Is childbirth that bad?

F

Fitstick

Cathlete
I know this will seem like a juvenile question... but I am scared to get pregnant because I am scared of the pain and the whole childbirth experience. I have always been easy to faint and not good with my doctor visits, it takes enough just to get through a regular exam-- anyways, I am not getting any younger, so I just wanted to ask.

Thanks in advance for sharing.

PS> I passed out during the Miracle of Life video!
 
Well I haven't had a baby yet, but I'm almost 35 weeks along. And I am a pain wimp too, generally quite full of fear.
But what I wanted to say is that in my experience, we find the strength to rise to the occassion when we need to! I used to think that when I got pregnant I would spend the whole 9 months in fear of the end! But now that I'm pregnant, and NEAR the end, I don't feel too afraid because a) I have read and learned a LOT and b) I know that labor and delivery are a NECESSARY component to moving from pregnancy to parenthood! There's no way this little girl is coming out of here unless I go through it! So that, at least maybe subconsciously, gives me strength.

You will rise to the occassion too! I wouldn't let that stop you- good luck,
Lisa
 
Another wimp here, but I very much agree with Lisa above. Don't let the pain factor change any plans for you. You will fall in love with the baby before it's even born and trust me you will do anything in your power to help it along and protect it. My fears diminished while pregnant even though I'm pretty much a wimp, I believe due to my "falling in love with the baby". Good luck on your decision.
Lisa
 
I'm sorry for gigglin here ms fitstick, but YES it is that bad, but then again, so is leaner legs. I still remember doing that video for the first time two months after my baby was born and thinking, "boy, I don't which was worse, childbirth or LL" So pain is a relative thing. I am an intense whimp and I'd have to say that I thought I was going to die, but just as others have said "you will rise to the occassion, God has made it this way" There is a purpose for the pain, just as there is a purpose for the pain in working out, make sense? Both produce good results. I will add that since working out, I can handle pain much better and have handled childbirth much like a workout. I encourage you not to "not have a baby" due to the pain, it does pass!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Briee
 
Just thought I would chime in here and add my two cents...
I have had 3 kids, and yes the pain is beyond what you can imagine. However, you forget it the moment that baby is placed in your arms for the first time (otherwise no one would ever have more than 1 baby)! It is so worth it.
Try to find a doctor that you feel comfortable with and talk about your fears and anxieties. I delivered all 3 of my kids with midwives, and I personally found it less intimidating to talk with a midwife than a doctor. Many ob/gyn practices have midwives now, and even if you don't feel comfortable having them deliver you, it may help you out to see them during your visits as they generally are able to spend a little more time answering questions and talking with you (that is, if you decide you want to have a baby).

Anyways, I am rambling, but the overall message I want to send to you is don't let fear of pain be the deciding factor. Having children changes your life forever and the decision about becoming a parent is a serious one, but the pain of childbirth will eventually end and become a distant memory (of course all mothers love to share their birth stories).

Good luck to you in your decision.
Tracy
 
I'm glad to see such honest answers! Yes, I found labor to be beyond my expectations regarding the pain. But ... my labor was quite short and I did it w/ absolutely no medication or epidurals. And I have to say that after that experience I actually felt like a woman. And that four hours of unbelievable pain is nothing compared to the three years of pure love our daughter has brought into our home. Don't let the fear of a few hours stop you from what will be an amazing experience (loving that little person more than you knew was humanly possible).

Good luck.
 
Thank you for your input and honest responses. For a minute I thought I would get bom-blasted here because I made my concerns sound so simplistic. But I have thought through the whole issue of parenting and my final obstacle is this fear of doctors and hospitals in general. I am totally with you in exploring options and checking into a midwife. I would probably be much better off going the home delivery route if I could-.. I also don't have an OB/GYN that I am totally comfortable with, I had to switch to a new doctor just recently due to my insurance coverage.

But I know there is a lot more to giving birth than the actually delivery, so I am sorry if I offended anyone. I am just curious what childbirth is really like and have heard some scary stories.
 
I had posted a long version of "it hurts but it's worth it," but I deleted the post for fear of being seen as negative.

I saw a Physician's Assistant for my prenatal care because the only OB available was evil. I had a different OB for the birth and he was great.

For some people, it eases their fears to find out as much as they can about the various different kinds of births... for others, it works better to be in total denial until the end. Just cope with it the way that seems right for you.
 
Excellent responses.

Pretty painful, true, like period cramps from Hell. And what helped me was to have taken some prenatal birthing classes through my hospital..I have also heard good things about the natural birthing classes, BRADLEY is the name. Doula's are also supposed to help especially with first time moms. I have also heard great things about water births and home births. I saw something on hypnosis for birthing the other day too!

I myself had 3 delightful hospital deliveries with very caring staff and doctors...and 3 delightful epidurals. Truly. They worked great for me, although some are squeamish or don't want to use them for other reasons.

Do all the education you can and you will likely find it comforting! Sometimes not knowing what to expect can make things worse. It does help to talk to other moms. Gotta stick together! :)



Jen
 
Hey fitstick, if you ever want to email or talk on or off the board (just click on my email icon) I'd be happy to answer any questions regarding the homebirth route. I've had 3 babies in the hospital, but all natural and the last 2 I had at home. I too have never found an OB/gyn that I much cared for (I'm not saying they aren't out there), but I much prefer having a baby the way God intended rather than all the interventions. I have more of a fear of having epidural needles stuck in me than of the actual "act of childbirth" itself and all the other things that can come along with hospital births. And I probably shouldn't have even stated all that - please don't blast me guys - this is stricly opinion here :9 :9 :9 :9 .

There are some wonderful midwives out there that can offer LOTS of support and knowledge in the area of childbirth and labor management at home and their statistics are far better than the hospital's thus far. Just a few thoughts.

Briee
 
I hope I don't get into trouble for this response. My last child was the best birth ever. I could have done it once a week, I swear!! I was induced Memorial Day night at 7 pm (diabetes, former failure to progress with my son etc.) We watched the Hockey playoffs after a really nice barbeque. The Pitocin started kickin' at around midnight. I waited for awhile, I admit, crying and shaking quite a bit. The shaking is pretty common but it feels so weird. The Anesthesiologist gave me my WONDERFUL epidural and my daughter was born at 10 am after only FIVE pushes. She was my first and only vaginal birth. I loved it. I know that sounds strange, but it is absolutely exhilarating. The epidural helped me so much, I felt totally in control and I wasn't wiped out from the pain, it also made me relax so much. Her birth was such a joy. I really could do it every week that way. If you think the pain will scare you, you always have the option of pain control. OB nurses will tell you that.
Dawn
 
I hope not. Besides if it were unbearable women would not want more than one child. And i haven't talked to a mother yet who after having one said she didn't want another. Please remind me of this post in the future when I freak out. Thanks in advance.
 
Fitstick,

I too was like you before I had my son! I have always hated needles and pain full stop, although apparently have a high threshold for it. I didn’t worry too much about labour pain until I was very near the end and then I was petrified.

When I finally went into labour, I was on my own and although the pain was bad, was so hyper and excited about Max’s arrival. I remember that I hadn’t packed an overnight bag for either myself or the baby so was very busy with that. Yes, the contractions are painful and I was about 8cm dilated before getting an epidural but in all honesty, although I thought it was bad at the time, I do not now remember the intensity of the pain at all, just that it was painful! When you bear in mind that I was in labour for 24 hours and rushed to theatre afterwards to remove my placenta, that’s no mean feat.

The joy of holding your baby in your arms will be more than worth it. I had been through the mill emotionally before Max’s arrival - DH walked out on me when I was 5 months pregnant with our son. Yet the moment Max was born I felt life was worth living and the joy has just increased since then.

As LHK says, labour is the only way of getting the baby out and it doesn’t last forever. Our children are worth it.

I am still petrified of needles and hated having blood tests last week. But in the throes of labour I literally put that epidural needle in myself - LOL!
 
Drugs. It's the ONLY way to go (sorry Briee)! I almost look forward to going into labor, not only will I have a marvelous newborn...but I get to experience the wonderful aura of Demerol. I am a pain whimp (and a pharmacist) so I totally believe that drugs are there to help us in the time of need. As far as the needle goes, by the time you need the painkiller--you're in so much pain you literally do not feel the needle. I do remember feeling the cool fluid of the medication dripping down my spinal cord. It was wonderful. I know, I know,... I'm weird. :+
 
It depends. For some people there is hardly any pain, and for others, it's 12-18 hours of INTENSE pain. For me, it was 3 hours of INTENSE pain (no epidural, no drugs, except a small shot of demerol). On a scale of 1-10, the pain of childbirth is definitely and 11-12. You don't forget about it, BUT the rewards are TOTALLY worth it.

Also, the pain tends to be less with natural childbirth, vs induced childbirth (mine was induced).
 
Fitstick,

Also keep in mind that nature always come through. By the time
you're into your 9th month, your are so sick of being huge,
uncomfortable, and unable to find any position to sleep in,
you're ready to have that baby pulled out of your nose! I
went through the same concerns you have, only I was in my
seventh month, and then all of a sudden, I got cold feet.
Every woman I bumped into, I grilled for full labor pain
detail. Fast forward two months, and I had no cares on what
kind of pain I was in for, I just wanted to be comfortable
again. The pain is like severe menstral cramps that grow
in intensity as the hours pass. Every second of pain is
so worth that instant you see your new baby and are able to
hold it. There is no way to describe the ultimate joy in
that first instant. Better than any high you could get
from a drug. Good luck to you!!

Tina:7
 
I know that childbirth seems scary, but it really is not that bad. I can say that with all confidence because I had the most wonderful drugs, all medically approved, while I was giving birth. Talk about being loopy, but they were terrific. I even kept telling the nurse how wonderful they were. She later told me I was the nicest and funniest patient she ever had. I was 10 cm dilated when they gave me my epidural, I could not take it any longer, and the rest went by pretty quickly. My theory is why endure pain if you don't want to. Afterall we are living in the age of medical advances. You will be so excited to see your little one that you won't even think about the pain, just bringing him into the world and being able to hold him. This relativity short duration of pain is well worth it when you finally see your little one.
 
For me, childbirth was a 7-8 on a scale of 10. I never got to the part where you cry, yell or scream. I was 5 cm dilated when we arrived at the hospital, and I was a mom (no meds) 8 hours later. I gave birth standing because I was totally uncomfortable in the bed that I was supposed to lie on, LOL! So I just ran/walked around in the room, stopping during contractions. Midwife said that I looked like I was enjoying myself, and I was, although it did hurt. He came out in 3 pushes (6 minutes) and I was happy, although it took me about 14 days before I told DH that I was prepared to give birth again some other time (which will happen early December).

BTW, I avoided ALL birthing horror stories during my pregnancy, including those classes you're supposed to take while pregnant.
 
I was wondering the same thing before I gave birth May 28 to my first baby! Someone said to me several months before - no matter what it feels like, the labour/delivery only lasts hours and the child is yours for a lifetime. I exercised daily until my due date and on my due date, my labour contractions began. Felt like bad menstrual cramps and then they became very very painful. Even then, you know that the baby is on its way. Also, each contraction starts and then peaks (the worst part) then tapers off. Then you have time before the next one to prepare. In the end, the baby comes and you don't care about the pain - b/c the pain is over and your child is there.
 
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