Intuitive Eating Checkin 4/01-4/07

G

getyourfreakon0402

New Member
Alright! Week 3 and I'm still not the size of a house! :)

Following the book is going well and I'm actually sick of a lot of the junk food I indulged in when I started. I want salads, fruits, and other veggies now. I honestly feel like I'm on the way to balance though I still fight the fear that this can't possibly work. I'm starting to get a bit of a cold right now and am so happy that I can drink OJ. I can't believe that while dieting and having a cold I used to still not drink OJ because it had so many sugars and calories. Sheesh. Silly girl.

This week I'm still working on stopping eating when I'm full. How about ya'll?


Here's to another great week! J.
 
Keep up the good work! Isn't it nice that stopping dieting is helping you take better care of yourself? (Drinking OJ)

Because I've been at this awhile, and am kind of just brushing up, Easter was easy. I used to restrain myself at holiday gatherings, and then just pig out the next day. But when I don't worry about how much I should be eating, and just go for it, I don't overeat. My sister was at the get together, and she's been on Weight Watchers. I just think, ow! I would never PAY someone to tell me what to eat. (Like the book says.)
 
Hi everyone. Sounds like you are doing well. This is kind of scary, but I know intuitive eating will be the only way I can eat for life without setting myself up for a binge.

I had given up chocolate for lent, and on Easter I ate quite a bit. Yesterday I ate quite a bit of chocolate too (proof that deprivation doesn't permanently remove the desire for something). I wouldn't say I've binged, but eating "any" junk food to me still seems like something the food police will make me feel guilty for. However, I didn't stuff myself, nor did I eat the entire bag of anything. I've been wanting to eat healthy stuff during the day, and then at night the sweets cravings come on. I'm just going with the flow for now, and I haven't gained any weight (based on how my clothes fit...it's been almost 2 weeks since I've gotten weighed, which is a feat for me!)

I would like to work on stopping eating when I'm full this week also. This is still difficult for me. I find it easy during the day, but at night I want to overeat. I don't like the way I feel when I overeat. It's like I get so mesmerized with the process of eating that I can't stop, and suddenly I realize I've eaten more than I thought. They called that what, unconscious chaotic eating or something? I need to up my awareness of my internal signals and find some way to stop before I overeat. I had a feeling this would be my greatest challenge.

Last night I was reading my old high school diaries and I remember a passage about me lamenting and calling myself a fat slob because I weighed 114 (at 5' 6")...what warped ideas I had!!! And how I was only going to eat 1 meal a day until I lost weight. Good grief!! I was so incredibly hard on myself. I still have a lot of baggage about self-image to undo (and I am nowhere near 114 pounds today!).

Good luck everyone, and have a great week!

Holly
 
Hey Holly;

I just read that one line about being 114 in highschool and 5'6 and thinking you were fat. Do I hear ya!! I look at pictures of me at 16 and 17 and I was so skinny and yeah I too thought I was a porker. It is definitley hard to get that self image up but I have found that through healthy eating and exercise I feel so much better about me. Instead of 114 I am 130 but I have alot of muscle and am fit not starving. Body image is a hard thing to conquer but I think we are all on the right track with trying to live a healthy lifestyle.
 
I wasn't going to check in this week because I have been bad lately. I know that no food is 'bad.' But I have been eating TONS and over exercising to compensate for it. My shins, ankles, and knees hurt because of all of the fricking hi impact. Now my husband just told me that he is taking me to California for a vacation, and instead of being happy, I totally yelled at him for being rude and inconsiderate because I am afraid that I won't be able to workout at all and will have to eat at fast food places too much. Why does he put up with me? At least I am admitting all of this, and when I talk about things, they always seem to get better. Thanks for starting this check-in, I really appreciate all of the encouragement and advice I get here.
 
Just tell him you are sorry and tell him how you are feeling inside. He sounds like a terrific and supportive guy and he'll understand. Then go to California and have fun! When I go on vacation, I take along resistance bands and do push up and dips and I always take my running shoes! You can do this, Jilly! Believe in yourself!

I have been eating lots of candy and crap! Why do these holidays always fall when I am PMSy? One of the things I do is to eat the junk instead of my regular healthy meals. I know it's terrible but I know I would feel worse if I ate all that junk on top of my regular diet instead of in place of it. Don't tell me that Peeps and Robin's Eggs are not a wonderful Easter lunch?

Bobbi http://www.plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif Chick's Rule!
 
I'm doing HORRIBLE with eating lately!!! I totally went overboard this past weekend, and didn't listen to my hunger signals at all!! Last night was out for a business lunch, and found myself eating peanut butter and pretzels when I got home, even after eating a good dinner and some dessert. It was purely taste hunger.

I am recovering from an ED, and am finding that my fear of gaining weight is really inhibiting my ability to really follow IE. I'm 5'6", and currently weigh about 108ish. Which I realize is a healthy, even underweight weight for me, but I'm SOOO terrified of gaining weight!! It seems like when I do "loosen" up, and let in some of the 'forbidden' foods, that I wake up the next morning a pound or three higher than the previous day!! Ugh ... I HATE this dieting hell!! Restricting, overeating, overexercising, etc ... how do people break out of it without gaining TONS of weight in the process?!?! I JUST want to be able to eat normal again!!

~ Niclyf
 
Thanks for the support Bobbi! I am going to buy some resistance bands and apologize to my hubby. If I eat at In and Out Burger, it won't kill me right? Hey, my husband told me we were going to climb Half Dome once we're in California. Thank goodness I've been doing Imax lately!
 
I can relate to your vacation anxiety, JillyBean; dh and I are going to Hawaii in a month and I've already stressed out about not working out. But, I've been told, a week or two off won't ruin all your hard work. I have to drive this into my skull. Yes, I need to relax, a break is good. I've worked out 7 hours a week for the past 2.5 years (except for surgery and a couple of trips) and deserve a break! Tell yourself that you deserve this, and your fitness level won't fly out the window after a week or two.

I'm more trying to convince myself of this than anything...but good luck!
 
Hi Niclyf,

I'm one of those people who gained "tons of weight" (50 lb) after years of strict dieting, and I know you probably don't believe it, but I worry about my weight a lot less now than I did when I was at my low weight. Unfortunately, for me, if I am to get back to a low weight and stay there, I would have to resign myself to eating no more than 1200 calories a day. Not worth it! My point is, even if you do gain weight, it's not the end of the world. I survived, and am in much better health now than when I was 50 pounds lighter. And I would classify myself as normal-to-thin now, it's not like I'm overweight or anything. I'm sure you have a much different perception of your body than other people do. Now I can't understand why I was so terrified of gaining weight in the first place. I just wanted to say, even though it's scary in the process, that gaining weight is not the horror of horrors that it might seem like. To me, it's much better than staying in the severe deprivation and mental prison of watching everything that went into my mouth and counting every calorie. Hang in there, it gets better!
 
[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON Apr-03-02 AT 02:21PM (Est)[/font][p]Hollycat, thanks for your great post. I restricted myself down to 80 lbs. in 1999. By 2001, I weighed 160 (I literally doubled my weight!) I made up for a years' worth of dieting in a matter of months! But honestly, I worry less about my body now than I did then! I guess I should look at the fact that I am out of the hospital and able to go on a trip as a great thing! Your message to nicelyf and to myself really inspired me. Thank you for sharing your story and your encouragements! Seven hours a week for 2 1/2 years - you deserve a break!!!!
 
Hmm ... I'm intrigued. You weigh 50lbs more now, you said you're normal to thin .. what was your low weight?? You must've really dropped pretty low. My lowest was about 103, so I've put on a little bit in the past few months. What was your eating like to result in a 50 pound weight gain? I have to admit, the thought terrifies me. I am sporadically working with a nutritionist. My body fat at it's low point, was 10%, now I'm at 14.8%, and when I got that number, even though it's still lower than it should be, I panicked! About 10 years ago I weighed 192 lbs, I took the weight off through healthful eating and exercising, maintaining my weight at about 120 for several years. Then about a year and a half ago, I went through a stressful time period, and started dropping down, and thought it was "cool" to be thinner .. and just kept going. I woke up one morning, and due to a comment made by a family member, realized that I was battling anorexia .. the restriction (most days, I'm consuming around 600-700 calories) and exercising most days of the week. An "off" day for me is not doing cardio, just weights. I want to get back to normal eating, but fear that means gaining a lot of weight in the process, because who knows what I've done to my metabolism, and while I"m okay with the idea of heading back up towards 115 or 120, I'm not okay with the thought of surpassing that, and being 'heavy' again. I just wish I could go back to a normal way of eating like I've practiced previously, and the lifestyle that I had before. Eating in moderation and healthfully, working out, and maintaining a weight that I'm comfy with. How do people break out of this?!?! I feel soooo frustrated!!

~ Niclyf
 
You gals are awesome!!!!!!

Your posts have helped me tremendously. I can relate and it helps me realize that this is a persistent problem that is difficult to shake but can be shook free of.

The last couple of days I've felt chubbier and have noticed that my mind is searching for ways to diet...like maybe I'll just not eat anything with sugar, or maybe not dairy, or maybe only complex carbs. Ugh. Then I've got this bad cold and couldn't exercise. Watched myself do a mini freak out over that one. I don't know what the answer is only that I will not diet anymore. The chapter in IE about emotional eating is right on the money for me and I'll read it over and over for a while. I eat for pleasure and energy when I'm tired or over worked - I need to learn to take breaks without guilt. They said something that really hit me - people feel like it's okay to take a break while eating but not without eating. That's exactly how I feel and I had no idea how that was affecting me. I love learning something new!

It's interesting that almost all of us have this fear of gaining weight. It's hard to deal with. Thank you for making me more aware of it and how important it is to overcome or face this fear.

We can do it!

Peace and Love, J.
 
Hi again Niclyf,

I just wanted to say that I will answer your questions tomorrow...I don't have much time at the computer right now but I will say that it has been a long, slow process coming to terms with a "natural, healthy weight", which is not society's ideal (as in, Hollywood). I am still working on self-acceptance! I have to run right now but I will get back to this!

Holly
 
Hi guys! I can relate to just about everything that's been said. Right now I'm dealing with probable IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) and when it's acting up, there are some food restrictions I have no choice about. I hate it because it feels like a diet, even though it isn't. I saw a gastroenterologist for the first time yesterday, and she did some tests. Actually, IBS would probably be the "best" result, so I should look at it from that point of view.

I was also having a problem with late night eating. What helped for me was eating breakfast right after my workout instead of taking it to work. I don't know if you all read the section in the book about breakfast, but I always thought eating breakfast too early would make me hungrier. It does, but eating more often earlier in the day has made the evening cravings much less intense.

Kathy
 
JillyBean,

You are too kind...I just feel so strongly about food issues/eating disorders recovery/diet recovery that I hope something I say could help someone somewhere.

I'm sure you are much healthier at 160 than 80 pounds! Unless you're 4 feet tall, that is. :)

I hope you don't worry or feel ashamed about posting here if you are worried about being "bad" with food...I see this place as a safe environment in which to discuss our issues, positive and negative, in developing a healthy relationship with food and our bodies, NOT a place to judge each other on what we have or haven't eaten. Judging our food choices as "good" or "bad" is the work of the food police, who we are trying to get rid of!

I know many ex-anorexics are perfectionists by nature (I am for sure), so I like to use the phrase, "progress, not perfection" (to borrow from the 12-step groups).

I'm so glad Jen started this check in! This helps me so much.

Take care,
Holly
 
Hi Niclyf,

I've been thinking about you since I read your posts. Don't know if this will help but... I used to think that I was the best I could be at 103lbs on a 5'4" frame But of course I was only slim and not exactly healthy. I had to be very careful about what I ate and I couldn't let myself sleep much. I got a lot done everyday but it felt like a race. I still thought I had flab that could go but realized it would be healthier to replace it with muscle. I started exercising and became a fairly fit 115lbs. I didn't get sick very often; felt more relaxed and focussed... only that number didn't sound as good as 103(I thought at the time). And now.... I am a Cathe buff 130-135lbs! The unbelieveable... I only went up one size in clothes, but my waist got even smaller! At first I didn't think it was so great but I have learned from experience that when someone asks you how much you weigh and you tell them the truth, they can't believe it! Then they say that you must be all muscle, skin and bone. Hey, does that feel good! Now I'm actually proud to say how much I weigh because I FEEL GREAT! (and I like seeing the funny looks on peoples' faces when I tell them! smirk). I have all the perks too: lots of energy, good food, good health (almost never get sick!)and except when I eat too much sugar, a good mental atitude.
I hope you get the change in mental outlook that I got, and try your best to focus, and if you need more to ponder about: I wonder how much Cathe weighs? I'll bet it's more than you think! And does she look fab?!!!
Keep up the good work,
Jodi
 
I do so well with my eating during the week, but I have such a hard time on the weekend. It starts Friday night I feel like rewarding my self with chocolate for being so good all week long, them because Saturday and Sunday are relaxed days, my eating is also relaxed, I don't really eat big meals, I just want to eat chocolate or cake or cookies. How do I make myself stop? No one will have an answer because I know it's up to me to stop!! But it's like I have no self control. If I did loose a pound by Friday, I have put it back on from bad eating on Friday night/Saturday/Sunday. Oh woe is me!
 
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