that disturbed me. She was telling me how she went back to school for psycology and she was going to open a Natural health center that combined mental and physical help. Well, I asked her if she has dealt with eating disorders and she goes on to tell me that she doesn't want to train women w/ eating disorders beacuse they are broken and she doesn;t want to fix people and that the rate of recovery is too low to mess with. She then asked me if I had an eating disorder, I said no but I admit that I do and I am tryin to recover but admit that at night I do have my troubles sometimes but any rate, I am suppose to train w/ her again but I feel offended eventhough she doesn't know of my situation. Sory so long.
IOpinions please:I trained w/ a trainer today and she made a comment
- Thread starter luvmylbb
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I believe I would be upset about this, too. I mean, I guess she has a right to feel that way, but it does seem rather cold, especially in someone who has studied psychology and professes to want to provide both mental and physical help. Just what kind of mental help is she expecting to provide? If it's related to physical health, eating disorders seems a natural tie-in.
I'm wondering, too, if she's really qualified to provide counseling of any kind, especially given that she's not interested in "fixing" people and has such a bleak outlook regarding the possibility of actually helping anyone. She definitely doesn't have the "if I can help just one" attitude that keeps most of us teachers going. It almost sounds as though she's just very full of herself and wishes to inflict her own opinions on others.
I'd be very skeptical. As for returning, I don't think I would. I wouldn't make a fuss; I just wouldn't go back. I would never have any confidence in this person, and I would never feel comfortable. I'd feel she looked upon me (and many others) as a burden rather than a challenge, that she just isn't someone I could trust.
Shari
I'm wondering, too, if she's really qualified to provide counseling of any kind, especially given that she's not interested in "fixing" people and has such a bleak outlook regarding the possibility of actually helping anyone. She definitely doesn't have the "if I can help just one" attitude that keeps most of us teachers going. It almost sounds as though she's just very full of herself and wishes to inflict her own opinions on others.
I'd be very skeptical. As for returning, I don't think I would. I wouldn't make a fuss; I just wouldn't go back. I would never have any confidence in this person, and I would never feel comfortable. I'd feel she looked upon me (and many others) as a burden rather than a challenge, that she just isn't someone I could trust.
Shari
allwildgirl
Cathlete
What an absolutely disgustingly horrendous thing to say - that women with eating disorders are "BROKEN" and she doesn't want to fix them. How incredibly unprofessional, cold, unthinking and .... well, I'm so freaking angry that I can't even think.
What the heck kind of psychology did she take? I would avoid her like the plague.
I'm going to go and fume now.x(
What the heck kind of psychology did she take? I would avoid her like the plague.
I'm going to go and fume now.x(
What a lovely response Shari. I agree wholeheartedly. I couldn't put my trust in this person and I could have no personal connection with her, which I think would be adviseable with a personal trainer, with anyone who is going to help you make a positive improvement in your life and who is therefore supposed to have your best interests at heart.
She is rather callous. You can see how she's thinking of this financially rather than humanely, i.e. "I couldn't fix them and they'll fall off the wagon and I won't make money." Or she just sees them as too high a risk.
Given that she professes, as part of her professional profile, to strengthen the mind/body link, and then proceeds to shun indidivuals with a history of eating disordeers, I would have to conclude that the woman is a hypocrite.
Just walk away.
Clare
She is rather callous. You can see how she's thinking of this financially rather than humanely, i.e. "I couldn't fix them and they'll fall off the wagon and I won't make money." Or she just sees them as too high a risk.
Given that she professes, as part of her professional profile, to strengthen the mind/body link, and then proceeds to shun indidivuals with a history of eating disordeers, I would have to conclude that the woman is a hypocrite.
Just walk away.
Clare
Ditch her. She sounds lazy, not to mention heartless. Many trainers are in it b/c they really want to help people be their best, but this one sure isn't. There's no reason for you to stick w/someone who isn't willing to see the big picture and integrate their clients' needs into their routines.
Find yourself a good nutritionist and another trainer. Every trainer is different & there is surely someone out there who'll be able to work with your needs.
Find yourself a good nutritionist and another trainer. Every trainer is different & there is surely someone out there who'll be able to work with your needs.
How arrogant and judgemental!! SHE'S the one with the problem - someone needs to "fix" her.
She does not deserve your business, and you would be absolutely right to feel offended even if you weren't dealing with this problem yourself.
I hope it's true that what comes around, goes around. Ultimately, she will fail. She obviously lacks compassion, not to mention sensitivity, so there's no way she'll succeed doing what she claims she wants to do. What a fraud!
Be strong. The rate of recovery is not "too low" -- many people have beaten this, and you will too!! No one with an ED is "broken" - sure it's a struggle, but people who have fought food and psychological issues are probably a lot stronger than most. We're the ones who face our problems head-on, we don't hide behind the pretense of superiority to others like this sorry excuse for a.... ok, I better stop before I break the "clean language" rule.
Don't let the experience get you down. In my opinion and experience, improving your fitness is the best medicine. For me, working out is the anti-binge. I don't want junky food after I've sweated my butt off. (Hopefully one day literally!)
Hang in there and there's lots of support here!
Joni
She does not deserve your business, and you would be absolutely right to feel offended even if you weren't dealing with this problem yourself.
I hope it's true that what comes around, goes around. Ultimately, she will fail. She obviously lacks compassion, not to mention sensitivity, so there's no way she'll succeed doing what she claims she wants to do. What a fraud!
Be strong. The rate of recovery is not "too low" -- many people have beaten this, and you will too!! No one with an ED is "broken" - sure it's a struggle, but people who have fought food and psychological issues are probably a lot stronger than most. We're the ones who face our problems head-on, we don't hide behind the pretense of superiority to others like this sorry excuse for a.... ok, I better stop before I break the "clean language" rule.
Don't let the experience get you down. In my opinion and experience, improving your fitness is the best medicine. For me, working out is the anti-binge. I don't want junky food after I've sweated my butt off. (Hopefully one day literally!)
Hang in there and there's lots of support here!
Joni
As most everyone here has already said: get rid of her. It takes a little while to find a trainer that is right for you. She is not the right one. And, in any case, her responsibility as a trainer is NOT to "fix" anyone -- especially not something as difficult as an eating disorder. Her responsibility is to TRAIN people.
Go get yourself a different trainer and don't let this one scare you away. I think having a trainer can make a HUGE difference in helping to reach your fitness goals, but you have to find one that is a good fit for you.
Shonie
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world" - Mahatma Gandhi
http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?p=6&uid=3655618&
Go get yourself a different trainer and don't let this one scare you away. I think having a trainer can make a HUGE difference in helping to reach your fitness goals, but you have to find one that is a good fit for you.
Shonie
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world" - Mahatma Gandhi
http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?p=6&uid=3655618&
I totally agree with what Shelley said! How completely horrible and unprofessional!!! Anyone who is in any kind of industry where your job is to help people and make them better and stonger should not even THINK about calling any person "broken"!!!!! I wish I could give her a piece of my mind.
Katie
Katie
OK, I'm weighing as the new resident know-it-all about personal training. First of all if she is an ACE-certified trainer, she is way outside the ACE code of ethics. If you don't want to train a client for whatever reason, there are ways to deal with that that are not demeaning or insulting. As for saying women with "eating disorders are broken", she is only qualified to refer a client with an eating disorder to a nutrionist (who she has worked with and has a relationship with). Otherwise, she is outside of her scope of practice and can be held liable. If it was your first time training with her, even discussing her personal life is inappropriate, you should be talking about fitness (I know that I'm being a little rigid about this) and your goals. As you develop a relationship with this trainer, this usually goea by the wayside.
DUMP HER!!! As with any profession there are good trainers and bad trainers. She's a bad one. I know a trainer who is just not comfortable working with pregnant women, but he always has another trainer to refer the client to who does work with that population. And he does this respectfully and kindly.
--Lois
"If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning" - Mahatma Ghandi
DUMP HER!!! As with any profession there are good trainers and bad trainers. She's a bad one. I know a trainer who is just not comfortable working with pregnant women, but he always has another trainer to refer the client to who does work with that population. And he does this respectfully and kindly.
--Lois
"If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning" - Mahatma Ghandi
her
>responsibility as a trainer is NOT to "fix" anyone --
>especially not something as difficult as an eating disorder.
>Her responsibility is to TRAIN people.
>Shonie
>"You must be the change you wish to see in the world" -
>Mahatma Gandhi
>
>http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?p=6&uid=3655618&
You hit the nail on the head, girlfriend!
Marla
>responsibility as a trainer is NOT to "fix" anyone --
>especially not something as difficult as an eating disorder.
>Her responsibility is to TRAIN people.
>Shonie
>"You must be the change you wish to see in the world" -
>Mahatma Gandhi
>
>http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?p=6&uid=3655618&
You hit the nail on the head, girlfriend!
Marla
futurefitnessdyanmo
Cathlete
Hi, just had to pipe in. I'm a therapist who treats eating disorders, and what an arrogant comment. Anyone who thinks they can "fix" anyone, psychologist, personal trainer, whatever, is too big for their britches. Clients "fix" themselves, and sometimes they find great therapists, friends, trainers, who help them along. And unfortunately, in your case, sometimes they don't.
I've been awed at times at the strength of my clients. The fact that they are even there talking about such painful issues is amazing, and the things they've endured that have contributed to their struggles even more striking. What a snob.
I think this woman could use some humbling feedback. Doesn't have to be harsh, and can be anonymous. But I'd let her know that she made some comments about others that struck you as wrong, and how it made you feel to hear her describe a whole group of people as not worth her effort. Whatever you need to say.
Just my 2 cents...
I've been awed at times at the strength of my clients. The fact that they are even there talking about such painful issues is amazing, and the things they've endured that have contributed to their struggles even more striking. What a snob.
I think this woman could use some humbling feedback. Doesn't have to be harsh, and can be anonymous. But I'd let her know that she made some comments about others that struck you as wrong, and how it made you feel to hear her describe a whole group of people as not worth her effort. Whatever you need to say.
Just my 2 cents...