Leaving Olivia to teach

T

Tammyspq

Cathlete
Hey all you experienced mommies, any advice as I begin my plan to return to teaching and have to leave my little girl. I currently breastfeed without pumping/bottles/pacifier (I have them but don't use them). Olivia will mostly be with her dad, but she still screams when he holds her (they have certain special moments but they can not be predicted). I worry about leaving her with him and/or in the nurseries.

How have any of you breastfed (solely) and taught classes? How did you go about it? Any tips on preparing baby for being separated from me? I do have a breastpump and pacifiers but I'm trying to hold off using them as Olivia is only 5 1/2 weeks.

HELP! How can I prepare my family for this inevitable transition?

Thanks! jeni
 
Hi Jeni,
I haven't been to this board in a loooonng time! My little boy is 7 months old and doesn't like mommy to have too much computer time. But your post reminded me of my son at 5 1/2 weeks!
I breastfed solely for about 4-5 months. Then I started to pump. I was lucky that my son really didn't have much of a problem taking the bottle. Once he realized what was coming out of the bottle he adjusted pretty quick! I still breastfeed primarily, but having the option of a bottle when we're out, or when daddy is watching him, is great.
Since your daughter is only 5 1/2 weeks old, I can totally understand not wanting to try the bottle yet. It might just be too early for both of you; it was for me. But that is a personal decision.
I don't teach areobics, but I do consulting work. Most of my work is done from here but there are times when I have to leave. When my son was Olivia's age, I tried to feed him right before I had to leave him. At that time he would go 2-3 hours in between feedings. Your daughter sounds very similar to my son, at 5-6 weeks he would have screaming fits and the only one that could calm him down was me. Daddy couldn't always do it; sometimes but not usually. It was exhausting. All I can say is that he grew out of it. He still has crying fits, but it's different now. He plays in his megasaucer and jumpy seat these days, and daddy can calm him down when he gets upset.
Sorry this is so lengthy! As for breastfeeding at that stage, I just couldn't be away from my son for more than a couple of hours. Sorry, I guess I don't really have a solution for you - all I can say is good luck! Before you know it she'll be eating solid foods - I can't believe how fast this all goes by. Where did the last 7 months go?!?!
Melissa
 
Melissa, thanks for your reply, I'm going to share it with my husband. It was actually very helpful because sometimes my dh and I feel "alone" in our experiences. When you're in your house with a screaming baby, it seems as though you're the only one's "suffering".

I'm prepared to keep "one feeding away" from my daughter. I think I'm afraid that she'll prefer the bottle of breast milk to actually breastfeeding. The La Leche League book is not helping either because it cautions HEAVILY against doing anything that can cause nipple confusion. Seems as though it doesn't consider the working mommy.

Anyway, thanks for your input, it is greatly appreciated!!

jeni
 
[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON Oct-23-02 AT 03:14PM (Est)[/font][p]Hi Jeni-
I had the same situation with my son - I was planning on going back to work - but I just couldn't do it. At the last minute I decided to be a stay at home mom. That being said, I understand that everyone is in a different situation. Baby #2 should be here within a month. I'll be nursing too.

How long do you need to be gone from her? When you say-- "I'm prepared to keep "one feeding away" from my daughter."-- do you mean that she'll only miss one breast feeding session at a time? If that is the case, you probably won't need to pump while you're out - which is a great relief!

I would suggest that you start pumping a little bit now - not necessarily every day - but pump at the end of a feeding until you have a stockpile of frozen breast milk for your DH to feed to your daughter. I would also suggest that you try to schedule a couple of times per week (before you actually go back to work) where DH is "in charge" so that he can try and give a bottle of expressed milk and she'll get used to his soothing techniques. It would probably be best if you took a short walk or drive so that you're not actually there. (Babies seem to have a 6th sense when it comes to mommie!)

I've read that La Leche has recently been more accepting of moms that are returning to work, and their website has pupmping/bottlefeeding and returning to work information. You may want to peruse this list of articles:

http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/FAQMain.html

down towards the bottom there is a section entitled:

Pumping, Working, and Breastfeeding

and articles:
I Need to Feed My Baby from a Bottle. Can You Help?
and
What Is the Father's Role in the Breastfeeding Relationship?

I hope this helps

Please remember - this is a short stage in her life - she needs you more than anything - you are her whole world. It is so fleeting - try and enjoy it!

Oh - I just remembered - about your concern that Olivia will like the bottle better than the breast - I had the same concern - I was totally paranoid that my son would stop wanting me after he had a taste of the bottle. As it turned out - my son HATED the bottle. He wouldn't drink from a bottle at all. He had to be given milk from a sippy cup that just dribbled into his mouth, or from a regular cup. He never took to a bottle at all although I tried lots of different nipples, etc. You could just try and use a sippy cup or small feeding cups - it may ease your mind a bit. Here's a link that has Ameda Baby Cups for feeding expressed breast milk:

http://www.ElizabethLee.com/accys/nnn.htm

Jennifer k
 
WOW! Thanks for your input. I'll be checking out the websites. I only have to leave her to teach an exercise class. If she stays with dh, I would be about 2 hours start to finish. However, there may be times when I sub a class that she has to go into the nursery while I teach, which would be about 1 hour and 15 minutes. I don't want her screaming in the nursery the whole time for fear they won't let her back. But what you said about the 6th sense is so true. My dh insists that she cries longer and hard when I'm home, but when I've left for an hour to workout, he says she has "bouts" of crying that last 10-15 minutes or less and ends up crying herself to sleep.

Thank you so much for your feedback. I'm feeling better and better...jeni
 
Oh Boy Jeni, you are not alone!
I remember feeling like Ryan would just cry all day if I wasn't holding him! When he was around 5-6 weeks, I would actually wear him a good chunk of the day in a front carrier. It was one of the only places he was happy.
It's exhausting and frustrating but, and I know you've probably heard this alot, it does get better! Not that I'm an expert; my son is only 7 months old; but I'm just amazed every day by how much he grows and changes.
Now if I could just get him to sleep throught the night.....
Good Luck!
Melissa
 
I worked part time at night for a while after having my first, so he stayed home with Daddy. He pretty much did cry much of the time, and he simply REFUSED the bottle. (I was gone for a good six hours at least.) We just made up for it as best we could~we nursed very heavily around the clock while I was home~he had to be in bed with me for this, or I'd never have survived! LOL! I have talked to other moms with the same problem. They would nurse before work, go and nurse at the sitters at lunch, and around the clock heavily once the work day was finished. It doesn't sound like your schedule will require this much craziness! (((((HUGS))))) sandi
 
Just my two cents too:

Don't be too worried to pump. It keeps your milk supply up and will make nursing better in the long run for those times you need to be away. You'll be amazed at how much you can express! It is kind of neat to accomplish it! It is still your milk and the nutrition is the same. Pumping is a fabulous way to balance feedings and your supply and continue with your busy life. Good luck!

Becky
 
Hi Jeni!

When I returned to teaching high school, my daughter was only 6 months old and I wanted to breast feed until she was one. I would feed her right before I took her to the sitter, would pump while I ate lunch (now how did I do that :-hmmm), then would feed her as soon as I picked her up. Before I went to bed at night I would pump, so the next day, Karli always had breast milk from a bottle while at the sitters. She typically took both bottles. I guess we were fortunate because she never really seemed to care if she ate from me or the bottle, but she seemed to prefer me. We kept this routine up until she was one.

It was a bit of a hassle, but I'm so glad it worked and was able to do it. I guess when I first saw your post, I assumed a school teacher instead of an aerobics teacher! Whatever you try, hope it works for you. Oh, by the way, Karli cried the first four months or so every time she was left with DH. Now at 20 months, daddy is her favorite. It just takes time. Enjoy them while they are little.

Sami
 
Some may disagree with me, but if you've established a good nursing relationship, I'd go ahead and begin a bottle now and again. With my first, I waited too long, and he never would take a bottle... leaving me unable to have a sitter (or daddy, for that matter) able to attend to him for more than a few hours until he was probably 7 or 8 mos. old.

Of course, I teach prenatal classes, so I can take Robby with me... but I find him to be a bit of a distraction sometimes, so I'll often put him in the childwatch at the YMCA. I feed him right before class (it's also good for me not to go into class with full breasts), and, if necessary right after...

He also became a paci baby at the late age of 4 mos. because of the childwatch!! He never would keep one in his mouth, but I'd always carry one if I shopped... If he cried, I'd hold it in his mouth while pushing the cart with one hand, and he'd suck on i, but would pop it out the moment I'd let go. I gave the paci to the caregiver one night when I was afraid he'd be fussy telling her that she could use it if she was desperate, but that he'd probably spit it out... in ONE NIGHT he learned to use it... and it's just such a nice little tool that I ended up using it more and more. I sort of wish I hadn't gotten into this little habit, though, because now he wants it, and I'll have to wean him from it later... however,it is nice for caregivers and daddys who have no boobs :) LOL
Susan
 
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