moms - rewarding kids

jcm

jcm

Cathlete
Hi to all moms! My daughter is in kindergarten and I just made a chart for practicing her reading. After a certain amount of time spent I want to come up with different rewards - and not necessarily money or stuff. Things like: a bike ride, trip to the park, time with grandma alone, picking out what we have for dinner...

Anyway, I'm looking for either ideas or some good web sites that would give some ideas!

Thanks!
 
How about mom/daughter day?

Time to watch a favorite TV show.

Helping you "cook" in the kitchen?


Debbie


I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
--Elayne Boosler
 
Okay, I'm not a mom, but was a nanny and babysitter for years -- and I'm sure I'll be in the minority, but I think rewarding kids for something that they SHOULD do or something that you should be teaching them is fun, in and of itself, is not a good idea.

I took care of quite a few kids who loved nothing more than reading...and they were never rewarded to learn. Heck, they had been "pretend reading" for years.

Okay, start flaming me.
 
>Okay, I'm not a mom, but was a nanny and babysitter for years
>-- and I'm sure I'll be in the minority, but I think rewarding
>kids for something that they SHOULD do or something that you
>should be teaching them is fun, in and of itself, is not a
>good idea.
>
>I took care of quite a few kids who loved nothing more than
>reading...and they were never rewarded to learn. Heck, they
>had been "pretend reading" for years.
>
>Okay, start flaming me.
>
>

*ignites TeTe....FWOOSH*

;)


Debbie


I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
--Elayne Boosler
 
Do you have a children's museum or a zoo in your area? My DD loves to go to both of those.

You could also do some fairly inexpensive "stuff" rewards like new barettes for her hair, jewelry or cute socks.

Lori
 
yeah, . . i can tell you are not a mom, . .but i won't flame you because i don't necessarily dissagree with what you've said. when you are a parent and these are your kids and you love them and you're proud of their accomplishments you reward them. heck i know i need to clean the house and cook, exercise, and such . . and no i don't usually get an actual reward for it but there will be times when i will treat myself and buy myself something nice because it makes me feel appreciated. i agree that certain things should just be done chores in our house for example, . . my kids do them because i said so and because i'm bigger than they are. a new task such a reading, learning to read,or potty training, is no small task and i don't feel that it is wrong to reward a child for such an accomplishment. didn't you feel great after finishing Cathe's IMAX 3 straight through? wouldn't it make you feel great to know that you were rewarded for such an accomplishment? yet exercise is good for us and we should do it anyway. do i feel that a child should be rewarded for everything, . . NO and that's where i agree with you. should they be rewarded for doing something that they don't normally do that would give them self esteem and encourage them to do better aboso-freakin-loutley!!!
 
Thanks for the ideas. And by the way - we read everyday and she loves it and she would do it without the reward. I'm a single mom with two kids and the reward is partly so she will bug me so I will remember to have HER read daily. She's all ready repeating kindergarten - this stuff is hard and frustrating for. She doesn't need to repeat a third time.
 
I agree, no flames here!

What I did with my younger DD was just make doing the flash cards fun. We'd cuddle up in my bed and go through them together. It was part of our routine, until she really got rolling with her reading. Now she reads to me.
 
Of course, we (the parents and I) praised and told them how good they were doing, but the little ones I took care of were so pleased with themselves when they could read to me (or their parents), that giving them something for it, well, seemed a little useless...they already felt so good about themselves, it would have probably confused them - "Why am I getting something for doing something I like so much?"

I guess I'm just wondering: Why not see if your child needs to be rewarded. Maybe she will just do it and love it, and rewards aren't even necessary.

Just my opinion based on what worked for the kids I took care of.

Here's an article, but I'm sure that for every one against it, there are two for it!

http://www.canadianparents.ca/CPO/SchoolAged/EducationLearning/2007/02/09/3569316.html
 
I didn't use rewards for reading. I would have if needed. I agree that learning how to read can be difficult and frustrating. During this period, my dd loved it when we took turns reading. It helped her to stay engaged in the story and improve her fluency. She especially liked these books, "You Read to Me and I'll Read to You" and "Poems for Two Voices". Both should be easily found at your local library. Although, the poetry book would be above her level. It's fun for memory work and recitation.

Best of wishes!
 
I think that depends on the kids. My daughter LOVES to read, so this has never been a problem for me. But, of course, there are other things that I've needed rewards to get her to do. Brushing her teeth on her own, potty training, going to tae kwon do class without a fight...

Rewards that worked:
a new Littlest Pet Shop toy (they're like $3)
a trip for ice cream
a trip to the movies, or playground if the weather was nice
a trip to the library to take out videos
an opportunity to avoid a slap on the butt.

(that last one is a joke)
 
i must also add to my previous post, . . . that although reading is fun and enjoyable as it should be for all children, . . it is not easy for all children to learn. i have a 6 year old autistic son he can read and is functioning at his required level but he would much prefer to be read to. my 4 year old daughter can be read to all day long if you had the time and the patience for it. reading is enjoyable but can for a begining learner challenging, . .for an autistic or special needs child with attention issues it can be even more than challenging, . . it can be hard work. so again as i completely agree that rewarding a child for something that in and of itself is a reward is unecessary, . . for the child that may need coaxing and encouragement i find no fault with it. :)
 
6swans4me,

That reminds me of when I was babysitting one night for the little girl I was a nanny for. I guess she was around four at the time. I had read her two books, and I told her it was time for her to go to sleep. She wanted me to "just stay for a while." I said, no, that I had to finish reading a book for an assignment I had --I was in college at the time. She said, "Will you read it to me?" I almost said no, but then I thought, "Why not?" So, I read about five pages of "The Great Gatsby" aloud until she fell asleep. (she even stopped me a couple of times to ask what some words meant, so I guess she had been paying attention!)

Now, she's the one in college. She's 19, but still loves for me to tell her how she had Fitzgerald read to her when she was a kid!
 
So glad to hear from another parent with a "learning challenged" child. My daughter is autism spectrum - ADHD, sensory integration dysfunction, pervasive development disorder. She's doing much better this year but sequencing and visual tracking are hard. So as much as she WANTS to read and likes to practice it can be frustrating. And as a mom with no dad around right now (he's been living out of state) she gets home, we rush through the evening activities of homework, play, dinner, stories (that I read) and bed. Then I think, "another day I forgot to do this reading thing." I'm hoping that with the chart (a little reward after 10 minutes a day for five days) SHE will remind ME to do it!
 
Hi! Have you heard of the "Bob Books"? They are small books in
a box, and each set progresses in difficulty. My daughter is in
kindergarten too, and she was lukewarm about reading until I
bought the first Bob books set. She devoured the books and loves
to read them. Now we've made it through the first two sets, and
she is so proud of herself! Anyway, the books seem to have sparked
her interest in reading, and she wants to read anything she can
get her hands on now. You can get these books at a bookstore or
through Scholastic. I ordered one of the sets through her
classroom book order form. Hope this helps!
:)
 
My first three children loved to read and all did very well in school, in fact my mother used to be concerned that they read too much. Then 5 years after number 3, came number 4 and what a difference. Reading and any form of school work was like going to the doctor for shots. My lofty parental schooling skills went out the window. The only thing that worked for her was sheer bribery. Do this, and you get that. She is now 12 and life has leveled out and she is steadily progressing. Every child and situation is different. Good luck!

Cheryl
 
hey jcm, . . .my ultimate kudo's to you. it is tough raising a "typical kid" a child with special needs requires more attention. my son was diagnoised at the age of 2 and my husband and i were devastated. i've spent years and years going to conferences, taking online courses, and reading every book out there. special needs children do not learn the same way "typical" kids do and positive reinforcement is almost a non option. my son has sensory issues too, he can hear everything, and loves the feel of hair stubble. i know that this may sound funny but i use it as a reinforcement. if he get's through a book with good focus, my little guy has ADD, . . then i let him rub my husbands chin, or my leggs (if we haven't shaved of course). he could do this for hours if you let him, it's his stem behavior. if your daughter has sensory issues use it to your advantage. get a therapy brush, allow her access to cornstarch and water, or make play dough together, feathers, . . my kid loves feathers. good luck to you. ;)
 
Taking Dad's shoes off, after a long day at work.

Bringing Dad a snack.

Bringing Dad the Newspaper.

Cleaning the Garage for Dad.

Washing Dad's Truck.

Mow the grass.

Pull weeds.

You read Huck Fin - Just make it seem like it would be a great treat!!!!;)
 
Bill,

I fell for that as a kid! It was the biggest production when I cleaned the bathroom...I guess I started that chore when I was about six! After about a year I said, "Wait a minute!!! This isn't fun!" I sure did like it up until then, though!

Oh, and I loved polishing my dad's shoes...I really did.
 
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