Need to vent -(long and petty)

[elsie3]

ARRRRGGGHHHHHH! I just need to vent to people who understand the situation so I can get back to thinking good thoughts again.

Why do people who are blessed with great bodies and can eat crap all day feel that everyone should be like them? And why do they feel the need to almost brag about how they love to eat like that?

I was helping with my son's class party last week. One of the other mothers (a beautiful woman in her 30's with a fabulous figure and probably a size 0), was going on and on about how much she loves sugar--and how she eats it all day and often gives up meals just to eat junk food. She "just doesn't know what she would do without it!"

I've griped about my neighbor before: she is a beautiful woman approaching 45 who teaches spin classes 3x a week. She is a sweet, caring person, but she is HIGHLY opinionated and thinks that everyone should be like her. Because she is a "fitness professional" she believes she is the expert on exercise and nutrition. She lectures other people (including me) that anyone--no matter who they are--should only exercise 3 to 4 times a week and they can eat whatever they like. She knows next-to-nothing about nutrition (or fitness for that matter), but everyone thinks she is the "expert." Recently, she was invited to teach a class to a group of 12-13 year-old girls (including my daughter). My daughter is very active but, like me, has to be careful what she eats. I have taught my children good nuritional principles. I eat very clean, but I allow my children to have treats in moderation. My daughter is careful what she eats, and understands that nutrition and exercise are more than just about looking a certain way--the aim is to be healthy and feel your best. Anyway, this lady is telling them things like "I eat dessert 2x a day, and I'm skinny--look at me--I'm almost 45 and I look great and you can too--all you have to do is exercise no more than 4x a week and you will look like me--I had a friend that exercises every day who is 37 but looks like she's 50 because she exercises too much!" I was just so furious that she would tell this to a group of impressionable young ladies. She lectures her spin students the same way.

Why can't people just accept that people are different?

Ugh! Phew. Okay, done.

Thanks for "listening."

 

[Jane A]

Elsie,

I don't blame you for being upset!

Don't you hate it when other people undermine your efforts? Usually, it's just out of ignorance and not intentional, but it's still frustrating.

As you wrote, it's best to get back to good thoughts, so here's some smilies.

Jane

 

[betterallthetime]

I have a twelve year old daughter. If she came home from an "educational" session with this kind of misinformation, I would go through the roof. These kids have so much media inundation about beauty and thinness and it isn't healthy.

I spent my whole childhood not understanding why other girls could eat all they like and remain skinny, while I have to watch so carefully. No one ever spoke of health.

We have so much good information today and it is unacceptable that your "friend" is not making herself available to it. Older women (and 45 is not young- I can say that b/c I'm 46!) are supposed to exercise daily for one hour to maintain their body weight. It has been all over the news.

OK- now I am done venting!

Nancy

 

[pink_fortitude]

Believe me - I TOTALLY GET WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM!!! I have an almost 13 year old daughter, and I don't like most of the messages that are being sent to her about health and the emphasis on appearances - but don't worry! She will get confidence and lifestyle choices that will last a lifetime from you. She will forget in no time what she was told, and what you do and say every day is what will leave the impression on her. Most of the time our kids already know these things aren't right if we are already living a life that reinforces our values of character and not appearances.

Melissa

 

[isuretri]

I can understand your frustration. Everyone thinks that because you have a nice figure you can eat anything. SO NOT TRUE!!! I try to teach my kids that the occassional treat is okay but you shouldn't have sugar every day. I hate it when they go over to friends houses and they are given pop and junk food. Also, why is it whenever a tween is upset someone has to suggest getting chocolate or ice cream???????

 

[janie1234]

Elise, . . . repeat after me, . . "Some people are just completely clueless, . .and there is nothing you can do about it." Do what I do, . . "Oh, . .uh huh, . . .(noding my head), . . and then in the chipper most up beat voice you can muster no thanks." When someone has the audacity to try to parent my kids and give them advice that has not been cleared through me watch out because I'll make an example of you in front of everyone.

In the words of Kathy Bates and one of my favorite movies of all time "Tawanda!!"

 

[Pearlstrand]

She's probably lying. I'll bet she eats almost nothing but wants you to think she can eat anything and stay skinny.

Not worth your time -- don't worry about it.

 

[Calee]

I worry about my little girl too for the same reason. Heck, I worry for MYSELF for the same reason! Even in my own family there is conflicting information and widely different body types. I am like you and need to watch what kind of food I put in my mouth for every snack an meal. My youngest sister, the young, hip aunt, eats what she wants when she wants with very little consequence.
I agree with one of your previous responses though- I bet she's lying!

 

[morningstar]

We all think that our personal circumstances can be translated to everyone else's situation. It's just the way we tend to think. She might be an ectomorph and naturally skinny. As she doesn't eat healthily, she might be "skinny fat", a heart attack waiting to happen. But that's hard to tell until it happens with skinny people.

Look on the bright side - she's telling them to exercise at a moderate rate for life. That's a good thing. She's telling them that exercise will keep them looking young. That's a good thing too- the more motivation the better. And over-exercising CAN be bad for your health and looks, just like overdoing anything else.

So she's full of crap about the sugar thing; most of us are full of crap about something or other. Yes, she's teaching impressionable young people, but so is every parent on earth and there's a lot of idiots out there! If you are teaching your daughter good eating habits, she will blow off what this woman is saying because you have more influence on her than one short class with this other woman will. Trust me, your daughter will have many other opportunities in her life to be told nonsense; consider this an opportunity to explain to her that people can be smart in one way and stupid in other ways.

 

[syzygy314]

What frightens me about the whole thing is that she really doesn't have the credentials to be "teaching" anyone anything. She may be a certified spin instructor, but that doesn't make her a dietician or a nutritionist or even a fitness professional like an exercise physiologist. I would contact the school and question them bringing someone in without the proper educational background. It's one thing to come in and give a talk about spinning or exercise in general, but not to try to put everyone in the same category. What if some of those kids are diabetic or have congenital heart conditions, etc. That's just irresponsible to me.

Okay, I'm done. Take a deep breath and let it go!

 

[maddiesmum]

I agree with Kathryn (the woman is probably full of s**t) and morningstar (she eats like crap, her health will suffer, nothing in her diet is keeping her safe from cancer, heavens knows what her cholesterol is like, even if she is visually skinny).

Whatever happened to eating for health rather than just to stay skinny? These are not at all the same things.

As last poster said, this is your chance to teach your daughter that some people may make a lot of noise, but there's just nothing sensible coming out of them. All air and no substance.

As for the women in her classes: if they take what she says on board it is because they pay lip service to the desire to be skinny no matter what the risks to overall health, in which case, hers is exactly the message they want to hear and they would never listen to any other; or, some of them will, in fact, possess a brain and will work out for themselves that she's less creditable than she herself thinks and they will move on and do their own nutritional and fitness research.

Either way, what they choose to believe is up to them and you cannot waste any time and effort thinking about it anymore!!! It'll only drive you crazy! Some people are better off left alone with their misconceptions and misguided beliefs.

Clare

 

[elsie3]

Thanks!

Thanks for the support and good advice! And, yes, I've calmed down. I'm glad my daughter has a good head on her shoulders and can sort out the information she receives. Sometimes this person just really gets under my skin--and I know it's my choice whether or not I let it happen. I have to associate with her on a weekly basis, and most times I can just blow it off. But I was getting it at all angles this week, and when my daughter told me what was said, it was the last straw. I really don't want to resent this person, so I'll try to ignore and focus on her good qualities.

That's why I came here to vent--you are all the best!!!!