more nursing woes...

bmccartney

bmccartney

Cathlete
So, it looks as if I'm going to have to stop nursing soon. Within the last month I went from pumping ~20 oz at work to ~10-12. Taylor is needing more and more, and I'm producing less and less (she's been drinking about 18oz during the 11 hrs she's at daycare, plus a 2 oz jar of veggies). The other day at daycare they told me she had 2 5oz bottles in one sitting!

I'm extremely conflicted about this whole thing. On one hand, it's getting too hard to keep up with her demand, and we also want to get pregnant again. On the other hand, I'm so afraid that she'll be missing out on the best nutrition she could get right now. I wish I could just make a decision and stick to it rather than wavering like this. I don't know whether to go out any but some formula or pump like crazy and even wake up in the middle of the night to pump too. I just feel so guilty, like I'm being selfish if I give in to formula bc it's more convienent for me.

I plan to keep as many breast feedings as possible during the day, but we're rapidly approaching just a morning and night feeding. She gets so frustrated when she tries to nurse and I don't have much/any milk...she doesn't stay latched on and she almost seems to prefer the bottle lately.

Also, what formula would I buy? From what I've been reading, they all have a standardized amounts of nutrients, just different variations. I was reading about the organic ones, but I guess many of them have added sugars. Arrgh.

Sorry for venting, I'd just really appreciate hearing from others who have been thru this. My mom stayed home with us full time, so it wasn't an issue for her. And most of my co-workers and friends stopped nusing within 2 months, if they did it at all.

Bethany
 
It sounds like you have your mind set, but I thought I'd encourage you to continue to nurse and pump as much as possible. You will never regret nursing your wee-one as long as you can.

There are some things you can do to increase your milk supply. Increasing your fluids is an easy way, another is an herb called fenugreek. As you know, pumping/nursing allows for feedback to your pituitary glands---prolactin is released, thus producing more milk with each feeding/pumping session. I'd encourage you to try to pump one additional time per day than you normally do to see if that increasing milk flow.

There are distinct areas during infant growth where babe goes thru growing spurt and it takes a little bit for your milk flow to catch up. 3 weeks, which you already experienced, 12 weeks, and a couple others. Remember, each time you supplement with a formula bottle, your milk ducts do not produce feedback to your pituitary gland and you risk reduction in your milk production.

You do what feels best for you and your baby. Kudos to breastfeeding your wee-one, as long as you it works for you. :)
 
I can relate to this! My DD is 2 months old but was a terrible nurser. She has a high palate (the roof of her mouth) so she didn't know the nipple was in her mouth, and she sucked sideways. It would take her an hour to nurse and she would just get so mad! So...i resorted to pumping every 3 hours. Let me mention here that I am a 4 year old, a 21 months old, and a 2 month old. Pumping was SO HARD with the kids all needing something from me during that 30 minutes. My 2 month old didn't want to be put down for that long so I could pump. So, every 3 hours for 30-45 minutes my baby would scream, my other 2 would get into stuff and fight cause they knew I coudln't get up. I was going back and forth on wanting to quit and the guilt involved with it.

In that time, my sweet grandma died. She raised me...was my mother. So, we had an 18 hours, 2200 mile trip to make. Yes, 2200 miles with 3 kids....one being a newborn who eats every 3 hours and nurses for an hour. So...on our way. After the first nursing session on the road, we decided I would pump in the car and give her a bottle. However, the next session had to be formula because I had no milk stored up. Well, I wasn't pumping nearly as much on the road...probly from stress and lack of food. Once we got to Tx...the next day...we were going going going non stop doing funeral stuff and being with family. We left our hotel at 7am and didn't get back till after midnight. There was no place to pump and even if there were, I had no time. Honest. So, that first day there, i went 18 hours without pumping. OUCH. The next day was the funeral and I just lost it. I couldn't pump, I was hurting (mentally and physically) and feeding my daughter was priority, no matter how she ate. I stopped cold turkey. Of course, at that point I had little milk anyways cause I kept going 18 hours between pumping. Do that for several days and you stop producing milk. After we got back home, a week there total, I was completely dried up. No pain, no leaking, nothing.

Now that I have stopped, my older two no longer throw tantrums. My baby doesn't scream for 30-45 minutes at a time, and I have more time to spend with my kids during the day. As a stay at home mom, that was important to me. Sometimes I still have to guilt of quitting, but I learned that a happy mom makes a happy baby. My daughter had breastmilk for 2 months, which is llonger than a lot of people...not as long as I would have preferred, but under our circumstances, i did the best I could. I don't beat myself up for it now.

My long story was not needed i'm sure, but I wanted you to know that I had the same guilt! The more I talked about it and heard other peoples opinions the more I second guessed myself. It isn't their choice. It was mine. There will always be people that thin breastmilk is best at all costs, and they will make you feel bad for your choice. I woudl recommend you to make a choice with only your DH and do what works for you. We have a common goal to love and raise our children...who cares, in the long run, how we fed them. Love on that baby!!!

Jessica-who is sorry for the typos.
 
I have to agree with Jessica. You have to do what is best for you. My daughter's bilirubin levels were dangerously high and she had to be supplemented with formula. She had started out great with nursing too. I so wanted to nurse our daughter because our first daughter was a preemie and I pumped for her for months and months. She never nursed but got breastmilk for 6 months. Anyway with my second daughter the supplementing was not helping my supply so I would nurse for 30 minutes, supplement, and then pump and start the whole process over again as soon as I finished. I felt that my older daughter was being neglected because I barely had a minute to take care of her. I felt extremely guilty and was exhausted so I stopped nursing. When I went to my 6 week appt my dr was like, "You gave it your best, she got breastmilk for a few weeks and you made the decision that was best for you and your family. Do not feel guilty."

Sorry I kind of babbled but don't feel guilty. I do think that there is an extreme amount of pressure on women to breastfeed.
 
Jessica, thank you so much for sharing your story. It's quite impressive that you were THAT determined to pump so often with a newborn and two little ones!!

Mabdoo, it's nice to hear that I'm not alone in feeling so guilty. I'm really going to keep trying to nurse as long as I can, but I'm starting to see that all of this stress and energy I'm putting into this could be spent in a more positive way with my daughter.

Melanie, I've been nursing for all her feedings, except she's still so hungry after I'm empty that I've been having to use formula afterwards. I don't know why I'm drying up so much, but hopefully I'll produce enough to feed her in the morning and at night...that should still get her most of the health benefits of breast milk (I hope).

One of my co-workers said that quitting nursing may be so tough on us mentally because our bodies want to make sure that we propagate our species by continuing to feed our babies. It seems to make sense.

Bethany
 
That may be true what your co-worker said about nursing but I think a lot of it has to do with all of the research out there that says how good it is. Everything you read about pregnancy and post partum encourages breastfeeding and kind of looks down on formula feeding. Becuase you want to do what is best for your child you end up feeling extremely guilty. Just my opinion.
 
I totally agree. There is a tremendous amount of pressure these days for breastfeeding. Not only in what you read, but from those you know and even complete strangers. I've had strangers come up to me and make comments or ask questions on what I am feeding my child.

My firstborn absolutely refused to nurse. I ended up pumping (early on sometimes 8-12 times a day) for the first six months of his life. He was not a happy infant and not much of a sleeper either so I was completely exhausted. I was so happy when I finally stopped. My second born loves to nurse and so far it has been a breeze with her.

Just do what feels right for you. Maybe you pump a few times a day, or maybe you don't. Enjoy your baby and good Luck to you
 
Please bear with me

I am sorry to hear all of the struggles each of you mothers have had during your nursing experience. I have been blessed with four beautiful girls 8,6,3, 6mos. and they all love(d) breastfeeding. I am a stay-at-home mother and I have never had to use a bottle, formula, or a pacifier. We have never had to even use baby food. My oldest was 10 mos. when she received her first solids, my 2nd was 9 mos., my 3rd was 11 mos., and, of course, my 6 mo. is still strictly nursed. I am not, by any means, trying to brag about my positive experiences. My first and last ones were tounge tied. My last one did need to be clipped. I did have a wonderful lactation consultant at my disposal when I had my first baby. My ped. tried to push me to bottle feed because he was more comfortable with the idea. Imagine a young, new mother's reaction. I cried. I wanted to nurse my little girl desperately! As you have felt pushed to breastfeed your children, I have felt pushed to formula/bottle/supplement my children. Even to start my babies on baby food when I feel they are not needing it. My youngest, Rebekah, weighs 17 lbs. and 9ozs. at 6 mos. She does not need extra.... As you all have repeatedly said it is up to you and your husband to do what is the best for your little one. Each one is different from the other. From what you all have said YOU'RE DOING GREAT!!!!!!
 
Is this your first. It's funny, when I had my first I didn't want her to have any formula at all. It was like poison in my mind. With my second I was much more relaxed and supplemented more - mostly b/c I was exhausted too and didn't want to get up in the middle of the night to pump. At any rate I haven't noticed any significant differences in the two.

If it's any consulation, my mother in law only bf for the first 3 months and both of her boys were extremely smart (full academic schoalrships for undergrad, and partial for law and med school) and according to her, were hardly ever sick growing up. So, I guess in the grand scheme of things, breastfeeding for a few months or a full year probably makes little difference in the end.

Good luck - don't be hard on yourself! They make formula's with lots of good stuff in them now a days.
 
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