Now WHAT am I supposed to do with this?

dss62467

Cathlete
I got an email from my father this morning (he sent last night) in response to one I sent him, asking how he likes the stability ball I gave him and the Core Max DVD I lent him.

In the last sentence of the email he says, "I feel so bad for what Lyd & Jon are going through, have you talked to her today?" Lyd is my sister, Jon is her husband. NO- I haven't talked to her since last weekend! Dad apparantly talked to her twice yesterday. I have no idea what's going on! I'm thinking...is someone sick? They're both obese, so this isn't out of the relm of possibilities. Are they having marital problems? It's possible, but they seem to be happy together - then again, things always look different from the outside. Is there a problem with one of their sons? Also possible, but it seems someone would have told me about that right away.

So...since she obviously didn't feel like she should call me about it...should I call her? Or should I just wait to hear from her? She and I aren't particularly close. We get along, but don't share intimate details of our problems. Still...I would call her before I called my father. I would call my mother first, but she's no longer with us.

I guess I'm not surprised that she called Dad. When she was a freshman in college, she thought she might be pregnant and went to him. There's NO WAY IN YOU KNOW WHERE, I would have even considered going to my father with that information had it been me. I was mortified just letting him know I needed to come home from school one day because my tampon leaked and I needed fresh clothes.

What do you think? Let her come to me, or should I go to her? I think part of the reason I don't get very close with people is because I always let them come to me. I go under the assumption that if they want to talk, they will. Maybe I could just send her an email, telling her that I know something is going on and that if she wants to talk to me, I'm here for her? I think I really come off as a cold fish, but I'm not!
 
I think the only sensitive thing you can do at this point is to ask your father what precisely he meant in his e-mail, and then decide whether your reaching out to your sister would be welcome and helpful. It could be that your sister confided in your father and asked that he NOT disclose anything to you, OR she might have just confided in him first. It could be that your father is the one who needs to talk to you, not your sister, and your sister needs some privacy.

A-Jock
 
Hmm, I agree with Annette. I think I would just ask if there is some serious issue you should know about... then I would leave it alone. I am not that close with my family, either, so I know how tricky this can be.

Good luck!
Marie
 
OK - I'll give him a call when I know he's awake. I sure HOPE she didn't ask him to not disclose anything to me. If she did, he didn't keep her confidence that well by letting me know there was something up. It just strikes me a bit funny that she'd speak to him because she hates his wife. And there's no way he'd not tell his wife what is going on. She's a total busy-body and I certainly wouldn't want her knowing about a problem in my life before my sister did.
 

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