Hi all,
I haven't posted in ages, and it's been such a busy summer for us I haven't been on the forum in a LONG time. I happened to check in today because I had a moment and I've been beating up on myself a bit.
Cathe is awesome. I have lost about 80 or so pounds thanks to Cathe. I worked up to running half-marathons and marathons because of Cathe tapes.
I still look like and am a fat girl though! I could weigh about 20 pounds less than I do. People do not realize how "fit" I am to look at me. I am 5'2", 140-145 pounds and have run a 4-hour marathon (hilly one too). My best "block" of training has been a 48-mile bike ride with an 8.5 mile run!
I can't seem to care enough about losing weight at this point to do anything about the extra weight... it's a little frustrating to have a week where you run a little over 30 miles, lift weights and bike around 50 miles and STILL manage to gain a pound or two, so I am REALLY trying to stay off the scale, focus on eating (or not focus on it if focusing on it is the problem at that given moment).
I love to eat. I also don't really care about food... meaning when I binge eat it doesn't matter what I'm eating.
I don't know that I'll ever lose the 20 pounds, but I do know that I am a hell of a lot fitter than I have ever been. I know that the running (and Cathe cardio workouts when I'm not on a specific training program), Cathe weight tapes, etc. are a positive thing in my life.
It can be SO hard to keep in mind that I'm not exercising to LOOK a certain way, to WEIGH a certain number or to PROVE something to the chick next to me... but I am doing it for me. Me?! Yes, me. No additional justifications required.
I work over 40 hours a week, my husband works like 60 or more hours a week, and we have one child. Yes, sometimes I am WAY stressed and psycho and it's hard to be grateful for and see what we should see as blessings. We see the bad stuff. We are impatient and resentful and mean-spirited. We don't know how to be happy and in the moment.
I am around so many people who are fitter than me, skinnier than me, more athletic than me that it becomes all too easy to get lost in the negativity of me versus them. If I can't be like so-and-so, then I don't want to do anything. When I'm in that mental place -- that's my definition of a bad day.
I actually have been monitoring my exercise and myself a little bit better, because I started running with some other people, and I think I was pushing way too hard. I was more tired, more angry, more likely to just freak out on my family over little things. I have just read "Training for Endurance," and I think I need to incorporate some of that into what I am doing in order to feel better and make progress with my fitness -- both mentally and physically.
Yes, eating better and healthier and not wrecking the good things I do for myself with all the binging would also help tremendously! Duh! I'm not trying to ignore the obvious solution.
I do keep getting better though, and, while it sometimes feels like I am taking three steps back for every three forward... occasionally I go manage to get a step ahead and that still DOES count as progress.
I always recommend Cathe's tapes/DVDs to people that I meet as well as this website and these forums.
Thanks all of you for your stories, your inspiration... your strength. I've missed checking in here!
Take care,
Zoelda
I haven't posted in ages, and it's been such a busy summer for us I haven't been on the forum in a LONG time. I happened to check in today because I had a moment and I've been beating up on myself a bit.
Cathe is awesome. I have lost about 80 or so pounds thanks to Cathe. I worked up to running half-marathons and marathons because of Cathe tapes.
I still look like and am a fat girl though! I could weigh about 20 pounds less than I do. People do not realize how "fit" I am to look at me. I am 5'2", 140-145 pounds and have run a 4-hour marathon (hilly one too). My best "block" of training has been a 48-mile bike ride with an 8.5 mile run!
I can't seem to care enough about losing weight at this point to do anything about the extra weight... it's a little frustrating to have a week where you run a little over 30 miles, lift weights and bike around 50 miles and STILL manage to gain a pound or two, so I am REALLY trying to stay off the scale, focus on eating (or not focus on it if focusing on it is the problem at that given moment).
I love to eat. I also don't really care about food... meaning when I binge eat it doesn't matter what I'm eating.
I don't know that I'll ever lose the 20 pounds, but I do know that I am a hell of a lot fitter than I have ever been. I know that the running (and Cathe cardio workouts when I'm not on a specific training program), Cathe weight tapes, etc. are a positive thing in my life.
It can be SO hard to keep in mind that I'm not exercising to LOOK a certain way, to WEIGH a certain number or to PROVE something to the chick next to me... but I am doing it for me. Me?! Yes, me. No additional justifications required.
I work over 40 hours a week, my husband works like 60 or more hours a week, and we have one child. Yes, sometimes I am WAY stressed and psycho and it's hard to be grateful for and see what we should see as blessings. We see the bad stuff. We are impatient and resentful and mean-spirited. We don't know how to be happy and in the moment.
I am around so many people who are fitter than me, skinnier than me, more athletic than me that it becomes all too easy to get lost in the negativity of me versus them. If I can't be like so-and-so, then I don't want to do anything. When I'm in that mental place -- that's my definition of a bad day.
I actually have been monitoring my exercise and myself a little bit better, because I started running with some other people, and I think I was pushing way too hard. I was more tired, more angry, more likely to just freak out on my family over little things. I have just read "Training for Endurance," and I think I need to incorporate some of that into what I am doing in order to feel better and make progress with my fitness -- both mentally and physically.
Yes, eating better and healthier and not wrecking the good things I do for myself with all the binging would also help tremendously! Duh! I'm not trying to ignore the obvious solution.
I do keep getting better though, and, while it sometimes feels like I am taking three steps back for every three forward... occasionally I go manage to get a step ahead and that still DOES count as progress.
I always recommend Cathe's tapes/DVDs to people that I meet as well as this website and these forums.
Thanks all of you for your stories, your inspiration... your strength. I've missed checking in here!
Take care,
Zoelda