on line dating

E

Eki

New Member
Hi everyone. This is my first post, but I have been "lurking" the forums for years, looking for advice and encouragement. I am fairly new to Cathe, and have not exercised consistently for the past five years. I havea 6 year old son, a single mom. I have most of Cathe's dvd's but I finally fell in love with her last week with kpc. I love her, she is a dinamo! I now look forward to get into shape with her help.

Why I decided to post now? I have been divorced for four years, having separated when my son was barely a month old. I dont want to convey a sad story, but he basically left because after being very athletic and in great shape, during my pregnancy I was not allowed to exercise (placenta previa and I was 40) so I gained about 30 to 35 pounds. I still have to lose those! He left because I was not attractive anymore.

After many years, I decided to meet new people, and enrolled in E Harmony in October. My first date was last night....What a jerk. He talked about himself all thru dinner, and spoke ill of all of his last relationships, that, according to him were all either liars, sicopaths or sex deviants....I could not wait for it to be over.


I know there are good men out there, have any of you had any luck with online dating?
 
Not me. I was on & off Match for a couple of years. I had only 2 dates & both of them were disasters. I got emails from people that not only would I never date, I'd probably cross the street to avoid them in RL. And the same freaks & losers were on there all the time.

I came to the conclusion that if I can't meet someone in RL there's no way I'll meet someone in cyberspace.

Hopefully I'm not being discouraging--if you truly want to date (I do but not desperately--I have a pretty full life & while it would be nice I don't lose sleep over it) you have to put yourself in situations where you'll meet new people. The gym, church, book clubs, volunteer groups, etc. would IMO be better options than the internet.
 
I have nothing but positive things to say about match.com. I had quite a few dates initially (its feast or famine with match.com) and within 2 months met my current boyfriend. We're very serious now and unless something drastically changes, we'll be getting married and be a match.com success story!
 
I met my BF on Match.com. HE IS GREAT!!! I went on two dates total one being him. The first date I went on was also terrible. I think all he cared about was trying to get in my pants. I met my current BF i think about a week later. We have been inseperable ever since. We have been together 1 year this month. There are really nice guys on there you just have to weed through the bad ones to find the good ones. I always had a friend call me like an hour into the date so that way i would have an escape route if needed..LOL..GOOD LUCK..there is MR Right out there for you waiting.

MELISSA
 
Quite the timing for this thread, I'm just getting ready to meet someone I met on-line, we're having coffee in an hour and a half, gawd, that's just getting tres cliche!!:) My guard is definitely up but my mind is open, preparing for the worst while hoping for the best and all of that. I have a very mixed opinion about on-line dating, some of the people are infintile to the max, what is the correct response when someone instant messages you 'nice breasts', OMG what an idiot, I just blocked him but walked away shaking my head. I'm meeting another gentleman (she said hopefully) on Monday, I feel very strange about this, I've never had more than one iron in the fire at a time where men are concerned. As reluctant as I was to do it I'm glad I registered, I've waited long enough and can now see that Mr. Ridiculouslywonderful ain't comin' knockin' at my door and I'm gonna have to do some work to find him!!!:)

Welcome to the boards Eki, good luck in your search, I'll check in later with the details of my first on-line meeting. Keep your fingers crossed for me, I gotta go get cute:)

Take Care
Laurie
 
Yes, I've met some interesting men through Match. They're out there. You just have to learn how to screen quickly so you don't waste your time with the bad ones. Don't get discouraged, it's doable.

Also, don't restrict yourself to online dating. Let everyone you know know that you're looking. And get involved in some activities you enjoy where you'll meet more people. Of course, you can meet lots of men if you play the same sports they do!!
 
Thank you for sharing....I am certainly discouraged, and I dont easily. I arranged for a friend to call 30 min into the "date" but there was no signal! Missed the escape route.

Thanks also for your warm welcome. :9
 
You could also try jdate.com, you do not have to be Jewish to join up. There is a very nice caliber of people there, there are jerks wherever you go

Karen:D
 
I met my boyfriend on line (match.com) and we've been dating for about 6 months now. Our relationship is FANTASTIC!

Just like in "real life," there are frogs. I think it's a good method for meeting people, and meeting the "type" of person that you desire. I also think that b/c of the nature of on-line dating, there is sometime deceit, lots of cross dating (people talk to DOZENS of people at once) and missed opportunity, at times. Again, like "real life," there are pros and cons.

That said, give it a whole hearted shot before you give up. This guy is just one fish in the internet dating sea and you might actually enjoy the next date!

Good Luck!
 
I actually had a couple very good experiences with online dating. Way back in the day I was on udate.com (which I think eventually merged into match.com) and met a guy I dated for a few months. When my SO and I were on the outs a couple of years ago, I met someone on match.com and we dated for a couple months, too. He was very nice and in the same boat as me, in that it's hard to meet interesting, busy people because... they're busy. :)

I wouldn't give up on it so easily, but I would caution you to go with your gut when contacted by someone and give guys that may seem a little less exciting a chance. Some people just don't communicate well in that medium. Others are just jerks. :) But it can be fun!

Marie
 
For pete's sake, am I the only one who met a bunch of loonies online? I swear I'm a freak magnet.........x(
 
Hi Lauramax!

I am at E Harmony, who matches you with profiles before you can make contact. Last night was my first meting experience....and maybe the last. I think I might not yet be ready for this because I had to force myself not to cancel at the last minute....

Maybe I should try harder at meeting new people at real life, but since my life is so busy, that is really hard.

Eki


:-(
 
>For pete's sake, am I the only one who met a bunch of loonies
>online? I swear I'm a freak magnet.........x(

LauraMax, of course not! I actually became an expert at the drive-by because I could tell just by looking at the guy if I was going to have one iota of interest or not. Mostly not. And there was the one guy who listed his profession as "ice cream truck driver" who sent me increasingly irate emails because I clearly had a superiority complex and wouldn't date any man who wasn't Brad Pitt. Um, ok. I finally blocked him when (after getting zero responses from me), he sent me a plea for closure. CRAZY!

Online dating requires tenacity, girl! And stamina!

;-)
 
lauramax,

are you kidding? we could sit down and chat for hours about the psychos i have met. one guy actually told me he wouldnt go out with anyone myopic. i thought so hard, thinking he meant narrow minded, etc. i asked and he said, "it is exactly what i meant. i am legally blind and i wont date anyone who needs glasses". after i freaked and told him he had the nerve to be driving, i walked home.

i was on eharmony and met some nice guys and some morons. after signing up on jdate for the second time, i met my current boyfriend. we met a year ago and eventually plan to get married. i am in no rush. been there, done that. had a coke addict ex husband and at 43- two days to 44, enjoy life on my own. we are working at it, as i love him and the children very much.

suri
 
My experience of online dating. I did the E-harmony thing and now Match.com and contemplating on whether to renew or not. To be honest, I had a FEW great dates from Match but I met alot of psychos myself, LauraMax, I can relate. My profile must be a magnet for all the desperate freaks out there.
The crazy thing is that two of my friends married from online. One from E-harmony and and the other from Match.com.
 
oh, Lauramax, there are definitely creeps online and I've run into a few of them. :) There's one that's been emailing me for over a year that I can't get rid of, although I refuse to meet him. It being the type of media it is, those with less than desiranble social skills can take refuge in it. :p


I HAVE met a wonderful man online though, and have been with him for 10 months now. So, yes, it is possible. Although I bet for every one that is "date-worthy" there are 20 to weed out. (ok, pulled that number out of my hat, but you get the idea.....)
 
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