Motivation Needed

kblover

kblover

Cathlete
Hey all,

I guess this is a general post as well as asking for help. You see, I'm just plain depressed. I do my workouts every day and I'm not seeing any changes. Ok, I'll admit that my diet has not been the best, but I recently started changing it. I know that is the real problem and I know it takes time, but I'm feeling miserable.

I guess what I want to know is how did all of you (who lost 20+ lbs) find the strength to hang on? Not give in to temptation? Keep going even when you could feel all your extra weight bouncing around with every step?

I feel like my body is constantly reminding me that I'm overweight. I need to know, not only how to survive, but how to excel and get passed this...to not give in or give up.

Any advice would be most appreciated!!

Thank you
 
i'm 25. when i was 17 i was 35 lbs overweight. then one day, i just decided i was sick of feeling tired and uncomfortable in my clothes. the next day i started waking up at 5 a.m. to walk on the treadmill for 30 min. little did i know this was my long road to fitness. walking turned to running, running turned to spinning and weight training. at first i just cut out fast food in the beginning and whole fat cheeses and sweets. for me it wasn't hard b/c i had made up my mind that i wanted to be healthier and i think the mind is the place where the changes have to take place. now here i am, 8 yrs later and i have kept all the weight off. i very much have a body like cathe but i did not get there overnight. it takes hard work and dicipline. there are days when i don't want to workout up until this day but i just focus on how i will feel in the end. also when you don't workout you end up regretting it but if you workout you never say at the end "i wish i didn't" so i just do it. i enjoy all foods and i do have my moments where i crave junk and can't eat another vegetable. it is important to find balance. allow yourself a nice treat meal once a week. go out to eat and savor every bite. one meal won't hurt out a weeks worth of healthy eating. what keeps me motivated are new workouts, this message board, and inspiring new people as well as challenging myself. you already mentioned you know the problem is diet. diet is 80% of your results. when i got a little stricter with my diet i saw amazing results in my physique. just think, it takes about 30 min of cardio to burn 300 cals, mabe even a little longer. you can blow that in 10 sec by eating 2 cookies. i'm not saying never eat cookies again but i'm saying that as long as you consume more than your burining you'll never see changes or you may even go in the opposite direction. what is your current diet and exercise plan like right now? you need to focus on all the positive things you are doing and have accomplished. fitness and diet is not an easy task which is why not everyone is fit. it takes work and dicipline. you've got it in you and this board is here to help you reach your goal.
 
Thank you for the quick reply. I'm literally sitting in front of my computer waiting for advice to pop up. Eating is a struggle for me. It's been that way all my life. I love to exercise and weight train (well, most of the time..haha), but eating is such a struggle. I've been all over the map, from eating nothing to eating everything. Crazy as it may seem, I associate losing weight with complete focus on food. Meaning that there is no time for anything else...food is the complete focus. Exercising is usually only 1 hour a day, but 'fighting' my temptations is 24 hours...ok, minus sleep time. Some days, it's not so hard, but other (most) days, I can't seem to make it. People think living alone makes it easier to control your diet, but it doesn't, it is just different. When you're alone, there is no one to see when and how much you eat. I just don't know how to change my way of thinking all the time. I could sit here and lie and just say 'ok' to what you said, but I've done that before. I want to lose the weight, so why do I keep giving in? I hope some of this makes sense...sigh...

I'd love to hear more from you...sorry for the long post.
 
I lost 35 pounds eight years ago. I will tell you it was the hardest thing I have ever done but it is also the best thing I have ever done. It takes discipline and hard work but YOU can do it. You have to remember that you are making a lifestyle change and to do that it takes little steps. If you do too much too soon you won't succeed. Small changes will eventually add up to big changes. The things that motivated me the most was getting my workout in every day. I felt so accomplished and good when I finished a workout. When I didn't feel like working out, I remembered how I felt after I worked out and that would motivate me to do it. I know that if I didn't workout I would feel bad about myself and I didn't what to feel that way. When I worked out, I didn't want to sabotage that by eating bad so I tried to remember that before I ate something that wasn't healthy. I really became aware of stopping and thinking before I ate something. I was such a mindless eater so I really became mindful what I was eating.

At the end of the day, focus on accomplishments that you made that day. Write them in a journal and read them every day. If you worked out that day, write about how that made you feel. If you walked away from a box of donuts at work, write about strong you felt to resist temptation. YOU can lose the weight and be healthy. Believe it and you will achieve it.

Good Luck!
 
Thank you Jean...my focus is the problem I think. Instead of giving myself any credit for anything, I always see what I didn't accomplish / what I did eat that was bad / the exercise I did forgo...

Part of it is me trying to push myself, but it is obviously not working. I think I need to become my own motivator rather than demotivator.

Both your reply and the other have given me some things to think on...thank you both for caring enough to reply and CONGRATULATIONS to both of you on your weight loss!!!!
 
KBLover,

I have lost 30 lbs. since Jan. '06 and would like to lose about 20 more. As you can see, it's been *very* slow-going for me (I have a friend who dropped 30 in just one summer!), but generally, I'm OK with this pace. I know that it's more likely to be permanent for me if it comes off slowly.

I started by focusing on workouts and just eating healthier - not a drastic diet but small changes that I could live with. I began tracking my food intake on FitDay. I try to follow an approach of moderation, but of course, there are times when I slip up. Simply put, I enjoy food! Now, my weight has been at a standstill since Feb. of this year, and I have realized that I need to rein in the eating more than I have been. There have been stretches of a couple of weeks here or there where I didn't track on FitDay, and I truly believe that is important to keep myself in line. However, I do know what you mean about becoming a bit food-obsessed, which is not healthy either. I think that's the mental game/trap that you have to override. Don't allow yourself to think TOO much about food. In addition to the great advice given by Karieve and Jane, you might try some (or all) of the following:

--planning your meals ahead of time
--drinking a glass of water or eating a piece of fruit before you indulge in whatever's tempting you (also good to do before a social gathering)
--stock your cabinets with healthy snacks
--take your measurements, weight, and pics - sometimes you won't see a change in the scale, but you *will* see results in your measurements, feel of your clothes, or in the photos
--follow a workout rotation designed for fat loss
--buddy up with someone or join one of the check-ins here to help keep you honest
--do your workout first thing in the morning to "set the tone" for your day
--have a filling breakfast - like oatmeal and a piece of fruit
--set small goals & establish a non-food reward for yourself
--be patient - you want to see results instanteously, but remember that you put on the weight gradually, so it's going to come off gradually...progress is progress, no matter how slow!

Best of luck! You *can* do this - stick w/ it!
Cathy :)


>Thank you for the quick reply. I'm literally sitting in
>front of my computer waiting for advice to pop up. Eating is
>a struggle for me. It's been that way all my life. I love to
>exercise and weight train (well, most of the time..haha), but
>eating is such a struggle. I've been all over the map, from
>eating nothing to eating everything. Crazy as it may seem, I
>associate losing weight with complete focus on food. Meaning
>that there is no time for anything else...food is the complete
>focus. Exercising is usually only 1 hour a day, but
>'fighting' my temptations is 24 hours...ok, minus sleep time.
>Some days, it's not so hard, but other (most) days, I can't
>seem to make it. People think living alone makes it easier to
>control your diet, but it doesn't, it is just different. When
>you're alone, there is no one to see when and how much you
>eat. I just don't know how to change my way of thinking all
>the time. I could sit here and lie and just say 'ok' to what
>you said, but I've done that before. I want to lose the
>weight, so why do I keep giving in? I hope some of this makes
>sense...sigh...
>
>I'd love to hear more from you...sorry for the long post.
 
are you being too restrictive with your diet or too regimented? i find that when i try to follow diet advice from mags they make me food obsessed. one thing that has really helped me is the hunger scale. i'm constantly checking in whith myself to see if i'm truely hungry. i try to stay between a 4 and a 6 at all times. 0 being starved and 10 being how i feel after thanksgviving dinner;-) its hard but you just have to keep at it.
 
I think I am two extremes. I go from too restrictive to too 'free'. I don't mean to do this and sometimes I don't realize I've done it until I'm feeling crazed about food. A lot of times, I think I'm looking for an excuse for my behavior. Actually, I have tried a lot of the things that all of you girls have suggested (thank you Cathy for all your input as well!).

I think it comes down to willpower. I tell you this cause I don't want to hide anymore. I've made excuses for everything and still continue to do so. Why? Why do I do this when I know I want to lose weight? Yes, I am very busy with college and work, but so are other people. So, maybe that is the real question - why don't I follow all the advice? Why do I continue to make excuses for my behavior?
 
I agree - it does come down to willpower and priorities. I used to work 3 PT jobs while in undergrad but exercise then was a priority - somehow I managed. Later, I worked FT and went back to school PT to obtain my teaching cert. During that time, I had an injury and then fell out of working out altogether - a bad move that ultimately caused me to add 10 lbs. a year for five years. The first couple of years of teaching are stressful and time-consuming, and that was my excuse.

In Jan. 2006, I finally started working out again and simultaneously returned to school to work on my Master's. I doubled up my class load to be able to finish quickly and earned my degree last month. So, I've been steadily busy for a number of years but have proven to myself that old idea that whatever you want badly enough, you will MAKE the time for it. For me, it was like a mental switch that went off in my head. I have seen it from both sides, and now I know how to strike a healthy balance. But I believe it all has to come from within.

Good luck!
Cathy :)

"I always loved running...You could go in any direction, fast or slow as you wanted, fighting the wind if you felt like it, seeking out new sights just on the strength of your feet and the courage of your lungs."
-Jesse Owens
 
Yep! See, others have done it and you're living proof!! I just allow myself to fall into a 'woe is me' stage.

I just need that reality check that says 'cheryl, you're not the only one out there who has gone through it. You need to stop wallowing in self pity and get up and go'

I have tried to get that from friends before, and they have said that, but I also know that it didn't really come from love. I think the only way I can accept that is if I know the person went through what I'm going through (like you) or if I know they really love me.

Thank you for taking the time to talk to me. I'm feeling stronger already. I have to go to a family party today and food will be everywhere. I know if I am feeling down, I'll eat everything. Now I feel strong enough to resist! I think I may have to take my laptop with me to keep up the inspriation :) Since I don't have any friends or accountability partners, all of you online are who I am using. I think I'll post my progress every month. This way it'll keep me accountable.

Thank you again Cathy :) I'm off to make my dessert (how'd I get stuck making the junk food I'll never know) and workout :)

If you have more to say, please do so! I'm always looking for new motivation.
 
if it helps any i'm a very all or nothing type person as well. which is why i really focus on my thinking. i'm also a ex-binge eater. every few months or so after i start falling back into restrictive ways i end up binging. i have to keep my restrictiveness undercontrol. its hard for me to find balance. i still think i'm a little hard on myself at times but i'm much better then i used to be. you have support here so anytime you want to vent or need advice post instead of doing something else destructive.
 
kariev...thank you! it helps me so much. I need to get out of these cycles and onto a more balanced life. I want to get married and have a family and I don't want to bring any bad habits with me. Especially if I ever have kids. I don't want to teach them my bad habits.

knowing that you stuggle really helps me. thank you for all your advice. I think the suggestion to come here, instead of eating, is great! I never thought of it before. Thanks so much for listening and posting!!!
 
Cheryl,
This is an excellent place to come to for support! I think one (or more) of the check-ins would be great for you. I check in daily with the cheetahs (a runner's group of all ages & speeds) and a small group of P90X grads, and I definitely feel more accountable through my involvement with those groups. Truthfully, few people I know care to discuss fitness to the extent that I am interested in it, so it is good to be surrounded by like-minded individuals. (I imagine many people here feel that way.) I've even had the opportunity to meet some Cathe forumites and have developed unexpected friendships from the daily forum communication. Anyway, feel free to join in any of the check-ins which suit you, or start your own!

Believe me, I hear you on the temptation and find social gatherings to be the hardest. You can't be good 100% of the time - and why would you want to be? Life would be no fun (at least for me) if you couldn't indulge now and then. The key, IMO, is moderation. I am not yet where I want to be in terms of fitness/weight, but I know I'm getting there, and doing it slowly without a feeling of too much restriction is what works for me.

BTW, having used stress/no time as an excuse for a long time (I don't know if that is the case for you, but that was it for me), I can look back now and see the foolishness of my thinking. I was trying SO hard to master the teaching thing and felt I had to work around the clock, trying to figure it all out and not fall on my face. But re-learning to put my own health above - or at least on equal footing with - work was the best possible thing I could have done. I am able to juggle more and handle stress so much better than I used to.

Have fun @ the party!
Cathy :)
 
Cheryl,
After reading your post, it appears that you may have plateaud in the recent past. Before I discovered Cathe, I was there where you are now. I rose my step height and increased my weight load and seen results real fast.
Change up your routine by walking or biking too.

Hang in there and think positive.
 
Great idea Cathy. I think I will join a group. I didn't want to do that before becuase I didn't have access to a computer and therefore checkin was rather hard. Now that I have my own computer I can take part in those.

I also love to discuss fitness. Sometimes I think it is funny/odd that I struggle considering all the knowledge I have in my head. This is why I believe fitness to be more of a conquering of your mind than anything else. I know that if I believe in myself, I can accomplish anything.

As for the excuses, I have used them all and tend to hang around 'understanding' people. My closest friends and family are all overweight, so they are not going to push me, because they would have to push themselves too.

I just finished my arms and core workouts...whew!!! Off to the shower and party...after I check out some groups :)

Thanks again!!
 
Thanks Jennifer. I'll add that to my list of changes. I think some of my workouts could use a break. Meaning, I only do the advanced ones, and sometimes I'm so tired and I know I can't do an advance. But instead of taking it down a notch, I stop altogether.

I'm working on conquering the mind too! I think that is a HUGE problem for me.

BTW, I'm in MI too. Plymouth, to be exact. are you close by?
 
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