiful I was when I was 23!"

I am 46 by the way. When I was 23 there was sooooo much "wrong" with me. Little did I know! I wish I'd enjoyed it then.

Same with fitness. Nancy's post was brilliant.
 
RE: Ditto to Nancy once again!

I could be wrong, but isn't this a lot like "Gawd! I wish I'd known how beautiful I was when I was 23!"

I am 46 by the way. When I was 23 there was sooooo much "wrong" with me. Little did I know! I wish I'd enjoyed it then.

Same with fitness. Nancy's post was brilliant.
 
i've felt that way and gotten discouraged and then bottomed out. and i've had the same type of interruptions we all do, personal illness, family tragedies, life in general.

i've decided to change the way i approach goal setting. yes, i still have a magic number on the scale that i want to hit (terrible, we all know the scale is the enemy). but i don't give myself a deadline anymore. all i ask of myself is to improve each time i work out. and to work toward improving my nutrition. there are times when i will miss a workout. there are times when i'm going to want to treat myself with something yummy. but beating myself up doesn't help. one thing Bill Phillips told me (yes, i was lucky enough to meet him, what a dreamboat) was that it was what you did most of the time that matters.

getting in great physical shape is a slow and steady process. and this is a lifetime commitment we must make. not a 30 day quick fix.

i hope you stay motivated. get past those regrets and focus on the present and the future! :)
 
i've felt that way and gotten discouraged and then bottomed out. and i've had the same type of interruptions we all do, personal illness, family tragedies, life in general.

i've decided to change the way i approach goal setting. yes, i still have a magic number on the scale that i want to hit (terrible, we all know the scale is the enemy). but i don't give myself a deadline anymore. all i ask of myself is to improve each time i work out. and to work toward improving my nutrition. there are times when i will miss a workout. there are times when i'm going to want to treat myself with something yummy. but beating myself up doesn't help. one thing Bill Phillips told me (yes, i was lucky enough to meet him, what a dreamboat) was that it was what you did most of the time that matters.

getting in great physical shape is a slow and steady process. and this is a lifetime commitment we must make. not a 30 day quick fix.

i hope you stay motivated. get past those regrets and focus on the present and the future! :)
 
Wonderful posts everyone. Thank so much for responding. I can't tell you how much it means to me to hear your thoughts and reflections on this matter.

It has only been in the last few months that I have been able to find the source of my frustration- the unrealistic expectations.

It feels so good to know that i'm not broken and all of this is just a process.

Here's to a great fitness journey everyone!!

Danna
 
I'm so there with you! I put on 10 pounds in the fall of last year. Before I put on those 10 pounds I thought I needed to lose 10, and didn't think I looked good. Now I look back at it and think, gee I was doing great! Why couldn't I see that and be proud of myself at the time? I'm working on the 10 pound thing again. I'm down 4 so far, but it always seems like I want to lose, "just 10 pounds!". It's very frustrating, I need to learn to love my body, and not hate it because it doesn't look like the models in the magazines. Why is that so hard though? Cna anyone shed some light? How about slap me around until I get it?:)
I'm glad I'm not the only one that keeps beating myself up. Thanks Danna!

Kathy
 
I talked with my therapis today and wow, what a revelation.

I am waaaaaaaaaay too hard on myself. Lots of pressure to perform, compete, succeed.

It isn't motvation in a healthy way, it is definitely overboard. Basically it sucks the vitality right out of you. Not a good place to be.

I've known this for awhile but I haven't been able to have a good look at it until now. I've been in survival for such a long time, you just get used to it.

That's why i couldn't appreciate what I was doing at the time. How far i have come. Can't see the forest for the trees kind of thing.

Well, it is time to let it go.

I think what I'm going to do is make a list of what my expectations are with regards to fitness. And make a separate list for what is reasonable to actually accomplish.

Giving yourself positive feedback is a nother help. It can be sooo difficult to catch all the little negative comments i make about myself during the day. They really add up!!

Somehow I've got to kill this idea that it is all or nothing. Either looking like Cathe or not doing it at all. How is that for some good extremes !!!

I sure appreciate that comment by Bill Phillips. It's such a temptation to be caught up in the moment and excitement of what people have accomplished and wishing that you had it too.

I think it takes much more work to base your expectations in reality with good strong healthy goals and take them one by one instead of putting all your hopes in one basket. Then, when that basket gets dumped over, you aren't left doubting your own value.

Danna
 
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