honeybunch1
Cathlete
We're all glad it turned out good for all of you - it just proves that it doesn't pay to fret about what MIGHT happen.
Just Do It!
Just Do It!
Need opinions
- Thread starter nancy324
- Start date
Nancy,
I'm so happy everything went well! It sounds like the wedding was beautiful and your stepson and his wife were very thoughtful about everything. I know you were very stressed about this beforehand, so it's so nice to hear you and your DH had such a good time.
On your SIL: my opinion is that something about weddings just makes people crazy. I am trying to think of even ONE family wedding from the last 20 years that did NOT involve some controversy or accusation of exclusion, and I will tell you, I can't think of one! My opinion is that emotions are running incredibly high and people in the extended family just want to feel like they are included.
I'm really glad everything went well with your SIL, and if nothing else, she will know better than to cross you like that again. I think you did the right thing. Men can be so clueless!
Take care,
Marie
I'm so happy everything went well! It sounds like the wedding was beautiful and your stepson and his wife were very thoughtful about everything. I know you were very stressed about this beforehand, so it's so nice to hear you and your DH had such a good time.
On your SIL: my opinion is that something about weddings just makes people crazy. I am trying to think of even ONE family wedding from the last 20 years that did NOT involve some controversy or accusation of exclusion, and I will tell you, I can't think of one! My opinion is that emotions are running incredibly high and people in the extended family just want to feel like they are included.
I'm really glad everything went well with your SIL, and if nothing else, she will know better than to cross you like that again.
I think you did the right thing. Men can be so clueless!Take care,
Marie
TarHeelMom
Cathlete
Nancy!
Aw, Nancy, you are SO lovable, girl -- can't believe you don't see it in spades!
I am joining this thread a day late (as usual -- how do I miss things??) but just wanted to chime in to congratulate you and DH on a wonderful day and, most of all, on having wonderful family. Your stepson and his new bride sound like incredibly thoughtful young people. I hope they're just the happiest little newlywed clams in the world!!
http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0304/sport/sport-smiley-003.gif Kathy S. http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0304/sport/sport-smiley-001.gif
Aw, Nancy, you are SO lovable, girl -- can't believe you don't see it in spades!
I am joining this thread a day late (as usual -- how do I miss things??) but just wanted to chime in to congratulate you and DH on a wonderful day and, most of all, on having wonderful family. Your stepson and his new bride sound like incredibly thoughtful young people. I hope they're just the happiest little newlywed clams in the world!!
http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0304/sport/sport-smiley-003.gif Kathy S. http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0304/sport/sport-smiley-001.gif
nancy324
Cathlete
Marie- thank you so much. You are such a dear.
Regarding your comment about men, I think it's true. Also, my DH can be as assertive as anyone, but when it comes to his sister, in my opinion he just takes too much abuse. She actually speaks very harshly to him on a regular basis, and I feel that occasionally I need to just step up to the plate and say "Don't talk to my husband that way".
I realize it's some kind of dynamic between them that was probably established a long time ago, but whatever my DH may have done when they were kids, he doesn't deserve that kind of treatment now. He's now a loving, supportive brother and she has even admitted that to me, so enough with the abuse already. It's just time to end it. And I don't at all mind being the one who says so. }(
Marie, my stepson met a lot of frogs before he met his princess. I am sending out positive vibes to you and to your stepson in hopes that he will also meet his soulmate someday.
-Nancy
Regarding your comment about men, I think it's true. Also, my DH can be as assertive as anyone, but when it comes to his sister, in my opinion he just takes too much abuse. She actually speaks very harshly to him on a regular basis, and I feel that occasionally I need to just step up to the plate and say "Don't talk to my husband that way".
I realize it's some kind of dynamic between them that was probably established a long time ago, but whatever my DH may have done when they were kids, he doesn't deserve that kind of treatment now. He's now a loving, supportive brother and she has even admitted that to me, so enough with the abuse already. It's just time to end it. And I don't at all mind being the one who says so. }(
Marie, my stepson met a lot of frogs before he met his princess. I am sending out positive vibes to you and to your stepson in hopes that he will also meet his soulmate someday.
-Nancy
candi
Cathlete
Nancy,
If it was me I wouldn't want interference from my DH no matter how well intentioned when I'm dealing with my family. I'm always open for input and suggestions from him but I feel it's my place to handle (or not handle) the situation. I try my best not to impose myself on how he handles his family either. I feel it comes down to mutual respect, understanding and the faith that we are doing what's best at the time because when all is said and done each of us will have to deal with the emotional baggage that's left over.
I'm happy for you that the situation didn't get out of hand and the wedding was a loving celebration. That's what they're intended to be.
If it was me I wouldn't want interference from my DH no matter how well intentioned when I'm dealing with my family. I'm always open for input and suggestions from him but I feel it's my place to handle (or not handle) the situation. I try my best not to impose myself on how he handles his family either. I feel it comes down to mutual respect, understanding and the faith that we are doing what's best at the time because when all is said and done each of us will have to deal with the emotional baggage that's left over.
I'm happy for you that the situation didn't get out of hand and the wedding was a loving celebration. That's what they're intended to be.
nancy324
Cathlete
Thanks, Candi. I certainly understand your feelings, and your point is well taken. I would never do anything that would be unacceptable to my DH.
My DH talks back to my mother for me because he knows that I don't have the ability to recognize that she is putting me down for at least 48 hours after the incident, and he can see it right away. Granted, however, I have given him permission to do this and he has not specifically given me permission to defend him against his sister. But he is sympathetic to how difficult it is for me to sit back and watch her turn him into a punching bag, and I don't think he really minds so much.
My DH talks back to my mother for me because he knows that I don't have the ability to recognize that she is putting me down for at least 48 hours after the incident, and he can see it right away. Granted, however, I have given him permission to do this and he has not specifically given me permission to defend him against his sister. But he is sympathetic to how difficult it is for me to sit back and watch her turn him into a punching bag, and I don't think he really minds so much.