Mom with Autistic kids about ready to snap!

>
>Her unprofessional behavior just BLOWS ME AWAY! But under the
>law she does not have to treat my son like he has Asperger's
>unless she has a paper telling her that he has it! Otherwise
>he is just a "Learning Disabled" child..KWIM??
>


It upsets me so much when I read this. Learning Disabled, Mentally Retarded, Autism, etc. What should it matter what a child's diagnosis is? IMO, if a teacher sees that a child needs some extra help or special accomodations, wouldn't they want to do everything that they could as a teacher to help this child succeed? Isn't that why someone chooses teaching as a career? This woman should not be in a classroom.
 
I just wanted to update everyone that I did finally get the letter signed by the psychiatrist with the Asperger's diagnosis information I requested.. faxed to me late in the day yesterday...sigh!

I was talking to my boys last night and they were telling me that the special resorce teacher told them that they need to start doing things on their own. This was brought to my attention at the meeting on Tuesday, however it was just mentioned very briefly. The boys told me that they are no longer able to ask questions from the aide in the classroom and they are told "I am sorry I can't help you anymore, you must do it on your own now"...WTH???? This was not a gradual process it was just abruptly stopped....WTH??? I was never notified of this and it was only mentioned in the meeting on Tuesday.."That the boys are working more independently now"...all I can say is that I am at a loss for words...

My son told me yesterday that he is getting an F in his writing class, he is pulled from the general education class and taken to the resource room. In the resource room my son deals with the special resource teacher (the one we are having problems with). I asked my son why he is getting an F, (His writing grade has been on the decline since the start of the year, last grading period he had a D)Here is what my son said "Mom I can't get out of my seat to get a dictionary(My son has a 30% hearing loss and has lots of problems with speech and spelling) I can't ever get out of my seat not to even sharpen my pencil because Mrs %&*^^% won't let me get up. Then if my son asks a question and raises his hand she will not answer him right away, and when she does it is like this "WHAT!" Then my son will ask his question and then she say's "Well I can't help you with that but you better get it done right now Mr..or you will go to MR %^&@@ office" Then my son tells me that she tries to write him up for almost anything she can think of.....ARGH!!! So I asked my son if she treats the other kids in the resource room the same way..and here is what my son told me " Well Mom not really..she will say "WHAT" very mean to me and then walk over to Jimmy and tell him what a nice job he is doing". Then I was asking my son about the student teacher that was at our meeting on Tuesday (Never seen her before Tuesday, she was not at the case conference in December) I asked him if she was nice to him..here is what he said "Well yeah she used to be nice to me when she first came here, but now she treats me just like Mrs &*^%$& does.............WTH???????? ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I swear I am going to blow a gasket...help....
x( x( x( x( x( x( x( x(
 
i hope you bring up what your sons tell you at the next meetings and make sure the teachers are there. all of viola's are there and i have no problem telling them how it is, b/c i will have no problem going over their heads with the attorneys our advocate programs provide for us. viola cannot speak well so if something happen i wouldn't know unless i had to guess through her actions or another child tells me. i am glad your sons can at least tell you,then you know if they do something horrible. i hope their a&&e& get fired,one poster had it right,when you become a special education teacher, you do it for the good of the children. does not sound these teachers have the heart and soul for the job so they should go at teach high school and talk to some students like that. i have a lot of words to describe them and none that can be repeated here }(

kassia


When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be
disappointed to discover they are not it -- Bernard Bailey
 
Kassia,

The whole situation just makes me so freaking angry!!! My sons already have so many issues, and to think that someone is just trying to trigger behavior so she can get write them up...that is just totally wrong!

I never have not had problems with the General education teachers, as a matter of fact they all seemed shocked at the case conference in December that the boys had Asperger's.
All the general education teacher's seemed more than willing to help out. The special resource teacher did nothing to help, and seemed irritated that she was even there. When we started to come up with some solutions the special resorce teacher abruptly ended the meeting. My advocate had all of that in her notes, and she told me in her view that the special resource teacher did not seem like she wanted to help. Many times during the case conference the special resource teacher would turn to the computer to type....Never seen that before??? She was not engaged in the conference at all, plus the entire conference was very poorly managed and very unorganized. All other case conferences I have ever had were always well managed and organized and everyone was on the same page. I just can't for the life of me imagine that Middle school is so different????
 
I am SO sorry for all your frustration! My oldest, Ben, will be 20 in April. He's autistic w/ multiple sensory issues, low verbal skills etc. It's a long haul for sure.
Are there any schools around that have a program that deals w/ autism spectrum disorders? That would be worth looking into, if not for placement, then perhaps to do training w/ staff in your sons' middle school for the staff that work w/ them.
We fought tooth and nail to keep Ben in regular school w/ support (paraprofessionals, OT, speech etc), but it was so frustrating for him, them and us. Because the staff there is trained and skilled w/ dealing w/ kids w/ these specific issues, there is less frustration for the children. Are there still behavior meltdowns? Sure, but less frequent and handled compassionately and safely, which I can't say is the case for the way your son was treated. Also, because of a lower teacher:pupil ratio, a lot of crises/frustrations can be headed off before they are a problem. Here's a link to Ben's program that gives you an overview:
http://www.ouboces.org/specialed/strive.html
A good educational lawyer is an asset, (I haven't gone that route, but know of folks who've had to), a good case mgr./advocate (someone you choose), and maybe even a therpaist to help YOU deal w/ your overwhelming frustration.
I've sometimes felt like I'm speaking a foreign language when dealing w/ school people and other 'experts' (especially psychiatrists!). My prayers are with you and your guys. Keep us posted.
((((HUGS))))
Valerie
 
i really do hope something can be done, when i see ppl triggering viola's behavoir and then they judge me as a parent they certainly get an earful but then when i turn my back i cry. i cry that ppl can be so cruel, i have been through emotional distress and abuse and with austitc children its so intesified that we just couldn't imagine how they feel when somebody brings on the pain and anxiety like that. i hope you can get some changes and soon, maybe this b*$ch
can get fired. i wouldn't shut up about the special resource teacher's actions towards your son and those behavoir. usually when i don't shut up about something they eventually do something just to shut me up }(.

kassia



When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be
disappointed to discover they are not it -- Bernard Bailey
 
Kassia,

You are so right!!! It is so painful to see your child treated this way. I cry a lot! It was hard enough seeing my boys go through their NICU battle when they were born at 28 weeks, the developmental delays, the tantrums, the head banging, the doctor's, the medication issues, the phone calls from the school, trying to get a proper diagnosis..etc..

I am a professional and I am totally appauled by her behavior with my sons. I am an RN and I often have challenging patients when they are in labor and after delievery. I always treat my patients with love and kindness, I treat them like I would want to be treated. I have had wonderful outcomes with drug addicted mother's, pt's with many social issues...etc..I treat everyone with compassion and understanding no matter what is going on. You never know when you may be the person that will change someone's life around. I had a patient several months ago that had tested positive for drugs, as did her baby. I spent a lot of time with this family and I built a wonderful relationship with them. At one point CPS had come in and told the parents that the child would be removed from their care. The baby was in the NICU (policy for baby to be removed from parent's room). The case worker never told the parents they would not be able to see the baby while she was stillan in-patinet(this pt was very sick during and after delivery, so she was not a flight risk)and I was in the room and they were never told. After the caseworker left the parents went to see their baby, and they were not allowed to see the baby. I spoke with my co-workers and found out that the case worker told them not to let the parents see the child. I was so mad I was crying, and I told the parents I would see what I could do!! I called the caseworker immediately, and basicly she told me that the only reason she said that was because she did not feel we had enough staff to supervise the parent's in the NICU...WTH??? So long story short the parents were able to see the infant, and the parents thanked me over and over for getting involved. I hope that maybe I made a difference.
 
Denise this teacher needs to go ASAP!!!!! You should start keeping a log of everything that this teacher does/says. We have some of our teachers do this b/c we've got some difficult parents - that way when it is time for a meeting you've got everything on paper.

Good luck!
 
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