Online Dating Websites....

J

JT

Cathlete
Recently, I was brave and maybe foolish by signing up for a FREE dating website. It's been at least 3 years since I have experienced this stuff.
Most men want to meet and to talk NOW whereas I prefer to get to know them first.
Safety is also another big issue with me.

Please share your experiences good or bad. Thanks.

My experience may be short-lived.
 
I did not get much out of that experience. You could try going on some meetups instead. That way you could do something fun (I do photography, a book club, hiking and a dim sum group) without the pressure of dating and you can meet people. I got a lot of nude pix of guys without me asking for it, and I just can't have that garbage on my computer. Its not appropriate imho. But, that doesn't mean it won't work for you, my brother met his girlfriend online and they now have a baby. So it can work but definitely be safe, meet in a public place, bring your own car/money.
 
JT--------------------

UGH! :) When I think of the word 'dating', that's my response. "UGH"! lol

I used a dating service for about a month, about 2.5 years ago. I dated a great guy for almost 2 years before breaking up with him. He was a great guy, and it turns out I actually KNEW him when I saw his profile on the site. I wouldn't have known he was 'in the market for dating' had I not seen him on the site. The overall experience was great, and we're still friends today, as are our kids.

For me, the dating service helped to put me out there, because it's not something I can or DO do in person (if that makes sense). What I'm trying to say......in everyday life, the circles I travel in all revolve around school and kids' activities. If a single gentleman sees me there, I think he would automatically assume I'm married; maybe that's stereotypical, but that's how I think it works. There is no way of him knowing that I'm single and PERHAPS interested in dating. Does that make sense? So for ME, the dating services are kind of my personal advertising service.

Recently............................

After a very recent and very BAD breakup, I realized I am sooooooooooooooo not ready to date again (DH will be gone 6 years this September, and I've had 3 'serious' relationships since then). HOWEVER, on a whim and at a recommendation of a very good friend, I signed up for the free membership at okcupid.com, about 2 months ago. I loaded some VERY basic info and NO photos of myself. IMMEDIATELY, I got several hits. Like you, I prefer to do a bit of chit-chat (preferrable emails first, then maybe a few phone calls) before actually meeting up. Problem with THAT, however, is you really can't tell if the person is being sincere or just blowing smoke. I was emailing with one guy, who, after about 2 weeks of emails, said he wants to get together instead of emailing or even CALLING me. Ummmmmm......I chose NO. Personally, NO. At that point, when he suggested the face-to-face date, I realized that I'm just not ready.

Sorry to be long-winded......in a nutshell, I think there is NOTHING wrong with the dating services, as long as you are TRUE TO YOURSELF and do what YOU ARE COMFY with. Good luck........I find it FUN to date as an adult, but it's hard GETTING that first date (for me, anyway).
 
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I survived match.com.....:p

Actually, I'm one of the lucky ones because my third meet-up was the charm and we're 8 days away from our first wedding anniversary. :D (Let's hold the hurricaine this year, shall we?)

You've gotten some great advice. I agree. Use the process to be true to your Own Self.

I decided that somewhere there was a man who would want and love me exactly as I am. Who needed exactly what I have to offer. And I asked the universe and the universe provided.

Have fun, be careful, trust your gut.
 
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Although I've never engaged in online dating myself, I'm aware of two radically different situations, one in which a woman met a man through the online personals of an alternative weekly newspaper and wound up being strangled to the point of unconsciousness by him within three weeks of their first date, AND the other in which a woman signed up with eharmony.com, was matched right off the bat with a man who was the sound man at the church she had been attending for 20 years (he had also been an enrolled member of the congregation for 9 years) and they married within a year of their first date.

Your instincts about wanting to take things slowly are sound. If you do get to the point where you're exchanging contact information, I personally would suggest doing a bit of discreet background checking to see if there are any law enforcement hits on the guy. As many have said - including me - Safety First.

A-Jock
 
Just a quick reply!!

I met my DH through E-Harmony 4 years ago and going strong. A close friend met her current DH through E-Harmony after watching our success. They have been married 3 years and going strong. Another friend of ours met his current girlfriend through E-Harmony and have been dating for 4 months now and seem to be doing well (when they come up for air!!)

Not that it matters but, I am 46 and the rest of the above group are all over 50 ;)
 
Been getting almost too much attention lately but I think the guys look for the new ones out there. Last night, I got pressure to meet someone then drive to another city.
No thank you. The ones that I actually prefer are the ones not driving me crazy.
I listen to my inner voice/gut so anything that comes across bad, I will run.
PCramer, I am 48.5 years old. It's been a challenge getting back into life post MBA.
 
I met my husband online. We met five years ago, we've been married 2 years. Before I met him, I dated some other guys who I met online, who were nice, but not right for me.

Things that helped me feel safe about meeting strangers: I usually spent at least a week exchanging emails before making plans to meet someone in person, which helped weed out guys who I could tell I didn't have much in common with, or who couldn't spell (a pet peeve of mine!) or who for whatever reason gave me the creeps. I didn't give out any personal information, not my phone number or last name or anything, until after I met someone to make sure they really existed, and even then never my address. I always met in a public place with my own transportation, and a friend always knew where I was going, and I'd call her after the date to let her know everything was fine.

I'm 41 now, btw, and this is my 2nd marriage.
 
Bobbie,
Yes, I will do what you did. What's the rush? I only have been married once and now have been on my own for over 15 years.
Thanks for the great advice.

JT
 
My husband and I met on an Christian on-line site. We have been happily married over 9 years. We met on-line May 14. Met face-to-face July 5. He proposed that weekend and we married July 28.
You have to know what you are looking for in a potential husband. I think on-line is a wonderful way to get to know one another. Communication has to be at the center of any relationship!
Hope this helps.....we met on singlec.com. If its still up and running????
 
RapidBreath said:
I did not get much out of that experience. You could try going on some meetups instead. That way you could do something fun (I do photography, a book club, hiking and a dim sum group) without the pressure of dating and you can meet people. I got a lot of nude pix of guys without me asking for it, and I just can't have that garbage on my computer. Its not appropriate imho. But, that doesn't mean it won't work for you, my brother met his girlfriend online and they now have a baby. So it can work but definitely be safe, meet in a public place, bring your own car/money.
Click to expand...

Why do guys always think you want to see nude pics of them? I hate that
 
EDATING

I just got divorced last week and am not the least bit interested in dating. What I would like to use one of these sites for is to take a picture of me and then use Faceburner or an app like that and just widen my nostrils a tiny bit, maybe cross one eye just a little, make my chin a little longer, stuff like that, post it and see how many hits I got.....Makes me laugh just to think about it...
 
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