My hubby s bad habits help

M

merrybaker

Cathlete
Ok This Am while I was busting out my workout ,my hubby got up .And stood at our sliding glass door .Smoking his cigarette.Oh the smell so bugged me . He does this often and it drives me crazy . It also makes me very sad as the healthier I get ,it seems the further apart we get .I'm starting to wonder what we have in comman anymore ... But oh I cant go back ... I so wish he would join me !!Do some of you go thru this ... ????? I could go on and on about his other bad habits but that would be a book ..LOL Oh what to do !!x( x(
 
My hubby doesn't smoke...for which I am eternally grateful. But I do feel your pain with the healthy lifestyle thing. My hubby has gained so much weight...and he is in real danger with his health - family history of heart disease and diabetes. I have made strides in my health, and he's good at reminding me what I should and shouldn't do, but he's not very good at doing those things himself. Bottom line is that in order to change something, a person has to want to change it. I'm hoping to sit down with my hubby tonight and talk to him about my concerns for his health...and tell him I want lots more years with him and ask him to join me as a workout buddy and healthy eating partner...and to do this without offending him. I'll keep my fingers crossed... Good luck to you as well.

Amy
 
My husband doesn't smoke but he is overweight and exercise isn't in his vocabulary. He thinks I'm insane. It really hasn't affected our relationship though. He use to get aggravated and give me that look when I said I was going to work out. One day I just told him to look at it this way.... he likes his horses, roping, all that stuff and I don't like horses, am scared of them for the most part. That is his hobby and I respect that. This is my hobby. I enjoy this, it makes me feel good physically and makes me feel good about myself. I am a lot happier doing this than I would be as a couch potato. I think it turned on a lightbulb for him. He doesn't say very much, he just doesn't want me overdoing it and will tell me if he thinks I am and sometimes he is actually right.
 
I'm so sorry your husband doesn't share your love of fitness. I'm lucky that my husband and I both love to run and he's in great shape. However, when it comes to his diet, if he didn't have me to prepare his meals for him he'd be in bad shape. If you do all of the cooking you have some control over his diet at least. As far as the smoking goes, it is so so so so (can't overstate it) bad for you!!! My 47 year old brother is now fighting lung cancer that metastasized to his brain. That's what it took for him to quit smoking. I think that people who smoke must tell themselves that they won't get cancer or suffer from the other things that smoking can cause. Hopefully your husband will give them up some day soon!:)
 
My dear aunt just died last week from lung cancer at age 62. She was a heavy smoker for a long time, but quit several years ago when she was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and was told that the smoking would kill her. I made my kids promise that they would never smoke and told them over and over again that it is one of the worst things that they could do to themselves. I hope that they keep their promise.

Erica
 
OMG Mary. I can definatley relate to "growing apart"! Since I quit drinking and now am getting healthy, we are just getting farther and farther apart! I quit drinking to keep my family together and it's worse now! And forget about getting healthier. He smokes, & drinks in front of me with no regard. He is going to drink and smoke himself into an early grave and doesn't care one bit about me or our boys.
All you can do is keep taking care of yourself. Because if you're not, the situation will seem worse. I drop hints to no avail.
Hang in there. Keep doing what you're doing! There's no going back to unhealthy living! And keep venting in here! It surely helps!
Kali

www.PictureTrail.com/kkali
 
All of our DH's are adults and have the right to make thier own decisions when it comes to thier lifestyles...and maybe this is unfortunate depending on the choices they make but it is true...all you can do is try to influence them to get healthier and then hope for the best. Can't force an adult to do what they don't want to do...and it's not our right as wives to dictate to them how to live thier lives just because it's different from ours. So keep up the healthy lifestyle regardless of your DH and hope that one day he will decide to give it a try as well!:)
 
I'm in the same boat as you. I've been very frustrated lately. I've been wanting to vent about my husband too, but refrained until now...

8 years ago, when we met, he promised me he'd stop smoking. He also worked out somewhat. Today, he still smokes, although now he at least does it outside (but he still stinks of it). He doesn't workout anymore. He eats like crap. He survives on sugar and nicotine. He has on average 2 supersize slurpees a day. Often has sugary cereal for dinner, and maybe candy later. At least he doesn't drink so much anymore. I'd cook more, but our tastes are so different I'd have to cook 2 totally different meals.

We are growing further apart too. He mocks my healthy eating and the vitamins and special protein shakes I take. He criticizes me for working out "all the time". I want a spouse that supports me, not who makes me feel bad for doing something good for myself. You'd think he'd appreciate my efforts too. The more I defend myself, the worse it gets. I shouldn't even have to defend my healthy habits.

I don't think we have much in common anymore either. It's scary because I do love him and want him to be healthy so we can have a life together, but I don't see that happening. I honestly don't know where things are heading between us. I wish I had some advice for you, but I obviously am in no place to dish out advice on this matter.

Sorry for going on and on...
Melissa
 
Oh my gosh guys! I am sorry you are going through this with your DHs. I have luck getting mine out walking in the woods a few days a week cause he loves nature...maybe that would help? My thought sounds lame even as a write this but it actually worked with my DH. He's supportive of me and now starting to take better care of himself. Maybe some angle like that?

Sparrow


___________________
www.scifichics.com
 
Don't take this the wrong way guys, but you have NO IDEA how it makes ME feel better inside knowing DH and I are not the only ones going thru something like this. I hope you guys do too. I guess that's why we come here and talk huh?;-)
Kali

www.PictureTrail.com/kkali
 
Is there a nice way you could ask him to smoke outside while you are working out? When I used to smoke I did it outside so the house didn't smell like it. There was a chair I used to sit in outside to smoke. When I quit, the only time I thought of having one was when I passed that chair. My husband used to run cross country all through high school, so as far as working out goes, he has no problem other than finding the time. :)
 
Thank you all for your support . As sad as it is I'm glad I'm not alone .Oh he smokes outside LOL His arm is out the slidding window ,it just comes back in the house . Theres more to it then just his smoking , I so can relate to all your comments ..put it that way . Thats why I would have to write a book .LOLx( Its the whole thing of not having much in comman that kills me ..And oh do I drop hints LOL Hes probably wishing I was still heavy and had NO selfesteem LOL I think we should all vent about this more often ..It would so help me :) .Thanks ladies
 
I honestly believe my DH wishes the same thing! He told me flat out that I'm "changing" and he has to get used to it, and that it's only gonna get worse! Nothing but love for you too Babe! x(
Helps me too.
Love you guys. Lots.

Kali
www.PictureTrail.com/kkali
 
""""My 47 year old brother is now fighting lung cancer that metastasized to his brain.""""

Oh Elaine, I'm so sorry for you and your family! 47 is so young. I lost my dad to lung cancer in January, but he had a long and happy life. I see people smoking and can't help but think they are throwing away a good life. I don't understand it.
 
Kali,Oh my hubby says that I'm going through a mid life crisis LOL How can taking care of me for a change be a crisis LOL. Only for him LOL .Suddenly he's gotta watch the little guy so I can rollerblade ...Hang in there sounds like we are in the same boat .Just keep plugging away ,.I will not go back !!! . I actually showed him my muscle last night and he didnt like it ... Teased me that I must be flexing and looking in the mirror !!! DUH ...You would too if youve done what I've done so far ... Brother its another kid on my hands LOL HELP !! x( He doesnt get it about being around for along time and being healthy so our kids dont have to take care of us .Thats my goal here !!!:) . Ok I will write more later ..PM any time
 
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