Question for moms...

C

Calee

Cathlete
I maybe should post this over in the post partum forum, but I thought more people would see it here.
If you don't mind me asking, how old were you when you had your first child?
Hubby and I are starting to think about it, but there are so many factors that go into planning and timing as you all know. I don't know if I'm making the right choice if I decide to wait a few more years or wonder if I'll regret not starting sooner.
Thanks for the input!
Calee
 
Calee,

You know what, you can plan and plan and plan...and then things just happen when they are suppose to happen.

Sorry I do not have any better advice, but best of everything to you and DH.
 
Hi Calee,
I think I may be able to give you some friendly input here:7 I have four kids. Two were born in my early twenties but the other two weren't born until my mid thirties!Needless to say they were two very different experiences in a multitude of ways--still are!

You didn't say how old you are though? It's hard to say if waiting a few more years is too long without knowing where you are starting from.

Unfortunately I don't have time right now to type much more because it's morning workout timex(

There really are definite pros and cons to each so it really depends on what you value most and what kinds of sacrifices you decide to make. The bottom line though is that I don't regret anyone of my kids or their timing coming into the world.

Are you wondering mostly about the physical consequences of being older during a pregnancy and delivery? That definitely gets tougher.

Anyway, check back in and if you really want any more of my thoughts on the subject I'd be happy to share

:D Have a great day
Kerry
 
26 and married 6 years with the first, 31 with the second.

The hard part about this is I don't think anyone can be completely ready for this, and if you say you are, I don't believe you. It is a major life change, and you can read and prepare and love babies all you want, you will be dealing with the unexpected.

Would I change anything.....nope. Totally worth it.
 
I was 33 when I had my first. About 1 1/2 years later, I got pg again, but miscarried, then it took me quite a while to get pg again. Looking back, I think I probably should have started earlier, because now I definitely have some regret about not having a third, and I think our ages could have made a difference in our trying again.
 
I was 32 when I had twin girls who are 6 (almost 7) now. We do not plan to have any more.

From my experience, it seems like a good thing to spend a couple of years together as a couple enjoying travel, going out and other types of frivolity. Once that seems stale, if there is a desire for kids, that is probably the time (assuming the marriage is strong).

I have friends who were my age with their first child. And then 2-3 years later had their second. Some are considering a third, but are worried they are too old (late 30's). According to their doctors, they are not. The doctors are encouraging even into the early 40's.

Good luck with your decision. If you are in a loving, stable marriage, if you and your husband are mentally ready to handle big changes in your life and your finances allow you to provide food, clothing, shelter and love to the child (without extreme stresses), I think you will be fine at any age.
 
I was 29 with my first, 32 with my second and 37 with my third.

If we had "planned" any of our children, we would never have had any. There was always something going on that would have made us think that it wasn't a good time! My third was my most thought-out decision to get pregnant and it's turned out to be wonderful, although still not the best time to have a baby!:D
 
Ditto! The only one I planned was the third one and even that was because of an "oops" that I miscarried. I was so disappointed that I miscarried that that is when I realized I really did want more children!
 
I guess I'm the youngin' here. I was 21 when I had my first dd, and then my dd's are all 2 yrs apart. (ages 8, almost 6, and 3 1/2 now) My dh & I got married young (I was 19, he was 22), and we wanted to have our kids while we're young enough to keep up w/ them!

I love having my kids closer in age & that I'm not even 30 (well, I will be in May) & my kids are getting old enough to do fun stuff as a family.

It's all a personal preference. My best friend just got married last year & is hoping to start a family soon & she's 31. I think my kids will make good babysitters for my friend's kids. ;-)

Good luck!
 
I was 30 when I had my fist twin girls they are 6 and I was 32 when I had my son. That is it for me I had hyperemesis could not keep food or liquid down for the first 5 months lost 25 lbs both pregnancies and had my tubes tied.

I am a little disappointed because I do love my children and would have had lots more if I wouldn't have had the condition.

You will never be ready for starting a family so many unexpected turns in life. It truly does not matter how, young or old, financial set or educated or career stable anyone is. LIFE changes and we can not stop that. Every parent wants the best for their children its what comes from the heart and what you do with the blessings you have been given.

God Bless you and their is no right answer for this question. You just jump in with 2 feet.

beth6395
 
I was really young when I had my son..I had him when I was 18, then I had my daughter when I was 20...they are 17 months apart.
I wouldn't change it for the world. I am now 35 and my kids are 15 & (soon t/b)16..

Everyone is different though, Best of luck to you and your DH.
Take care!!


"Today is a Gift, Have Fun"

~Jennifer~:)
 
I got marry at 20 and had my first son @ 22 and had my second 7 years later which we planned:). I am glad that we did it young but that is what we wanted. I think you should do what is best for you.
 
I was 30 when I had my first son, now 6 and 34 when I had my second son who is now 3. For me it was the right time to have kids. I would not have been ready if I had them in my 20's. Good luck on your decision.

Lea
 
I had my first at 21 and my second at 23. I actually wanted 2 kids before the age of 25. It was tough when they were young but now they're 20 and almost 18 and I'm glad I had them when I did. I kind of miss them being young but I'm also glad I finally have time for myself again.
 
I was 35, 37 and 40. But then again DH and I dated for 13 years and did all that fun and important stuff early on (like he went to South Africa and fought Apartheid with Mr. Mandela - etc). So when we finally decided to get married we didn't really want to waste any time. I had no trouble getting pregnant with #1, a hard time with #2, then miscarried, and #3 was a surprise. It's always a hard decision, good luck.

Lorrie

Pain is temporary - quitting lasts forever
Candace Grasso, CC-V-6
 
I was young, 23 when I concieved, 24 when I gave birth, but only 2 weeks into my 24th year. I didn't give myself much time to think about it. I panicked when I found out I was pregnant, only because at that time I didn't think it would happen just 2 months after getting married. I thought financially we weren't ready, and I didn't feel responsibly enough. But it's a good thing that God gives you 9 months to get ready. And the financial part, you just get used to it. You'll never feel financially ready, so don't wait for that to happen.
As far as any other kids go, that has been a challenge, to say the least. My body just doesn't want to go through it all again now, I guess. Either that or God has other plans for me. I'm not sure which. Maybe a bit of both. But my son is almost 7 years old and he's the love of my life. I wouldn't trade him for anything.

Kathy
 
both of my children were "pleasent surprises"!I was 22 with my first and 25 with my second,and they teach me more, then I teach them.

I NEVER regret having them,but however i do wish sometimes that i could have had them "later" in life. But just like my mom says,in twenty years its not gonna matter,your(me) just gonna see it as a challenge.I go to college part time and wish I could go full time,but that would be strecthing myself too thin I'm afraid!

so anyways,I agree with everybody else when I say your never really ready for children,no matter how much your prepared!
I'ts never what you expect,at least it wasn't for me:)!

They'll always be my greatest achievements!!!

Amy:)
 
Hi,
I was 26 years old with my first, 27 and 1/2 with the second, 30 with the 3rd and 33 with my fourth. I wouldn't change a thing! The fourth was an oops but my what a blessed oops!! If you think you have to wait until the timing is just right it will never happen. Life never goes exactly as planned so just live your life and let things happen. I have to admit the first one took awhile before I was pregnant and then we thought we would have problems conceiving #2; but got pregnant with her on the first try.
Good Luck
Jen
 
I had my son at 30. 18 months later I was diagnosed with invasive cervical cancer and had to have a hysterectomy. I thank God we didn't wait any longer. I say just do it. You will have nine months to think about it and plan plan plan.:D
 
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