ok, this is not a workout question but a personal one. about 6-7 years a go a dated this physical therapist. Not seriously, we just went on a few dates and did no more than makeout. After a few weeks we both realized we were better as friends. I'm now married and just passed my physical therapy board exams. This guy i dated has 4 practices and wants me to come and work for him. However i don't know if i should. If my husband finds out we dated (even if it was not serious) he would be so pissed. He's a bit on the jealous side. However, this is a wonderful job opportunity and I would love to work at the facility. What would you do? No one really knows that we dated other than my mom and one other friend. Thoughts?
opinions
- Thread starter kariev
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martijean1
Cathlete
Personal opinion and speaking from experience (more than once) is that once a relationship has gone beyond the point of friendship, it will never be the same again...There's just a different "vibe" so to speak...Just my 2 cents...
MJ
MJ
LaughingWater
Cathlete
My first thought after reading your post: Anything you keep secret will come back and bite you in the butt at some point. I wouldn't keep this from your husband.
However, you can act like it's no big deal. After all, it isn't. This was a handful of dates 7 years ago, not a serious relationship. You can tell him it's hardly worth discussing, but you're doing so just in case Mom or your friend brings it up.
Besides, how close would you be working together? Does he have a family? He doesn't flirt with you, does he? All these things kinda play into it, you know.
Ultimately, if your husband still isn't cool with the situation, then the job isn't worth the aggravation you'll get at home. I'm hoping he'll be okay with it all though.
It would be a shame to lose a good opportunity like this over jealousy. Good luck!
However, you can act like it's no big deal. After all, it isn't. This was a handful of dates 7 years ago, not a serious relationship. You can tell him it's hardly worth discussing, but you're doing so just in case Mom or your friend brings it up.
Besides, how close would you be working together? Does he have a family? He doesn't flirt with you, does he? All these things kinda play into it, you know.
Ultimately, if your husband still isn't cool with the situation, then the job isn't worth the aggravation you'll get at home. I'm hoping he'll be okay with it all though.
It would be a shame to lose a good opportunity like this over jealousy. Good luck!
Govtgirl
Cathlete
Ditto to Laughingwater, don't ever keep something like this from your husband. If you had never heard from this guy again it'd be different, but it would be totally unfair to work for this guy and not tell your husband about your past together. Keeping that kind of info from a person that already has a jealous streak will make them 100 times more jealous and suspicous of you, because after all, you weren't honest with them.
The ONLY way I would consider this is if you told your husband about how you dated, and if he could meet this guy so he felt comfortable with him and knew that there was nothing there. If he doesn't pass the husband test (and men have radar just like women do!!) I would drop it and find somebody else to work for. It's not worth messing with your marriage for.
The ONLY way I would consider this is if you told your husband about how you dated, and if he could meet this guy so he felt comfortable with him and knew that there was nothing there. If he doesn't pass the husband test (and men have radar just like women do!!) I would drop it and find somebody else to work for. It's not worth messing with your marriage for.
thanks guys! this guy is married now and has 2 kids. he does not flirt with me. i don't think i would be working too closely with him since he would be jumping around to all of his facilities. however, i have this gut feeling that it will bite me somehow and i know i should always go with my gut. i don't want to bring it up with my husband b/c i already know what his reaction would be and i would rather just keep the peace. i think i would be upset if he did this to me so i may just have to pass this up unfortunately. i wouldn't want anything to affect my marriage especially something so stupid.