Thank you both!
Kim,
It is a bit hard to piece things together. And kind of long, so bear with me. But I really appreciate this!! My dad lived 3 hours away and never let on there was a problem. Even the day he was 'gray' and rushed to ER surgery if you asked him he said he was "just fine". We saw him just six months prior and played shuffleboard and we ate a huge pizza so I'm not sure how fast the sickness progressed. Or how long it was going on. I do know at Christmas he was ok.
There seems to be some kind of mental problems in several areas:
1. He hadn't showered, bathed or changed his clothes in seven weeks, combed/washed hair, etc. Basically, 7 weeks before he "went down" my sister went up and noticed something wrong. We went up weekly and it took us that long and for him to actually fall down beefore he'd leave. He still refused to go to the hospital. We tricked him and told him he was coming to live with me (which he will one day hopefully). Then the doctors had to sign a 5150 and commit him for 8 hours and we finally convinced him to stay. He still fights being groomed

Oh and there isn't much to groom. He was so dirty that they cut off all his hair and almost completely shaved him. But he was really "proud" of his hair so this is something to look forward for him to do!! I'll make a note!!
2. He refuses to eat most things. Says he isn't hungry. Part of this is due to swallowing problems (he can't even keep his dentures in) but a speech therapist is supposed to be working with him. But prior to all this, for the last 4 years, he has decided he only needs to eat one meal every other day. He's an alcoholic and smoker also. By some miracle does not have signs of liver, stomach or lung cancer yet. The drs also said it must have felt like a heart attack in his gut when he did eat when the colon was being "killed" (blood supply was cut off and it partially perforated into the abdomen, also spleen was removed). If we do get him to eat it is just sweets: strawberry shakes, fudge ripple shakes, m&ms, hostess cupcakes.
3. When we cleaned out his apartment I noticed notes all over the place reminding him of things. When we spoke and visited, I didn't notice any major memory loss. At first they told us it was "ICU psychosis" and not to worry but it isn't getting much better. He can remember things that seem to be from his long-term memory yet not short-term memory. He often forgets what city he is in (we haved moved him twice to two different cities tho), what year it is, when my sister or I visited, if he got up yesterday or today or an hour ago, etc. He also lived by himself, with all the windows and curtains drawn and never left the house except to get his newspaper, so I am assuming there must be some kind of depression.
4. As far as the wheelchair, I think there are several factors: he is stubborn; and very very very weak. It takes a huge amount of effort for him to grab his cup and take a sip of his shake. It could be too scary for him, too much work, etc. The day we visited the aide used a chair lift and it was terribly hard for him. He thought if he let go, he would fall. We couldn't get him to understand that the band underneath his arms would support him. So I think that part was scary.
5. I think for writing, again he is too weak. It is such an effort for him to do just about anything. When he first got to the SNIF, he couldn't use the little triangle thign to help move himself around. Now he can pull himself up a bit and adjust, so he is getting stronger. When he was at the ER hospital, he couldn't sign his name, he was too weak. Now he can make something close to his name, but it still isn't very legible.
Thanks again for the help!
Colleen