Progress, plateaus and perseverence

zoelda

Cathlete
Hi all,

I haven't posted in ages, and it's been such a busy summer for us I haven't been on the forum in a LONG time. I happened to check in today because I had a moment and I've been beating up on myself a bit.

Cathe is awesome. I have lost about 80 or so pounds thanks to Cathe. I worked up to running half-marathons and marathons because of Cathe tapes.

I still look like and am a fat girl though! I could weigh about 20 pounds less than I do. People do not realize how "fit" I am to look at me. I am 5'2", 140-145 pounds and have run a 4-hour marathon (hilly one too). My best "block" of training has been a 48-mile bike ride with an 8.5 mile run!

I can't seem to care enough about losing weight at this point to do anything about the extra weight... it's a little frustrating to have a week where you run a little over 30 miles, lift weights and bike around 50 miles and STILL manage to gain a pound or two, so I am REALLY trying to stay off the scale, focus on eating (or not focus on it if focusing on it is the problem at that given moment).

I love to eat. I also don't really care about food... meaning when I binge eat it doesn't matter what I'm eating.

I don't know that I'll ever lose the 20 pounds, but I do know that I am a hell of a lot fitter than I have ever been. I know that the running (and Cathe cardio workouts when I'm not on a specific training program), Cathe weight tapes, etc. are a positive thing in my life.

It can be SO hard to keep in mind that I'm not exercising to LOOK a certain way, to WEIGH a certain number or to PROVE something to the chick next to me... but I am doing it for me. Me?! Yes, me. No additional justifications required.

I work over 40 hours a week, my husband works like 60 or more hours a week, and we have one child. Yes, sometimes I am WAY stressed and psycho and it's hard to be grateful for and see what we should see as blessings. We see the bad stuff. We are impatient and resentful and mean-spirited. We don't know how to be happy and in the moment.

I am around so many people who are fitter than me, skinnier than me, more athletic than me that it becomes all too easy to get lost in the negativity of me versus them. If I can't be like so-and-so, then I don't want to do anything. When I'm in that mental place -- that's my definition of a bad day.

I actually have been monitoring my exercise and myself a little bit better, because I started running with some other people, and I think I was pushing way too hard. I was more tired, more angry, more likely to just freak out on my family over little things. I have just read "Training for Endurance," and I think I need to incorporate some of that into what I am doing in order to feel better and make progress with my fitness -- both mentally and physically.

Yes, eating better and healthier and not wrecking the good things I do for myself with all the binging would also help tremendously! Duh! I'm not trying to ignore the obvious solution.

I do keep getting better though, and, while it sometimes feels like I am taking three steps back for every three forward... occasionally I go manage to get a step ahead and that still DOES count as progress.

I always recommend Cathe's tapes/DVDs to people that I meet as well as this website and these forums.

Thanks all of you for your stories, your inspiration... your strength. I've missed checking in here!

Take care,
Zoelda
 
Hi Zoelda~Thanks for sharing your story with us. I think deep down you have the answer and it is Donna's (Gettinfit@39) motto: Fitness is a journey, NOT a race! We've all backslid, plateaued and been frustrated at times. But...you are perservering! Good for you! I think with the hours you work, raising a child and also having a hubby who works many hours are real challenges, but you still try to fit in your fitness where you can. Just the fact that you are doing it for YOU is a great thing. Keep up the good work and I KNOW you will succeed. Feeling good and getting better is also a VERY good thing. Try to pop in more often. There are always great tips/ideas on helping with the eating part of your program. Again, glad to "see" you here and congrats on losing 80+ pounds!!! :7

Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/wavey.gif If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance...I Hope You DANCE!!!
 
Debbie's said it!

Hi Zoelda!

Debbie H. has said so beautifully exactly what I thought when reading your post, so I'll just second that notion! You deserve a big ol' hug for juggling all that you have on your plate and still persisting in keeping that fit goal ahead of you. You've so much to be proud of yourself for!

Check in with us here often -- this is the most wonderful place to find encouragement, "hugs", cheers, and most of all understanding. We're here for you!

http://www.clicksmilie.de/sammlung/sport/sport003.gif Kathy S.
 
RE: Debbie's said it!

Thanks so much to both of you for the words of encouragement! They are definitely appreciated. I'm trying to be thankful for what I can do rather than angry about what I can't manage to do.

It's definitely a journey... and it's not always a linear one. When I'm feeling strong... I try to think of it as how things stay interesting.

Challenging.

It's like climbing a long hill on my road bike... if I think about how hard the hill is or how far I have to go... I can feel my heart rate go up and I start to panic. I won't make it. I can't do it. If I just hunker down and pedal and stay "in the moment" and don't think about it, don't think about speed, don't think about time, just stay with it... the hill does end and then you get a wicked fast downhill EVENTUALLY and get to have some fun.

Take care,
Zoelda
 
Zoelda,

Thank YOU for your wise words. Here I am obsessing over this layer of fat on my abs and the extra jiggle in my inner thighs that I just can't seem to burn away when I have a healthy weight well within my required range of numbers and I'm a size 2. Here I am lamenting this loose pouch in my tummy from the pregnancy that my husband SWEARS nobody notices but me. Here I am worrying about the extra carbs and fat that I just couldn't help but scarf down because I was hungry and was craving for something not just physically satisfying but psychologically comforting as well.

Thank you for slapping me back to earth. It felt good.:7 This is why I love this forum.

Pinky
 
RE: Debbie's said it!

Zoelda,

Not only is it a journey, it is a blessing that we can all move, breath, dance, and lift! It is a blessing that your body gave birth and is strong enough to carry around your baby. It is a blessing we have time to work out and that we choose to do so!

I think changing your intention on the "why" you are working out will help! Try to learn to work out for YOU!! Not to fit in a certain size or look a certain way...that will come...but, rather try to work out for peace of mind, for your own personal time away from everything and for your life.

I know I workout to feel alive, to reach goals, and to be with myself in my crazy days. Just exercise for YOU and no one else.

Jenni
 
What a great story. I love it. Why are we as women so hard on ourselves? Look at all you have done losing 80 pounds is not easy. Have you thought about cutting back on your workouts just a little and trying some different activities? This would give you sore tired muscles a little break and you will not lose your fitness level. On the weight issue, on January 1 of this year I weighted 172 with Weight Watchers I am now down to 135. A number that I thought I would never see again. The one thing I have learned on this program is portion control portion control. That is all weight watchers is about. I was 172 lbs and was doing Cathe 3-4 week. But once I started portion control I lost and can't believe I can now wear size 6 shorts.

Karen
 

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