Is this normal behavior for 12 y.o

[sbigelow]

Hello everyone,

I was wanting some opinions on this. I have a 12 year old stepson who lives with us. Last Friday, I was going to wash everyones sheets and when pulling the pillow out of his pillow case I also pulled out 3 pairs of girls underwear. 1 Frilly pair, one pair that was actually a girls swimsuit bottom and the other pair was MINE! After he came home from school my husband asked him about it and wondered where he got the other 2 pairs of underwear from. He admitted shoplifting them from Target when he was there with his Mother. I called his Mom to inform her, and she took him back to Target to make him pay for them and they also showed him the security cameras, what they do to shoplifters etc. His mother has set up an appt with a counselor and I have a call into his pediatrican. I know the stealing is not normal behavior and I personally think that having the girlie underwear is a little warped but maybe its all part of growing up. What are your thoughts.

 

[ZT27]

He could be a closeted cross dresser, has a fetish for girl's undies or he might be a homosexual. Stealing is probably is normal as he doesn't want anyone to know he likes girl's undies. I don't know a boy full of hormones that does not have a bit of fetish for girls undergarments. All I have to say is boys are strange at that age and it probably will continue until they're 16 or 18. Hopefully my sons won't do that but who knows? I still have about 10 and 12 yrs to go before they get to that age. I wish you a lot of luck and hopefully things work out. Overall, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Lisa

 

[sparrow]

I concur with Lisa about not worrying about it to much. I mean a 12 year old boy is basically a hormone with feet! Curiosity about girls and their undies is pretty normal IMHO. Granted, he can't be allowed to get away with stealing, regardless of his urges, and his dad might need to talk to him about respecting YOUR privacy but all in all, I don't think it's a big deal. I would wonder if taking him to a counselor and the doctor is the right approach? I'd hate for a boy with normal urges to start thinking there is something wrong or "bad" inside him.

DISCLAIMER: I don't have kids. This is just all my opinion.

Sparrow

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage

 

[ZT27]

I agree with Sparrow. I'm not sure if a counselor and a doctor would be a good approach. He's only 12 and kids at that age are pretty much weird, somewhat perverted, etc. You can ask any guys what they were like at that age and they'd say the same thing. They don't think straight, very curious about girls, etc.... I'd have the father talk with him. It's better that way because it's more personal and more of bonding. Taking him to the doc and psychologist would just make him feel worse and you could scar him for life doing that. If he was a klyptomaniac then I'd worry. I think he's far from one.

Lisa

 

[sbigelow]

Yes, I was thinking the same thing about the counselor-I am not sure if that would do any good. I don't want to embarrass him. As far, as the pediatrician goes, I was just calling her to get some feedback since I have very little experience with raising boys--I thought she might be able to provide me with a little insight as well. My husband and I have a 5 year old daughter together. We have had custody of my stepson since he was 5 and I am finding out little boys are definitely wired differently than little girls, however I am sure as my daughter gets older she will have her little issues as well. All part of growing up I guess. Thanks for your repsonses.

 

[ZT27]

Frankly, I think all kids are weird at those ages! I know I was as well as my sister and other people. Girls are weird in a different way than boys at the age. Just be there for him, etc. Try not to embarass him though because boys are a lot more sensitive at that age and it could scar him for life. Boys are a lot more sensitive, too. He will turn out to be a fine young gentleman thanks to you and your DH.