I am soooo mad this morning

C

CarrieWills

Member
My husband has a problem with my weight loss and new found attention. He got very upset because guys were looking at me when we went to the mall. I explained to him that it's not my fault but he wouldn't hear it. I talked to him more about this once we got home and he said he doesn't understand why i exercise. I got so upset and in return he got upset and took all my Cathe workout dvd's and crushed them . I am so crushed right now because I had her whole collection. :-(
 
He crushed all your workout dvds? Okay, that's a bit extreme. I'd be absolutely livid. In fact, that might be divorce material.

Has he been violent like that before?
 
Carrie,

I read your post with my mouth agape! I am stunned he would destroy your dvds. How devastating for you. I'm not only proud of my accomplishments with these workouts, but my collection makes me proud also. How long have you been married? Has he shown any sign of jealousy in the past? It seems to me he is pretty insecure if having someone else just looking at you upsets him. I am so sorry that this happened to you, and I hope you two can resolve this. If so, he'd better get on e-bay and start bidding. Best of luck.

Doreen
 
Major, major red flags! I'd be looking to ditch this dude real quick! He may not stop with just crushing DVD's, if you know what I mean.
 
}( }( i swear if i had the money, i would buy you 2 complete cathe bundles and overnight them to your house}( }(

how long have you been married
 
I understand that you are upset about the dvds...but I think you need to look beyond that.

A) A supportive partner is someone who is happy for their partner's achievements in life.

B) This violent reaction only hints at some stronger reactions down the road. Now he is confining himself to objects, but anger is a festering thing. Soon he will need a better outlet for his rage, and he will see you as a target. He already sees you with jealously and anger.

Go beyond the obvious. DVDs can be replaced. This man needs some help, and, pardon my bluntness, so do you if you refuse to acknowledge the deeper issues.
 
We have been married for 6 years and in the beginning I was toned and sexy so he would have his moments. After I got pregnant it was hard to lose the weight and he calmed down a bit and seemed secure. It wasn't until i lost the weight that his old self returned.
 
This seems like a form of abuse to me. At least control.

If he takes out his aggression/anger at you getting attention from other men (instead of being proud of you) by destroying something, who knows where it would lead?

If this really happened, I would get counselling at the very least.
 
I just wanted to add that I didn't mean to sound mean or cruel. I have a tendency to be pretty blunt, and I don't know you at all, but I am concerned for you. Please understand that. This is causing you great pain, I know. I just don't want you to be blinded by that.
 
Oh my goodness, I can't believe I'm about to recommend that someone get a divorce. I have never recommended it before, and hope never to recommend it again. I think you should divorce this man as soon as possible. I am deeply sorry to have to say that. IMHO, you should run, not walk, to a GOOD divorce lawyer.

Best wishes,
Nancy
 
Or if you think it's even salvageable, please seek counseling right now. Working out is not just about how you look, it's about how you feel about yourself and that impacts your relationships with folks all around you. But this is not about working out. This is about your safety. I would agree with what everyone else has said - this is a MAJOR sign to you - please don't choose to ignore it. But if you do - it is your choice. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Lorrie

Pain is temporary - quitting lasts forever
Candace Grasso, CC-V-6
 
Yeah, like Anne just said...he needs to replace them ALL then. That is terrible he can't be happy for your healthy progress. Of course guys are going to look at you...they ain't dead. What does he expect? Demand he buy them ALL!

Charlotte~~
 
Carrie,

That is so sad. Please don't let him crush your self esteem just because his is low. Be proud of what you have accomplished. You are doing a great job. I don't want to tell you how to handle this situation, but please be strong and confident and do what you feel is important to you. Cathe's dvds can always be replaced, but your self esteem is not so easily replaceable. Best of luck to you. ((((HUGS))))

Lea
 
I agree with others who replied here that you should consider finding a good divorce lawyer. This doesn't sound like just a minor spat that can be fixed. The fact that he "had his moments" before your pregnancy, and now this, makes it obvious that he has ongoing issues with insecurity and his way of dealing with it is to attempt to control--through anger, intimidation, and/or manipulation. This will probably continue as long as it works. Do not let it. I realize there is a child involved and you have much to consider, but please think about your own safety and how witnessing his actions might affect your child.

MissL
 
I am horrified for you! This not only is a disrespectful act, but a violent one and a sign that the worst is yet to come. I, like Nancy, have never recommended that a couple be apart, but for your safety, you might want to consider this, if nothing else, on a temporary basis. Please take good care.
 
Carrie,
I hate to say it but I have to agree with the others. The fact that he would go into such a fit and get so upset as to CRUSH all your Cathe DVD's just screams to me that he has a problem.

And you said he was somewhat jealous when you were all cute and toned before. The only thing that "tamed" him was that you gained weight and were not considered cute anymore?

I think he is capable of much more and that his jealousy is going to be vdery dangerous for you if you don't leave.

I wish you the best.
 
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