Our Dog Bit Our Grand Niece Help!!!

S

smoogy

Cathlete
Okay guys, I need opinions. My DH & me went to visit his parents for Christmas in Florida. As usual (four years in a row), we took my chihuahua, Chico with us. His parents adore him as you must know we do. He is so smart & loving & personable. His only fault is he growls & "tries" to attack you if he doesn't know you.

Well, the only thing different this year is that his DS brought over her 18MO GD. Well, chico growled & was acting mean & as soon as she came up to me, he went ballistic and "bit" her. Let me explain, Chico has like three teeth in his whole mouth. Second, we adopted him from an old lady with little money & common sense. She let him out one day & who knows what he got into but his jaw was severely fractured & the whole top of his scalp was gone & bleeding. I can't even describe how atrocious he looked & I am an RN. Anyway, we had his jaw fixed but it it is still very crooked. He can't clamp down on anything & uses his tongue to "chew his food". Needless to say he eats soft food. So even though he really did terrify this little sweet girl, he didn't hurt her physically. We all saw her arm & no marks.

Look, I never had a dog before Chico, only cats. I didn't expect his reaction to this little bitty girl. Also, my SIL has known Chico's "viciousness" from previous visits yet she didn't hang on to her GD as I should have hung on to Chico (or locked him up in a room). I won't make that same mistake again (it was a learning experience) but the whole thing is she left almost immediately & never called again during our stay. We don't see them but twice a year & that makes me feel bad. She is DH only sibling.

Anyway, I plan to send a gift certificate for the baby (she was adorable) and an apology letter. Would that be okay you think? Or is that insulting?

I need opinions, BUT!!!! Please!!! My dog is MY BABY! No insults to my dog or I will simply ignore it.

Yours truly,

Marla::(
 
Marla,

You obviously feel badly about what happened but accidents do happen. Besides, hind sight is 20/20 and like you said it was a learning experience. How bad is the bite-did she have to go to the doctor?

I definitely think the gift certificate and apology letter is sufficient and would definitely show your sincerity and concern. It also shows that you aren't just "blowing off" the whole thing and taking no responsiblity.

Good luck and let us know what you decide to do, Wendy
 
Like I said, no marks. Chico can't clamp down with his soft jaw. The poor baby was more scared than anything. Oh Lord!


Marla
 
Hi Marla,

Sometimes with dogs things like this happen. You can't always predict their response. As you said, you learned from the experience. The important thing is the child didn't get hurt. It's too bad she was frightened, but you can't do anything to change that right now.

I think your plan is just fine. Like Wendy said, it shows you feel responsibility for your dog & aren't just blowing it off. Beyond that, it's up to your SIL to accept your apologies & realize it was nobody's fault as you didn't have any way of anticipating what would happen.

I know how you feel, I've been in your position. But truly, after your apology there is nothing more you can do.

Try not to feel too badly about it...dogs are canines, not humans. We simply cannot always predict their behaviour to a given situation, nor can we always understand why it happened. In cases like this, all you can do is not allow yourself to be put in the same position again.

Take care,
Ruth
 
Firstly, i have a chihuahua, he's 3 1/2 years told, male, and about 7 1/2" tall. When he see's "new" people he growls, gets nasty and will bite if you come near him. He has very few teeth so wouldn't be able to hurt even if he wanted too. Though he can reallly bark deep for such a little dog. I think it is common place for Chihuahua's to be very nervous around new people.

Now, with you and your situation. As it is your Husbands sister, it wouldn't hurt for him to call and make sure all is well. It is his sister after all. Secondly, a gift is very sweet and i would send one. As the baby wasn't hurt, and no mark was left i think she is over reacting completely. Were talking about a chihuahua here, not a rottwieler!

I think she (the sister in law) needs to get a grip.
 
I think people often overreact to any perceived threat to their babies. It wasn't your fault in any way, in my opinion, and I think it's very sweet of you to try to make amends, even though you did nothing wrong.

I hope your sister-in-law accepts your apology, but if she chooses to alienate you and your husband on the basis of something so petty, well, you can't take responsibility for that.

My own little dogs weighs four pounds and wouldn't bite a flea, but I've seen people run screeching out of the room to avoid her. It's rather funny, really. It's just a phobia with some people, I think.

I ride my bicycle all over the countryside and am chased by dogs nearly every time I go out. I have yet to be truly threatened in any way, and I believe that's because I genuinely like dogs and am not afraid of them. Oh, I carry mace, but I've never had to use it.
Like people, dogs are more likely to chase or bite if you show fear. The mother of that baby was probably sending waves of fear toward your little chihuahua (and was probably making the baby afraid, too). It probably picked up on that and thought it would be a little hot shot. Being that small and feeble, I doubt it often has such brilliant luck as to actually scare someone. :)

I'm sad for you, though. You are obviously a very caring person. I hope everything works out.

Shari
 
I don't know if a gift certificate is appropriate,, but an apology definitely is. Actually - a phone call apology would be better, in my opinion. The little girl was probably really upset and that's why they left. I don't know what your SIL is like as far as her disposition. Some people get over these things well and some people think it's the World's biggest event.

This past summer, my dog Duke (who is a 70+ lb. german shepherd/pit bull) had an incident at the playground I frequent with my daughter. Duke's tooth bumped a toddler's cheek and caused a scratch that bled a little, and later bruised. His parents were a little concerned, but mostly reasonable about it. I was nervous there for a while, but it blew over with relatively little fallout. I was lucky that his parents were not over-reactors and I will absolutely never take the dog to the playground again. He was leashed, but he also weighs a lot and is very friendly. If he decides to jump and I'm not ready, someone could get hurt.

Definitely, absolutely apologize to your SIL and the parents of her GD. You should also make sure that you take precautions in the future so that it doesn't happen again. Hopefully the baby won't be afraid of dogs because of this. Good luck!
 
I often think about what would happen if my dog bit anyone.Unlike yours,he would do alot of damage,he is a big dog and has all of his teeth.It would kill me if he ever attacked anyone b/c I would fear what would come next.My dogs name is chico as well.
I don't think my dog would ever attack anyone but I don't really trust dogs.I know that they are our babies but they are still animals and unpredictable.
I think I would like to patch things up with the mother and if going through the child is what will work then do it.A 18 month old will remember the dog,no doubt,but she won't understand where the gift certifiacte came from.And the apology letter is a great idea.You could also try just calling her.
I wouldn't be to worried about it if there were no marks or cuts.BUt you may want to keep them apart the next time you visit.
Good Luck,
Lori:)
 
Hi Marla~I don't think your idea is insulting at all. I think it is very thoughtful on your part and can tell you feel bad it happened and like you said, learned a lesson. Thankfully the lil' girl was not hurt. I hope they both accept your apology. Good Luck!
Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/wavey.gif[/img] If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance...I Hope You DANCE!!!
 
I think it's a wonderful idea! You should tell them what you told us about Chico and that if you'd had any idea he would nip, you would have held him back. As for Chico, he deserves forgiveness and I hope he gets it. Those tiny fellers can be very fierce and it's a bummer he took exception to the little girl but at least he isn't capable of doing much damage. He's had a tough little life and you are a wonderful mom to him! Send the gift and the apology and don't beat yourself up anymore, Marla. There are much worse things that can happen than a bite from a chihuahua with three teeth! Chico is lucky to have you and he sounds like a wonderful little guy and quite a character and who knows, maybe he endured some form of torture from a toddler at some time. My sister's wild child used to torment my mom's peke and she bit my son on the face and has all the kids a little very nervous. Even Sam, who was heart-broken at the time, forgave her because she has that flat face, few teeth and she's generally cranky and particularly wary of small kids. No one messes with Lacy!
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"

Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

- Mary Oliver
 
Hi Marla,

Sorry about your incident. I have to disagree a little with some of the other posters, that your sister in law overreacted to something petty. Yes, your dog did not actually hurt the baby. But consider this: what if one of your relatives came over to your house with a big dog, an aggressive one? And this big dog tries to attack your dog. Let's say he doesn't do any physical damage, but wouldn't you still be super pissed? I have a dog too, and he's like my baby, and if there were any perceived threat against him, I would risk my life to protect him. I'm sure you would do the same. And I'm sure your sister in law felt that way about her baby. Your idea is good: definitely apologize, by phone or letter, and say what you told us, that you didn't think he would try to attack the baby and all that.

By the way, check out this really good website about dog behavior: www.leerburg.com. At least you're aware of what your dog acts like around strangers, so in other situations like this, I would just hold onto him, and warn other people that he is not the friendliest around strangers. Just because your dog can't bite hard does not make it ok. In his mind, he's attacking. Good luck!
Elaine
 
I don't know, Elaine, if a big aggressive dog analogy can fit here. We are talking tiny toothless dog vs. small child and a large aggressive dog vs. another one is an entirely different story. Perhaps Marla should contact her sister-in-law alsoand let her know how upset she is but if her sister in law remains upset, she's overreacting in a way which isn't necessarily petty but could be constured as overblown. If Chico were a large aggressive dog, that would be another matter but he's not and he could never have done much damage regardless of his intention to attack.
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"

Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

- Mary Oliver
 
I think Elaine's analogy was good. The point she was trying to get across came across just fine to me. I love my pets and I too would defend them with my life, just like I would defend my two children.

This is a tough situtation. Animals in general are afraid of little children because their movements are unpredictable. I know in Chico's mind he was just trying to protect his owner.

On the other hand, I have no doubt that this little child was scared to death. Obviously, her mom thought it would be best to leave. I don't think she handled it wrong. She handled it the way she saw fit. Hopefully, now that a couple of days have gone by, she is ready to talk about what happened.

I wish you the best. I know this incident has caused you a lot of grief. I know it would me.
 
Thanks Lori & Mary Oliver and all else who responded. Actually I am really more worried anout grandma's reaction. I don't want her to stay upset with us. That is her only GD so I would understand. The ironic thing is the little girl's mom has a Chihuahua too named Lupe. So I'm sure she won't end up scarred for life when it comes to dogs. Also Grandma has a large rottweiler & a Weimeriemer. And a cat they call Mean Bonnie.

Come to think of it, if they are pet owners too, wouldn't you think they would be a little more understanding? I'm still sending a serious apology letter & Target card. It was a bad situation.

Marla
 
I don't want to offend anyone here, but a dog is a dog and a child is a child. First "priority" should go to the feelings/safety of the child, not the animal.

I am a huge animal lover. I've had dogs all my life, and my DH is a Veterinarian. Even so, animals that are a threat to a child should not be allowed around the child. I realize the dog did no harm, but that isn't the point. The point is that he is agressive and he scared the child.

Any apology, whether a phone call or a note, would be very appropriate and kind. I would imagine the mother was frightened just like her child, and there lies the reason for her extreme reaction.
 
Accidents happen, Marla and I can only hope that your SIL knows that it was certainly not intentional. Yes, she was probably very upset by the incident even though her daughter was not hurt but it is only natural for a parent to react that way I would think. In the end tho, I would hope that she would realize it was just an unfortunate accident that you feel badly enough over it and move on with out holding a grudge.

Years back when I was still at home home with my mom we had a german short haired pointer. Awesome dog but tended to be jealous of children so he wouldn't always be friendly to them so we would restrain him when kids were around. One year my nieces were over for bbq. The dog was outside with us but tied up AWAY from the activity. At one point no one was looking and my little neice wandered over to the dog. Next thing you know she's on the ground crying and she did have a scratch on her arm or back or something but nothing serious. We didn't see what happened so we don't know if the dog went after her of if he was just jumping up to be friendly and accidently scratched her and knocked her over coz she was little. Her mother was a little freaked, yes. But the girl was fine and her mom knew it was not intentional, etc. She tended to her daughter and nothing was ever said about it again and it didn't stop the family from visiting in the future.

I hope it works out and your idea to send the apology with gift is absolutely fine. I see nothing wrong with it. I think it's a very nice idea.

~Wendy~

We don't stop laughing because we grow old; We grow old because we stop laughing...Put more laughter into your life.
 
I'd like to weigh in with my opinion on this one. I agree with so much of what has been said and will just reiterate that anytime we do anything that bothers others an apology and gift is always a good idea. I would like to add though that in addition to that you should visit a dog trainer. I work with dogs daily and see many owners that, although they are well meaning, actually do things to worsen their dog's reaction. An example of that is over reassuring a scared dog often sends the message to the dog that there is something to be scared about - instead, if the owner would ignore the behavior and carry on like everything is ok the dog will often catch the message that there is nothing to be scared of.
A trainer could be of assistance to you in helping you understand dog mentality, helping you know how to deal with a similar situation or help you socialize your dog so the behavior stops. I don't know you or your dog but it is possible that your rightful concern over his reaction to the child was interpreted by the dog that you are fearful therefore this really was a threat or dangerous situation that he needed to deal with.
Seeing as you are not the first owner of this dog, your dog could also have a history of 'toddler' abuse. Not that your dog abused toddlers but one time a toddler maybe abused him (this happens all to frequently with small dogs.) I knew a dog who instantly bit all little people after being swung around off the ground by the leash by a young boy. The dog's motto was attack before you are attacked. It took dedication on the part of the owner but he was retrained. Again a good trainer can help you put your dog in 'safe' similar situations and retrain the dog. After all you do not want to spend the rest of the dog's life scared he will attack and he needs to learn a better way of coping. Being small and toothless is secondary. He needs and is capable of learning more responsible behavior so you and he can live happily in the world. I know I'm sounding like a broken record but money spent on a dog trainer is better spent than money spent on a law suit!
I hope I've been of help. Good luck what ever you do and thanks for being a person who gave a dog a second chance at a happy home. Keep us posted on how this turns out.
Trish
 
Hi Marla.

I think that all you need is the apology. I'd probably do it via a phone call, however. That way, you can check on how the little girl is doing. If sending a gift makes you feel better, than by all means do it, but I don't think it's absolutely necessary. (Although, I don't think it would be insulting).

I recall babysitting my little nephew when he was about a year old. I did something dumb that caused him to scream and get a big red raw-looking scratch on his back. It never even occurred to me to give him a gift to make up for it. I just calmed him down, cuddled with him and then appologized to the parents. They understood and the baby forgave me pretty fast.

I do prefer the phone call appology, though. Things in writing often come out sounding different than you intend. They'll hear how bad you feel with a phone call. It might be harder to get that across with a note.

Don't beat yourself up too much. It was an accident, which I'm sure won't happen again.

Shelbygirl
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top