Mom's what would you do if.....

[josiespcah6ojsh]

i am VERY quiet. if people start talking about things i'm not interested in i dont listen but then i end up on missing the conversation when they start talking about something else i am interested in. also alot of what is said goes thru one ear and out the other.it has to be one on one because as soon as somethings said i forget it if i'm with a group of people. i dont want seem like a couch potato so i stick it out

laura

 

[yelly]

Oh yes, the catty female gossip circles! I CAN'T STAND THEM!! Why are some people like this? It's not like I don't know that the second I walk away they're going to be spewing out their opinions and rumors about me too. And unfortunately, I am no longer good at hiding how I feel about people. So, I say, if they're going to talk about you anyhow, why care if you hurt their feelings by rejecting their invitations for no reason. Just say you have plans, even if it's just sitting in front of the tv - that sounds like plans to me! This is how I handle these sticky situations. I just don't care to surround myself with people who have no life but to talk about people who do. And inevitably, if you do socialize with them for any length of time, all they ever want is to control your life and keep you as one of their supporters. Nope, not for me. Maybe that's why I've always gotten along better with men - at least with guys I can just be 'one of the guys' if that makes sense, and not have to put up with all the cattiness. OOHH - don't get me started!!!

 

[gettingfitmom]

get your kids involved in other activities that will give you the oppertunity to meet new kids and moms. I myself have a SMALL circle of friends that I like to hang out with. Probably only 4 people. I have mingled with the gossipers, tec. and narrowed it down to who i like and want to hang out with (as well as my kids). Hang in there, you'll meet the people who you can get along with...

 

[GMonkey]

Well, as a moderate parent, I get crap from both sides. I allow my 13 year old daughter an occasional soda and let her watch TV and the uber health nuts give me a bunch of attitude and the KFC for dinner bunch think that I'm a controlling nazi.

Methinks some of this venting is akin to gossip...gasp! I bet that these fat moms love their kids just as much as you love yours.

We are all imperfect. Even if we monitor every morsel our child ingests, they just might have a soda, or even a goldfish cracker from the floor, and they might not even die from it (unless they are diabetic)!

If you don't like them, don't hang out with them. Have them drop their kids off with you, or drop your kids with them.

 

[lainiefig]

Well, as a moderate parent, I get crap from both sides. I allow my 13 year old daughter an occasional soda and let her watch TV and the uber health nuts give me a bunch of attitude and the KFC for dinner bunch think that I'm a controlling nazi.

Methinks some of this venting is akin to gossip...gasp! I bet that these fat moms love their kids just as much as you love yours.

We are all imperfect. Even if we monitor every morsel our child ingests, they just might have a soda, or even a goldfish cracker from the floor, and they might not even die from it (unless they are diabetic)!

If you don't like them, don't hang out with them. Have them drop their kids off with you, or drop your kids with them.

GMonkey, just gotta tell you I always like what you have to say. You seem like a cool chick. I'm also more in the moderate camp--my main philosophy is the "moderation in all things" one. Most of the women in my town are the opposite of the OP's situation--they are very granola and thin and their kids only eat organic and wholesome stuff. I admit to being one of the chubby ones, though that doesn't mean I'm not doing my darndest to foster a healthy lifestyle in my home (and I'm a big home fitness fiend which is why I'm on this board). Anyway, I don't happen to be terribly social in my neighborhood but I'm not antisocial either. I just go with the flow and pick and choose my social engagements. I don't think there's anything wrong with skipping an event if you don't think you'll enjoy it. You don't even need an excuse, really. You can just say "no thank you."

OK, now I'm babbling. My only advice to the OP is I like what someone else said about seeking out people you may have more in common with--at health food stores, etc. I don't know what to do about your kids being friends with people you don't jive with--haven't faced that one yet.

 

[GMonkey]

Thanks, Fig! Your blog is cute!

 

[janie1234]

Well, as a moderate parent, I get crap from both sides. I allow my 13 year old daughter an occasional soda and let her watch TV and the uber health nuts give me a bunch of attitude and the KFC for dinner bunch think that I'm a controlling nazi.

Methinks some of this venting is akin to gossip...gasp! I bet that these fat moms love their kids just as much as you love yours.

We are all imperfect. Even if we monitor every morsel our child ingests, they just might have a soda, or even a goldfish cracker from the floor, and they might not even die from it (unless they are diabetic)!

If you don't like them, don't hang out with them. Have them drop their kids off with you, or drop your kids with them.

Hey don't get me wrong. My kids have the occassional ice cream cone and I like to bake cookies somebody has to eat them. And maybe some of you may think that it is gossip me asking advice, . . . sorry if you think so I would have to disagree. Now is it whinny , . . yeah, . .I'd agree with you there. I am complaining, . . I sorta thought it was okay to come here for a shoulder to lean on with my dilema sorry to offend. I don't doubt the other mom's love their kids they just parent differently. I just don't appreciate all the sarcastic remarks I get from them when I choose not to do what they do. I have never joked with them or made fun about their parenting style. I am sure they would take offense if I said to them that they are feeding their kids over processed food and that it isn't good for them. I also never said anyone was perfect. I am far from perfect. Just so you know I make mistakes on a daily basis.

 

[GMonkey]

Hey don't get me wrong. My kids have the occassional ice cream cone and I like to bake cookies somebody has to eat them. And maybe some of you may think that it is gossip me asking advice, . . . sorry if you think so I would have to disagree. Now is it whinny , . . yeah, . .I'd agree with you there. I am complaining, . . I sorta thought it was okay to come here for a shoulder to lean on with my dilema sorry to offend. I don't doubt the other mom's love their kids they just parent differently. I just don't appreciate all the sarcastic remarks I get from them when I choose not to do what they do. I have never joked with them or made fun about their parenting style. I am sure they would take offense if I said to them that they are feeding their kids over processed food and that it isn't good for them. I also never said anyone was perfect. I am far from perfect. Just so you know I make mistakes on a daily basis.

Well, if they feel comfortable enough with you to be sarcastic, maybe you should be sarcastic right back. There is a fine line between sarcasm and offense, though. I use humor in most situations and some people become offended, but it's a good acid-test for people I choose to hang out with. If you aren't used to snark...test out a few remarks. If they make fun of you, you have total license to make fun back...just be sure to keep it light.

BTW--I wasn't offended. I just think that complaining about people, which I do ALL THE TIME, is not unlike gossip. I do it and admit to it. I try not to gossip about people we all know, however. I tend to gossip anonymously, as you did here, which is fine. Sometimes we also complain about others to demonstrate how much better we are. I did it all the time when I complained about the morons in my Anatomy and Physiology class, so I could brag to my husband about how much smarter I was than everyone else in the class. Not pretty, but true. Obviously, you are creating a more nutritious foundation for your children than these other moms are, and you deserve kudos for that. They view your decisions as a rejection of how they parent, which is very personal, so they will snipe with sarcasm. You came here to vent, but also to get those kudos from us. You certainly aren't getting praise from them, and it's natural for us to need a "hey, good job!" from people. It's fine, just admit it. Maybe if you could try to think of something they do as parents that you appreciate and tell them about it. They might even break down and congratulate you on your nutrition skills and ask for recipes.