Leaving lurkville...

N

NeverGiveUp

Member
Hello fellow Catheites! I'm a long time lurker, and feel like I "know" many of you already. It's good to be posting! :)

I'm going through a difficult time in my personal life, and felt like now is a good time to reach out. I've been working out with Cathe for about 4 years, and have lost 75 pounds. I've got about 60-70 more pounds to lose. I joined Weight Watchers 6 weeks ago, but have had little success. The reason I haven't had much success is that I can't seem to get ahold of myself. I have a few great days- I stay within my Point/calorie range, exercise, get enough sleep, etc; and then I have days when I get stressed and I turn to food and blow all my hardwork. This is a hard ingrained pattern for me. I figured it out a few years ago, and keeping thinking that just being aware of it is helping me. Knowing, apparently, is only half the battle.

I'm dealing with some stressful issues right now, financial and relationship wise. There are minutes that I feel good...and confident and in control. However there are others where I feel weak, completely undisciplined and scattered. Is there anyone else out there that feels this way? How do you cope? I don't want to throw in the towel, so to speak, on my health goals...but sometimes my health goals seem to take too much effort and focus. It can be overwhelming...

I'd really like to buddy up with someone to help me find a balance and re-group.

Thanks for reading my long intro post. :)

Connie
 
Welcome, Connie! First, off, congrats on all your hard work already! Obviously some things are working well for you to have shed such a good deal of weight. Super high fives to you :)

I think you will find much comfort in that many people deal with much of the same issues as you. I can't imagine a single person here doesn't succumb to the stress of binge eating every once in a while, myself included.

When I am stressed, I often find that is the greatest time to have a hard workout, indulge in a bath, read, or whatever else makes me happy. Food really controlled my life for a very long time as I spent my entire childhood obese. Even though I have kept a handle on my weight loss for 15 years, it is just within the last 5 or so years that I really have learned the best combination for of food and exercise that works for my body.

Any questions you have or help you need, don't be afraid to ask. We all try to help each other best we can. That is how we learn and regroup!


Debbie

I don't want to take a pill. Go to Africa, go follow some bushman around. He's being chased by a lion. That's stress. You're not going to find a pygmy on Paxil, I'll tell you that right now.
-Ellen Degeneres
 
Hi Connie,
Like Debbie said, most of us here struggle with our diets. What you have done so far is terrific and I'm sure you are strong enough to meet your goals. I've learned not to beat myself up when I slip, but to climb back up on the clean eating bandwagon. You may want to join in on one of the check-ins. I also remember Cathe once suggesting you drop and do 10 push ups every time you find yourself reaching for a not-so-healthy treat. Sometimes that helps me. Also, the suggestion to not have your trigger foods in the house works. Really. Good luck.
 
Connie,

Congratulations on going from lurker to poster! There are so many amazing women on this forum.

Maybe you could start some kind of check-in. You can find others in similar situations and be each others' support systems.

Welcome!
 
Hey Connie!
First, I just want to congratulate you on your accomplishment! 75 pounds is amazing! You have to have a great deal of discipline to have come this far. As Debbie and Robin have said, everyone falters. I do almost daily. But, like Robin said, you can't beat yourself up too much. I slap myself on the wrist and move on. I had discovered that beating myself up for it not only made me miserable but made my DH quite miserable too.

One thing I have done that has helped me is very cliche, I know, but I put an old photograph of myself and DH -- young and pre-kids -- on the fridge. We both were very trim in the picture. Whenever I open the fridge, I see it and it reminds me of where I want to be, and many times it stops me from overindulging. A few weeks ago I saw a family member whom I hadn't seen in a couple of years (she's a missionary). The last time she visited me at home was right after my youngest son was born, and I was about 50 pounds overweight. She laughed at my fridge-photo at the time. WHen I saw her a few weeks ago, she said, "Congrats, you got down to your fridge-photo size. You said you'd do it, and you did!" I really am not quite there, but it made me feel good. The photo is simply a goal reminder.

Also, I try to keep water handy, and when I feel a twinge of hunger or feel like emotional eating, I drink lots of water, and it fills me up. I'm trying to replace emotional eating with exercise too. Robin's suggestion of doing pushups when you feel like reaching for a treat is such a great idea. I wish I had thought of that one before I ate the cupcake today! :)

Most of all, this forum has helped me tremendously! I know it will be such a good outlet for you too! Welcome!
 
Welcome, Connie!
And congratulations on your 75-pound weight loss! That's quite an accomplishment.
 
Welcome Connie! Congratulations on your weight loss... 75 pounds - WOW! That's fantastic! What an accomplishment. You have a lot to be proud of already! But I'm sorry for what you're going through & hope things improve in your life soon. Like others have already said, most of us struggle with our diets. I know I do & it can be a daily battle. This is a wondeful forum with lots of great members who can offer some excellent motivation & good advice. Another thing that others have already mentioned is joining one of the check-in groups. There is a weight watchers group & many others so maybe just browse around over there & see if one of them interests you. Just a thought. Anyway, glad you decided to join us & hope to see you around a lot more!:)
 
Hi Connie,

Congratulations on your weight loss. You have come so far already, please don't give up!!

I can relate to dealing with some stressful issues. I just came out of a very difficult period dealing with a relationship issue and the death of a very, very close aunt. It was about 5 months of horror. I felt out of control and struggled with keeping to my workout and eating schedules. It was very hard and I fell off the wagon many times. As strange as this may sound, the times that I did keep on my schedule gave me comfort as it was a sense of normalcy in my suddenly out of control world. In a way working out has become my release valve that keeps me in check both physically and mentally. Quite simply, I feel better about myself when I workout.

It's important to remember that we are all human and we will have our struggles and challenges. It is in those trying moments that we find our true strengths and our true selves. Don't beat yourself up for succumbing to a moment of weakness. When I usually do that, I will write down how I felt and when I feel a stressful situation coming on, I remember how I felt. This causes me to STOP and think before mindless diving into a box of cookies. It actually works, but it takes time to train your mind.

Please be gentle with yourself. You are not alone. Please don't give up!!! You have come so far already.
 
Wow, what a warm welcome! Thank you all so much! It feels really good to know that I'm not the only one that struggles with unhealthy food choices, makes me feel "normal".

I like the idea of doing something physical when I want to eat something junky. I don't know about push-ups, I stink at those! lol Though maybe that means I SHOULD be doing more of them. ;)

I will check out the daily check-ins, and am sure I'll find one that would be a good fit for me.

Thanks again! :D
 
Jane,

Thank you for sharing about your recent stress issue and the loss of your Aunt. My sincere sympathy.

What you said about these trying moments helping us find our true selves makes sense, but for me it feels like I'm at a disadvantage. I've always thought of myself as strong and positive....but I haven't been that way with this situation at all. It's disheartening...and alarming to me. I have some strategies that I know have worked in the past, but it's hard to get up the momentum to actually DO something.

Yet, doing something is precisely what I need to do. It doesn't have to be all or nothing- I put that pressure on myself too often. A little improvement is still an improvement, right?

Thank you so much for your response. I promise I won't give up. I've come too far to ever give up on my health, even though I take "vacations" from time to time. ;)

Connie :)
 
Hi Connie,

Just wanted to welcome you, too! I also lurked for many months before I plucked up the courage to start posting. This is such a warm, friendly group of people, and I know you'll find the support you need. That is also so wonderful that you've already managed to lose so much weight! I hope others can offer you some good advice.

Leanne
 
Connie,

I just wanted to add that like you, I have always thought of myself as strong and positive but going through the situation with losing my aunt and the relationship issue really knocked me down. I wasn't positive at all and I was very depressed. I literally had to force myself to get up every morning to go to work. I had good days and bad days but I did what I could to get through each day. My positive side knew that I would get through it and there was a light at the end of the tunnel but there were days that I just didn't feel very positive.

There were days that I worked out but my mind was not focused and I would end up quitting after an half hour but still I tried. And yes, a little improvement is still an improvement.

I miss my aunt very much but I have finally gotten closure with that and my relationship issue as well. It is at this time that I am grateful for what I went through because I have learned so much about myself and I feel more strong and confident.

I know that you will get through your difficult situation as well. You sound like a strong woman. I'm sure that you will come through this as strong as ever!

Take care and have a great weekend,
 
http://www.smileyskit.com/signs-symbols-smileys_files/welcome1.gif , Connie! Glad you decided to start posting. And congrats on the tremendous progress you've made so far!

I tend to eat when I'm stressed, too, so I really appreciate the great suggestions you've gotten here, especially the idea to drop and do 10 before you indulge or write down what you're feeling before you go on a stress-induced binge. You could also eat a piece of fruit or drink a full glass of water before you indulge in anything that would throw off your diet.

Of course, WW allows you to still treat yourself to those things now and then. I have been doing the online program for three weeks. During the second week, it was a busy, high-stress week at work and I wound up going over points. But I'm learning to SLOW down when I eat and savor the taste of each bite rather than inhale as much as I can.

A check-in group would be a great way to keep yourself on track. There are so many to choose from and new members are always welcome. Just pop in and introduce yourself. If you don't see one to fit your needs, as someone else said, start one!

I check in daily with the cheetahs group (a bunch of friendly & inspiring runners of all ages, sizes, shapes and speeds) and the CABs & Abs group (a small group of fun & supportive women who work out hard but like to play, too). Feel free to join us!

Good luck & continued success with your fitness goals!

[font face="heather" font color=brick red size=+2]~Cathy [/font face] http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/wavesmile.gif
"Out on the roads there is fitness and self-discovery and the persons we were destined to be." -George Sheehan
 
Connie,

Congratulations on the weight loss. I think we all struggle at one time or another with the various things related to eating and working out, so you are surely not alone.

I agree with the others, why don't you join a check in? I am on the Xers and you are welcome to come and check in with us. We completed the X last year, but have become good friends and still checkin while doing Cathe and other workouts.

I think that all of us would say that the check in really helped us to stay focused when things got a little tough, or boring, or whatever it was that was interfering with our progress.

Tracy
 
Thank you all for the warm welcome and all the offers to join Check Ins! Since reaching out here I've been feeling much better about myself and the stressful personal situation I'm in right now. You all are the best!

Connie :)
 
Wow, Connie! I'm very impressed with your weight loss. You obviously know a lot about how to take control, and I'll bet you don't really need much advice, just support. We all need support, and you've certainly come to the right place. The people here are wise, caring and supportive. So, WELCOME!!! :D

I'll try my hand at one little bit of "advice" which you probably already know: At times in my life when I felt I needed to lose weight, I found that my biggest roadblock to success was guilt. If I ate one thing I thought was "bad", I'd have to eat the whole box or the whole bag just to deaden my guilt feelings. I had to learn that one piece of cake was not so bad, and that eating the whole cake made things a lot harder. If I could say to myself "No big deal. The piece of cake was delicious and I enjoyed it, and that's the end of that", weight loss was soooooooo much easier. In other words, the all or nothing syndrome was always my biggest downfall.

Again, Welcome!
 
Thank you for your kind words, Nancy. :) I appreciate your perspective, and think you're absolutely right. I need more support than advice...I always appreciate advice from wise women, though. ;)

Ahhh yes, I see you've been spying on me since you know that I've been finishing off a bag of this or that just because I started it. :+ :p I will think of you and how much I enjoyed the 1 serving of whatever now. Of course, I'll do myself the extra-favor and save myself any temptation by just not bringing any of those naughty foods into my house. I'm not eating out much right now, so I should be pretty safe there.

Thanks again! Nice to meet you!

Connie :)
 
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