Please ignore - accidental post
- Thread starter HollyCat
- Start date
RE: To conceive or not to conceive?
Hi Holly,
Although I do not have any kids to tell you how wonderful they are, I can tell you about my journey so far... (it's kind of long)
I was in pretty much the same position that you were. Right now I'm 27 and have been married for nearly 7 years. Hubby and I knew we had plenty of time to start a family but never really committed to the idea. Like you, I had lots of panic attacks with the reality of being a mom some day.
Well, at least a year ago hubby decided it was time to have kids. He was finally ready. Now it was my turn. Yikes. I was scared and ho-hummed about actually doing anything to allow it to happen. I wanted to finish up my college degree along with a long list of other accomplishments before any babies came. I worried about money and anything else I could think of.
I finally went off the pill a couple of months later. It was for a couple of reasons - but, not pregnancy! I was tired of the way the pill made me feel - emotional and depressed at times, etc. Also, I had two friends who got pregnant right after coming off the pill and then miscarried and they both had the hunch it was because of years on the pill and the whacked out hormones. I figured we could use other protection until I was ready and that this would be good for the baby whenever we got pregnant.
After a few months of this we started to get sloppy with the protection and I think that was good because I had the 'scare' every month wondering was it going to come or not. For me it was good to slowly get use to the idea of being pregnant. Well, over time I got more comfortable with the idea - not enough to really crave it, but, if it happened it would not be the end of the world. One day I woke up and said I'm getting older and need to start seriously considering this baby thing and that is when I started reading the book 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility'. I learned what I needed to know about all the signs of fertility. This was my new form of birth control.
A couple of months later (September) hubby and I went on a cruise and I was still unsure if getting pregnant was the right thing to do. This is something so big. So life changing. I could not look at it rationally like everything else in my life. I had nothing to help me make my decision in a scientific fashion. At this point I had just a few months of school left. I kind of said the heck with it, I'm thinking too hard about this and decided to try to get pregnant. Well, it worked. I was in shock when I took my first pregnancy test. I really did not think it would happen. I still had my doubts about how this was going to work out and if I was really ready.
Right now I'm about 17 weeks along and I can tell you I am getting more and more comfortable with the idea of being a mom. Still scared but, I imagine most women are. Last week I felt the baby move for the first time and it was so real. So happy. So right. I don't know the whys and hows yet of my life. But I can tell you that I am falling in love with this little one I carry.
My degree is now finished and I'm working on the rest of my list of accomplishments. I don't know how much I can get done, but, I certainly have the rest of my life to worry about that. I figure having kids does not mean that I have to scrap the list. I can still do the things I dream of doing...they will just be delayed a bit.
I wish you the best of luck with your decision.
Christy
EDD 6/29/04
Hi Holly,
Although I do not have any kids to tell you how wonderful they are, I can tell you about my journey so far... (it's kind of long)
I was in pretty much the same position that you were. Right now I'm 27 and have been married for nearly 7 years. Hubby and I knew we had plenty of time to start a family but never really committed to the idea. Like you, I had lots of panic attacks with the reality of being a mom some day.
Well, at least a year ago hubby decided it was time to have kids. He was finally ready. Now it was my turn. Yikes. I was scared and ho-hummed about actually doing anything to allow it to happen. I wanted to finish up my college degree along with a long list of other accomplishments before any babies came. I worried about money and anything else I could think of.
I finally went off the pill a couple of months later. It was for a couple of reasons - but, not pregnancy! I was tired of the way the pill made me feel - emotional and depressed at times, etc. Also, I had two friends who got pregnant right after coming off the pill and then miscarried and they both had the hunch it was because of years on the pill and the whacked out hormones. I figured we could use other protection until I was ready and that this would be good for the baby whenever we got pregnant.
After a few months of this we started to get sloppy with the protection and I think that was good because I had the 'scare' every month wondering was it going to come or not. For me it was good to slowly get use to the idea of being pregnant. Well, over time I got more comfortable with the idea - not enough to really crave it, but, if it happened it would not be the end of the world. One day I woke up and said I'm getting older and need to start seriously considering this baby thing and that is when I started reading the book 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility'. I learned what I needed to know about all the signs of fertility. This was my new form of birth control.
A couple of months later (September) hubby and I went on a cruise and I was still unsure if getting pregnant was the right thing to do. This is something so big. So life changing. I could not look at it rationally like everything else in my life. I had nothing to help me make my decision in a scientific fashion. At this point I had just a few months of school left. I kind of said the heck with it, I'm thinking too hard about this and decided to try to get pregnant. Well, it worked. I was in shock when I took my first pregnancy test. I really did not think it would happen. I still had my doubts about how this was going to work out and if I was really ready.
Right now I'm about 17 weeks along and I can tell you I am getting more and more comfortable with the idea of being a mom. Still scared but, I imagine most women are. Last week I felt the baby move for the first time and it was so real. So happy. So right. I don't know the whys and hows yet of my life. But I can tell you that I am falling in love with this little one I carry.
My degree is now finished and I'm working on the rest of my list of accomplishments. I don't know how much I can get done, but, I certainly have the rest of my life to worry about that. I figure having kids does not mean that I have to scrap the list. I can still do the things I dream of doing...they will just be delayed a bit.
I wish you the best of luck with your decision.
Christy
EDD 6/29/04
RE: To conceive or not to conceive?
Thanks for sharing your story, Christy. It's very encouraging! I decided to delete my original post because it didn't have anything to do with being a "fit mom", and I'm not currently pregnant, but rather on deciding whether to go off birth control and allow myself to possibly get pregnant. And the fears surrounding that decision...namely, that I'll never be able to go back to school to achieve the career I've always wanted, and that any independent life as my former "self" will come to an end. I know, it sounds so selfish!
I also worry about what will happen to me physically and that I won't be able to continue with a fitness routine...my mom had difficult pregnancies. So many fears. I'm sure all potential mothers have them.
So that's basically what I said at first.
Best wishes for the rest of your pregnancy, Christy!
Holly
Thanks for sharing your story, Christy. It's very encouraging! I decided to delete my original post because it didn't have anything to do with being a "fit mom", and I'm not currently pregnant, but rather on deciding whether to go off birth control and allow myself to possibly get pregnant. And the fears surrounding that decision...namely, that I'll never be able to go back to school to achieve the career I've always wanted, and that any independent life as my former "self" will come to an end. I know, it sounds so selfish!
I also worry about what will happen to me physically and that I won't be able to continue with a fitness routine...my mom had difficult pregnancies. So many fears. I'm sure all potential mothers have them.
So that's basically what I said at first.
Best wishes for the rest of your pregnancy, Christy!
Holly
RE: To conceive or not to conceive?
Holly,
No need to delete your post.
What better group to ask than people who are pregnant or have already been through many of the same things you are going through. I just happened to hit reply before the post got deleted...
I don't think any of your concerns are selfish. They are what I think about often and I'm sure many others as well. In my mind, you should feel proud that you are thinking things through. Kids are a big deal. I've always felt that having your life in order is the healthiest thing for you and your potential kids.
Anyway, best of luck!
Christy
EDD 6/29/04
Holly,
No need to delete your post.
What better group to ask than people who are pregnant or have already been through many of the same things you are going through. I just happened to hit reply before the post got deleted...I don't think any of your concerns are selfish. They are what I think about often and I'm sure many others as well. In my mind, you should feel proud that you are thinking things through. Kids are a big deal. I've always felt that having your life in order is the healthiest thing for you and your potential kids.
Anyway, best of luck!
Christy
EDD 6/29/04
Jennifit
Cathlete
RE: To conceive or not to conceive?
Holly!!
Wow, I completely understand what you are feeling. I am in your same situation right now. Although, I am starting to really like the idea of becoming a mom. I get on this thread all the time and just read what the mom's have to say. They give each other great support and advice and it is great to know that women who work out hard also have babies and recover even stronger than before. (Look at Cathe!)
I just went off bc last month and beginning to feel "normal" again without all those hormones and feelings that really weren't me. Something that have learned (in grad school)about mothers/women that might be of value to you is that women actually PEAK in their thirties physiologically. Meaning: their endurance levels, muscle strength and power all are at their BEST in the decade of the thirties for women. (men peak in ther 20's) If you look at elite runners, for example, the most competitive female runners are in their 30's (and many of them are mothers) So, they recovered from pregnancy and birth and are better than ever! That fact made me feel more confident about having a baby on the physical side of things.
Just know that at least someone else has all those same fears you do right now and, I know, most women go through all those questions. Just answers those questions for yourself. I am happy you posted your message. Thank you for sharing. Hang in there and let us know what you decide.
jenni
Holly!!
Wow, I completely understand what you are feeling. I am in your same situation right now. Although, I am starting to really like the idea of becoming a mom. I get on this thread all the time and just read what the mom's have to say. They give each other great support and advice and it is great to know that women who work out hard also have babies and recover even stronger than before. (Look at Cathe!)
I just went off bc last month and beginning to feel "normal" again without all those hormones and feelings that really weren't me. Something that have learned (in grad school)about mothers/women that might be of value to you is that women actually PEAK in their thirties physiologically. Meaning: their endurance levels, muscle strength and power all are at their BEST in the decade of the thirties for women. (men peak in ther 20's) If you look at elite runners, for example, the most competitive female runners are in their 30's (and many of them are mothers) So, they recovered from pregnancy and birth and are better than ever! That fact made me feel more confident about having a baby on the physical side of things.
Just know that at least someone else has all those same fears you do right now and, I know, most women go through all those questions. Just answers those questions for yourself. I am happy you posted your message. Thank you for sharing. Hang in there and let us know what you decide.
jenni
RE: To conceive or not to conceive?
Wow, thanks for all the support and encouragement. It still seems like every day my husband and I change our minds. I feel under pressure because he says if we have kids, he wants to start NOW. He doesn't want to have a new baby when he's in his late 30s/early 40s. Me, I'm not opposed to the idea of waiting a few years, because I don't plan on feeling "old" any time soon...I'm in better shape at 30 than I was at 20, and I only see things as getting better (like Cathe).
I just see a lot of the women I work with who have full-time jobs and kids and see how stressed out they are all the time. I know that I am not the type of person who could be a stay-at-home mom, either. I crave the intellectual stimulation of a career and/or school and just can't see being without that as a big part of my life. Can a real balance be achieved? Again, I look to Cathe as an admirable woman who seems to be able to balance it all!
I have to decide pretty soon what to do...I'm scheduled to start on my next cycle of the pill in 2 days (Sunday). I'll let you know what happens.
Thanks again,
Holly
Wow, thanks for all the support and encouragement. It still seems like every day my husband and I change our minds. I feel under pressure because he says if we have kids, he wants to start NOW. He doesn't want to have a new baby when he's in his late 30s/early 40s. Me, I'm not opposed to the idea of waiting a few years, because I don't plan on feeling "old" any time soon...I'm in better shape at 30 than I was at 20, and I only see things as getting better (like Cathe).
I just see a lot of the women I work with who have full-time jobs and kids and see how stressed out they are all the time. I know that I am not the type of person who could be a stay-at-home mom, either. I crave the intellectual stimulation of a career and/or school and just can't see being without that as a big part of my life. Can a real balance be achieved? Again, I look to Cathe as an admirable woman who seems to be able to balance it all!
I have to decide pretty soon what to do...I'm scheduled to start on my next cycle of the pill in 2 days (Sunday).
I'll let you know what happens. Thanks again,
Holly
naughtoj
Cathlete
RE: To conceive or not to conceive?
Holly-
I would have liked you to keep your post up. This seems (from what I can tell from the replies) to be the same issue that I am going through currently. The big DECISION!!
I think I posted something similar a long time ago, maybe on this forum, not sure. But all the ladies had great replies! After all, I guess these are the women that would know, right?
Good Luck to you in whatever you decide. Next cycle I am contemplating going off BC, so sick of hormones, but pretty sure I like not having periods.......oh, what a tradeoff!!!!
Janice
Holly-
I would have liked you to keep your post up. This seems (from what I can tell from the replies) to be the same issue that I am going through currently. The big DECISION!!
I think I posted something similar a long time ago, maybe on this forum, not sure. But all the ladies had great replies! After all, I guess these are the women that would know, right?
Good Luck to you in whatever you decide. Next cycle I am contemplating going off BC, so sick of hormones, but pretty sure I like not having periods...
....oh, what a tradeoff!!!!Janice